We were in the desert
Everybody had matching tattoos
Somebody rolled into our flock
And we all saw a rock
It wasn’t a rock
It was a rock monster
We were in the desert
In a bit of trouble with wind and templars, the adventurers of Eglath’s Angels take on a new mission to get themselves out of the city of Tyr for a little while. Turns out they’re just as bad at lying as they always