Not My Centipedes, Not My Circus

From a hugging wall come creepy, hulking ghoulish creatures ready to kill (or hug?) our adventurers! And then later there may be a crypt with a whole lot of bugs.


The Legendary Hugging Wall

Death House resumes, and our adventurers must explore strange passageways, discovering deceptive items and even more deceptive walls!


Tugging on the Orb

So there’s this orb, and it’s pretty shiny. Maybe we should touch it?


Paladins Crying Uncontrollably

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grick. Also, Ghouls are not nice.


A Little Dust-Up

The journey into Death House goes a little deeper, with creepy closets, creepy magical foes, and more creepy children!


All Children Are Creepy

A new adventure begins! Led by Dungeon Master Dan Moren, our adventurers wake from a night by a campfire to discover a deserted town, a couple of creepy kids, and a suspiciously creepy mansion.


We Wreck Everything We See

At long last, the final confrontation with the vampire lord! But will our adventurers’ previous actions in the Undermountain be to their own benefit, or will they play right into their enemy’s hands?


Cowering Behind a Wizard

Our adventuring crew approaches its final destination, the lair of the vampire lord. But first, a seemingly innocuous anteroom with two pools in it! Surely nothing bad can happen here!


All Hands on Deck!

What happens when you put a dude in a Ding-Dong? What’s the most menacing sort of high-five you could imagine? Things get much more dangerous as you close in on a diabolical vampire lord…


Please Avenge My Death

Pools and Ghouls! Creepy liquid and horrible wraiths and a surprising encounter with a Ding-Dong. The Undermountain dungeon crawl… er, crawls toward its climax!


Ask the Dungeon Masters

In this special 100th edition, we take a break from the regular D&D playing to quiz all of our Dungeon Masters on questions supplied by Total Party Kill listeners.


That’s Why You Should Floss

Team Wraith takes the fight to Dragonforge and Associates.


The Corpse Is Dead!

Dragonforge and Associates continue their winning ways and learn what “undead” means.


How Deep Is My Dagger?

Can our adventurers outwit a group of flaming suits of armor? Knowing our gang, it’s a toss-up. Plus, a zen garden of horrors!


What’s Left of Pieter Dragonforge

So… a Gelatinous Cube, eh? Ate Pieter Dragonforge and Flessa, you say? Did anyone survive?


Faraday Cube

You know what’s worse than giant spiders? The thing our adventurers find in the bottom of a pit, that’s what.


Team Spider

The battle with the giant spiders continues, with Olestran battling his fear and the rest of the group battling the actual spiders. And when that fun’s all done, it’s time to search the room for treasure!


Very Briefly Poisoned

Dragonforge and Associates return! To battle giant spiders! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! SPIDERS!!!!!!!!!!


Science and Other Sciences

Shocktober concludes for this year with a whole lot of magic books and an appeal to the Angel of Justice that doesn’t go as planned.


Brain Genie

Our Shocktober adventure does the Monster Mash with an adventure in a spooky laboratory with a cabinet full of brains, a storage room that’s got more than meets the eye, and a secret attic altar with a bunch of forbidden books.


Toxic Vomit

Shocktober continues! Our adventurers grapple with a giant shambling monster made up of the body parts of various animals. Many things are regurgitated! Gruther is slammed! Arrows are let fly! Prison cells are investigated! An objective is located—twice! And then there’s a duck. So tune in, Jimmy!


If You Build It, Bats Will Come

Shocktober returns, and we return to Seyvoth Manor to continue our spooky crawl through a haunted house. Bats! Ghosts! Frankenstein’s Monsters! Shambling horrors! Who knows what spooky things we’ll find around the next corner…

(This continues the story we played in episodes 61-64 last October.)


That’s So Bahamut

Our adventurers get in a little fighting before the episode becomes a whole lot more philosophical. Also, they try to pawn all the hard work off on someone who isn’t them.


Every Combat Begins with Kay

Helmed horrors conquered, there are ghouls to deal with. (Ghouls’ Night!) They are not easy to deal with. But if they can be dispatched, our adventurers will be gifted with… a mysterious corpse?


Seven Against Two Is the Best Odds

Dragonforge and Associates pick up after their Mummy battle, bind their wounds, and set out deeper into the crypt. Helmed horrors! Creepy lightning! Suspended skeletons! What an adventure awaits…

(If you got an earlier version of this episode, it had an audio problem. This version is guaranteed to be good!)


This Really Ties the Room Together

Dragonforge and Associates consider the magical wiring diagram of the Tombs of the Undermountain, but someone ends up crying for their mummy. (Get it? MUMMY!)


Ding Dongs and Doolallys

The battle with the flaming suits of armor continues! And then our adventurers interrogate some very strange prisoners.


Can We Crash at Your God’s Place?

Now that the skeleton battle is over, we are welcomed into the Temple of Jergal by Brother Bathelby. There’s also a lot of listening at doors, life-sized chess, and some unpleasant suits of armor.


The Door Softened Them Up For Us

Our adventurers come to the door of Jeregal’s temple, but not without meeting some resistance! Also, in a special solo session, we find out what happened to Acrid the Dragonborn when he disappeared a few episodes ago.


Ghouls’ Night!

After the battle with the zombies concludes, our adventurers investigate the tombs of Undermountain and discover some other terrifying creatures.


Between Two Sarcophagi

Our adventurers emerge through a trap door into the tombs of the Undermountain, in a room full of shambling zombies. Also, the party’s newest adventurer seems to be missing.


It’s Never Too Late for Pew When You’re in the Sewer

The sewer battle with the Tin Dog gang rages on, but for how long? And when it’s complete, what happens then? Also, nobody tell Pieter Dragonforge how bad his backpack smells.


Crossbow Friends!

There’s one place you never want to get in a knock-down, drag-out battle, and that’s the sewer. Unfortunately for Dragonforge & Associates, that’s just what has happened.


A Rather Substantial Tab

The press of bar bills and a lead on their search for Rutherford Urmbrusk convinces Dragonforge and Associates to return to adventuring, with a new member of their party and a whole new way to enter the Undermountain.


Where Do You See Yourself in Five Levels?

Hello, from a not-very-magic tavern! In this prelude to a new season of Dragonforge & Associates fourth-edition D&D adventure, we return to the Yawning Portal in the city of Waterdeep, just around the corner from the bugbear-owned, kobold-operated sandwich shop, and reunite with Pieter Dragonforge, Kay, and Flessa. They are on one of the scariest of missions: Namely, trying to find a new member of the party by interviewing three candidates. Who will join the party and who will be left behind?


Axe Punch His Face

Our adventurers reach the summit of the Ziggurat and have their final confrontation with the Defiler and a threat that could destroy all of Athas.


Unguarded Crack

A fierce Mul gladiator (not Carlos) protects the interior of the ziggurat as our separated heroes struggle to reunite and defeat their enemies.


Two Muls, a Defiler, and a Beetle Place

Eglath’s Angels conclude their encounter at the city gates and then journey deep into the city to explore a threatening ziggurat.


Magical Selfie Stick

Our adventurers approach the gates and statues that mark the entry point to the long-dead city of Kaldinay. But a funny thing happened on the way to the Ziggurat…


Strumming His Piccolo

Freshly out of their pit, our heroes regroup and journey back out into the desert to find the source of the shaquat beetles at Fort Melidor. Also, we learn what a group of cacti is called, and discover some strange things about elven musical instruments.

(This episode was initially released with the last 30 minutes of audio translated into Thri’Kreen. We’ve re-released it with the last 30 minutes in English, for our human listeners.)


Ways to Not Be a Beetle

The elemental magic-users seem to have what they want—Regdar’s crown—so you’d think the fight would be over. But our adventurers don’t know how to take “no” for an answer! There’s a dramatic transformation and an epic run that will go down in legend and song.


Epic Hat Destiny

The underground battle for Regdar’s crown has begun! And before it’s over, things are going to get tough for our adventurers.


Carlos, Have You Learned Nothing?

The battle with Carlos’s nemesis Morningstar is just the beginning of this adventure. There are accountants to terrorize and templars to badger! Will TPK turn into a courtroom drama? Anything’s possible with this group…


Is This Your Card?

Combat combat combat! The battle with the spooky, speedy psionicist continues, and Carlos meets an old colleague and isn’t remotely happy to see him. Plus Regdar runs out of spells and Omlol hears the Good News about Carlos.


Descriptions & Doors

Our adventurers return after a long absence (for them, not you) and after remembering where they are, they spend a whole lot of time listening at silent doors and sneaking down hallways, while preparing for the ultimate battle in the basement of the pottery emporium.


In That Trunk Is Some Funk

We return to the world of Eglath’s Angels, as our adventurers continue to clear out rooms full of sleepy guards before attempting an assault on the source of the mind-control beetles.


Have You Seen Billy?

Our Shocktober special concludes with more battles with plants, a speed run through the mansion as time is about to expire, some books, a chest, a Legend of Zelda reference, and more spoooooky ghosts.


Root of the Problem

Our Shocktober special continues with two of the most terrifying things you’ll ever find in a haunted mansion: books and plants.


Jam Cabinet

In part two of our special four-part SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL, our adventurers attempt to get out of the cellar and into the mansion proper. What spooky spectres await them?


Knee Deep in Bat Guano

In part one of our special four-part SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL, DM’s Dan and Tony take a new crew of five adventurers on a trip to a spoooooky mansion. (They may not make it past the front door.)


Bedroom Farce

Bedrooms, sleepy guards in loincloths, and a whole lot of confusion. Just another day at the office for our adventurers? Not hardly! Today’s the day they meet Chad.


The Murder Chute

Our adventurers are still in the midst of their midnight raid into the unaffiliated pottery outpost that they suspect to be the center of the operation that’s distributing mind-control beetles far and wide. In this episode, they battle some guards near the fiery pottery kilns, toss a coin a time or two, make a descent through a hidden shaft, and open up some sacks of flour. Plus, Carlos shows off a few of his special talents.


Unaffiliated Pottery Outpost

The adventurers return under cover of night to infiltrate the pottery outpost and uncover, at last, the source of the horrible beetle infestation! But do they want to try to kill guards who are just doing their jobs? Sometimes, when you’re fighting near a kiln, you start to wonder about killin’.


Full House

The adventurers return to Tyr and go to a pub, which is exactly what you’d expect. But this pub has a Mul with some very important info that he’d like to provide—if something terrible doesn’t happen to him first! Also, Regdar and some accomplices visit a notable pottery emporium.


Professional Monkey Paw Operator

In the aftermath of a horrible loss, our party struggles to stay alive against an onslaught of webbed and unwebbed Tembo. Is there any hope? Perhaps the slightest ruby glint…


Too Many Tembo

With the caravan and the village of Red Obelisk behind them, and Scale back out of her protective bubble, our adventurers set off back to Tyr. Surely they wouldn’t have the bad luck to run into some dangerous, legendary bogeyman out in the desert, right? Right???


Beetles in Jars

Our adventurers continue their near-naked escape from beetles and cages and defilers and other nasty things in the desert. Also, a certain bedroom containing someone’s purple pants might make a return.


1d8 Beetles

Trapped in a cage, assaulted by horrendous mind-control beetles, what can our adventurers do to save themselves?


Dwarven Bards!

Our adventurers try to remember where they left their characters only to find themselves in the clutches of Bezrak and his terrible conspirators from House Shom!


That’s So Catapult

Our adventurers and their caravan continue their battle with the massive horde of giths. This episode contains: Fighting! Dead guards! Outriders! More fighting! More dead guards! Also: A catapult (not pictured).


Swan Song

Omlol flees from his bar brawl! Will the party arrive in time to save him? Plus taunting from a caravan, bardic inspiration, Presta has bad luck, the catapult gets used (but not used well), and oh yeah, there’s this horde of Giths…


Do Giants Stack?

Our adventurers salve their wounds until the caravan reaches a desert settlement. Their suspicions about Bezrak lead them to engage in sleuthing—some of it successful, and the rest of it by Carlos. Also, local muscle is called, and there’s a bar fight!


Chitin’s Gonna Ichor

You may ask yourself, why is this oasis so plentiful? And you may ask yourself, why is this lady so beautiful? And you may tell yourself, this is not a beautiful tent. And you may tell yourself, these are not beautiful rugs!


War on Rugs

In the wake of Omlol, Katch’ka, and Regdar getting in trouble for their door-related shenanigans, Carlos, Scale and Presta take on the next round of searching the caravan for creepy beetles. Water is fetched! Bribes are paid! Wicker baskets are moved mysteriously! An oasis is spotted! And is it true love at last for Omlol? (Spoiler: It’s not. Not at all.)


A Door Killed My Brother

The three interlopers who broke the master’s door are under investigation! Can Carlos, Scale and Presta aid in their defense? The management of the caravan tries to unravel the events of our previous episode, and everyone ends up even more confused. Plus, Presta learns an important lesson about vouching.


A Night on the Caravan

Paramount Pictures presents the Three Athas Brothers in their funniest film yet! Or to put it another way, Katch’ka and Omlol and Regdar find a whole bunch of wacky ways to get into trouble while the rest of the party is sleeping. Scale makes an uncomfortably enthusiastic new friend! Bowls of stew are ordered! Teak is shattered! And how that Kank got into my pajamas, I’ll never know…


A Hat and Some Bugs

Our adventurers meet their new boss and set out with the caravan into the desert. Regdar attempts to show the worth of his MBA. Katch’ka startles his new co-workers with his leaping. And a glint of sunlight off metal spotted nearby proves just too exciting to pass up.


0 Days Since Last Death

We return to the strange world of Dark Sun and some of the characters from the first season of Total Party Kill! Fresh off their victory at the Face in the Stone, Carlos, Katch’ka, and Regdar are ready for a visit to the pub, but a familiar face stands in their way! Plus there’s a discussion of microeconomics, Carlos shows off his lack of social skills, we learn about warring trading houses and teak futures, and a few new traveling companions are introduced.


Turn the Slug Around

Our adventurers conclude their battle with Zarr and his (hob)goblin lackeys, and get some answers about Rutherford Urmbrusk and the Undermountain.

Love maps? Check out Tony and Dan’s complete map for this adventure.

See you in a couple of weeks for a return to our Dark Sun campaign, upgraded for D&D Fifth Edition, with some old friends and new faces!


Scorpion Rodeo

Our adventurers continue their battle through the scorpion kennel, and then force a final confrontation with Zarr.

Dungeon Map


There’s Always a Lesser Goblin

Kay returns, and our adventurers set out down a secret passage in pursuit of Zaar. Olestran finds a room he’s seen before. And one particular Goblin really drew the short straw.

Dungeon Map


A Slug and a Nice Mint Julep

Son, I say, son, it’s time for our adventures to square off against Zarr, the gentleman boss of the southern dungeons. Hexes will be hurled, party members will be blinded, quarries will be sought, and ballistas will roll! Can this be Sluggy the Spirit Slug’s finest hour?

Dungeon Map


International House of Kobolds

Sluggy the spirit slug proves to be an amazing defense. Pieter Dragonforge gets it from all sides. Zaar is not impressed with the quality of his help. And the dungeon fills with more gas clouds than you’ll find in a Chipotle bathroom. It’s all just another day in the Undermountain.

Dungeon Map


This Guy’s From Grand Rapids!

Our party takes stock after defeating the Rage Drake. Olestran commando-crawls up a ramp. Pretty medallions are found. (And Steve’s memory of medallion-grabbing is validated.) We don’t check for traps! Zarr’s bedchamber is discovered. Tapestry class is in session. Riswynn takes a dangerous nap. And all the while, Peter stands at a door, just itching for a fight.


That Ship Has Sailed to Winch Town

Hobgoblins and Drakes, oh my! Is this the boss battle Dragonforge and Associates has been waiting for? If you wanted to see us deploy strategy and roll a lot of dice, at long last you are going to get your wish.


Undermountain Thanksgiving

Drowabunga! A mysterious stranger brings a fish feast to our hardy-but-exhausted adventurers. There’s much conversation, a little dice rolling, and Pieter throws a surprise party for an unwitting Kobold. Also, Kay and a different Kobold have a very nice conversation about trees and sandwiches.


Time is a Flat Rat

Rats in a pit! Flessa climbs out, but the rats won’t be kept down! Our adventurers attack some vermin, meet a new friend, and inspect some rooms. Plus Olestran does some things with rope and some nice arrow tricks too.


Should My Orb Still Be Glowing?

Dragonforge and Associates come around a corner to discover an entirely new room full of entirely new dangers! Melech and Pieter are clumsy lummoxes. A surprising feature of the new room is revealed. And while Flessa thinks they’re pointy kitties, if they bite and swarm, they’re probably rats. #ratfacts!


One Rat Deep

Our adventurers battle some goblins and ponder a stack of rats in the corner of a hallway. A clever goblin plan to trap our adventurers in an enclosed space has an apparently unanticipated side-effect. Pieter gets cold feet. Olestran rolls a critical smell. And at the end, we take a break for some talk about beer.


Blinded by Kobold Science

In this episode, our adventurers make a gigantic mess in a Kobold lab. A Kobold intern proffers his resume. Someone gets sparkly, like a Twilight vampire. Undermountain cubicles are disrupted. We mispronounce many words. Plus: Secret recipes learned at Fictional Kobold Science University!


Bone Throne

Our party confronts spooky floating bones above a spooky throne. Pieter covets a dead man’s hat. Olestran makes a nifty trick shot that nobody else wants him to make. Doors are checked. Sandwiches are promised. This episode also serves as the series pilot for “CSI: Undermountain.”


Don’t Trust the Bugbear

What’s behind the door? Our adventurers discover a sleeping guard and a collection of prisoners alive and dead. When Flessa’s not trying to blame it on her rusty dagger, Pieter is consulting Paladinpedia about whether it’s okay to kill a bugbear. Speaking of bugbears, we have a feeling you’re about to have a favorite non-player character…


2 Legit 2 Hit

Dragonforge and Associates continues its clean-up of the Goblin and Kobold infested room. Flessa gets out her hammer, which leads to a series of jokes you might expect. A prisoner is rescued, and a door is opened. Melech is good at orbs, everyone does the Funky Diagonal, and a Kobold Worm Priest has a really confusing day.


Rat Burrito

At last, our party meets up with actual, moving foes! Attempts at diplomacy ensue. Pillars are used as convenient forms of cover. And there’s a tiny personal tragedy involving a model train.


Wiggle the Something-or-Others

Dragonforge and Associates continue their exploration of the eastern half of a corridor lined with statues. Pieter stands up. Flessa does some acrobatic moves. Riswynn professes her love of books. Melech lights up a statue. But will they finally reach the end of the hallway?


Death to All Statues

Dragonforge and Associates reach the bottom of the pit in their large basket and discover the horrors beneath. A survivor is interrogated. Bodies are thrown in the basket. A door is detected, its building materials recognized, and a corridor full of statues is discovered! Also our adventurers consider whether or not to deploy the “erosion strategy,” and Pieter takes a seat and ponders his choices.


Garage Band of Heroes

It’s time for a new adventure with new DMs and a new party! When we meet Dragonforge and Associates they are hanging out on some bean bag chairs in Mr. Dragonforge’s basement in a comfortable suburb of Waterdeep. But a strange note arrives and adventure calls them away to the Yawning Portal!

Your new party (left to right, pixel art by Jesse Lane), is:

  • Pieter - Human Paladin (played by Jason Snell)
  • Melech - Tiefling Wizard (played by Monty Ashley)
  • Olestran - Elf Ranger (played by Steve Lutz)
  • Kat - Half-elf Druid (played by Serenity Caldwell)
  • Riswynn - Dwarf Cleric (played by Sarah Barbour)
  • Flessa - Human Rogue (played by Erika Ensign)

Our dungeons master are Dan Moren and Tony Sindelar.


Spooky Hat Club

The adventure of the Temple of the Face in the Stone reaches its conclusion! But will our adventurers live to fight another day? Death-saving throws will be failed! Skill checks will be rolled! You’ve come this far, you might as well listen to one more episode with these knuckleheads.

(This marks the end of this season of Total Party Kill. We’ll be back in a month or so with a shortish adventure with new characters, new DMs, and a new setting. But fear not! We’ll return to this group of characters again in the future.)


Who Knows Origami?

Our adventurers take stock, meet a new fungus-covered friend, discover the fate of the Red Cord mercenaries, and make their way back to the entrance to the temple, where they discover there’s one more battle left to fight.


Warlocks and Door Locks

Our Carlos-caused battle with the mushroom people continues. Nobody will escape unscathed! Doors will open and close. A retreat will be sounded. One member of the group will be revealed as a macabre MacGyver. And we learn that when you gaze into the mushroom, the mushroom looks back into you.


Do You Know the Mushroom Man?

Our adventurers recover from their horrible wounds inflicted by the silkworm, take a rest, and then find the final room in this temple too intriguing to ignore. It’s all Carlos’s fault—he runs in where intelligent people fear to tread, and gets a face full of mushroom.


Pick Out a Pretty Headstone

Our adventurers battle against the giant silkworm at the heart of the temple, and their lives are on the line. No, seriously, unless one of them makes exactly the right dice roll at the right time, they’re all gonna die.


The Fightin’ Sand Rams

Carlos is at the bottom of the pit, our party is standing in a doorway, and a giant silkworm is about to strike! This isn’t going to go well, isn’t it? In fact, Carlos, you might want to just stay down there in the pit. It’s safer down there.


Let the Best Mul Win

Our adventurers continue their battle with Nala the Girl-liath and Daroc the Mul, who is even more unpleasant than Carlos. There’s also some exploring, Katchka makes critical rolls for nature and listening, curiously shaped mushrooms are discovered, and stick around for our terrifying cliffhanger!


Wraith Relations

The battle with the scaled guardians, zombies, and wispy wraiths continues amid the dead bodies and braziers. Asteron eats a valuable gem. We debate the pronunciation of gith. Carlos gets caught thinking about something other than his job at just the wrong time. And we learn a valuable lesson about not letting your Minotaur do the negotiating for you.


Don’t Lick the Serpent

Our adventurers investigate snake chalk art, disturb some funeral urns, and discover that sometimes a room full of dead bodies is just a room full of dead bodies… just not this time.


Plaintive Moos

Our adventurers enter a room dominated by powerful winds. (But enough about that burrito Regdar ate back at the tavern.) A creepy whispering fountain and creepier whirling dust devils can’t be good, right? Also, Carlos gets really angry and attacks a statue.


The Orb Was Obvious

Our dungeon crawl through the desert temple continues. We poke some weird fungus with a stick and then investigate a room containing a very old knight. It’s like that scene in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade,” except it may be our adventurers who have chosen… poorly. Again.

This is the first “new” episode of TPK. Older episodes originally appeared in the feed of The Incomparable and have been retconned into TPK episodes for new listeners.


Blazing Skeletons

Skeletons and salt zombies! Oh my!


Danger’s My Middle Name

A choice between two different magical fountains, plus some zombies and an angry skeleton.


Swimming Lessons

Obelisks with lightning bolts and a surprising encounter with marine life.


Torn Between Two Obelisks

The stone temple finally comes into view, but it’s protected by two horrible obelisks that shoot lightning bolts.


Enter the Minotaur

A new adventurer joins the party, and everyone experiences a terrifying journey through the sandstorm vortex.


The Trouble With Eglath

Our adventurers finish their battle at the whirlwind, but at a somewhat horrible price.


Sun, Sand, and Tareks

The battle by the sandstorm vortex continues, with Carlos on the move and unpleasant Tareks doing damage to our adventurers.


Bone Javelin

Glass spiders and a horrific sandstorm vex our Dark Sun adventurers.


Kank Merchant

After waking up in an alley, our adventurers outfit themselves for a trip deep into the desert.


We’ve Been In Worse Situations

Amid a brutal battle in a market area, our brave adventurers try to hide behind a hot dog cart. It works as well as you might expect.


Meet the Party

Introducing our party of five adventurers in the desert realm of Athas, as they begin their quest and get in a fight with some nasty dwarves. It doesn’t go well.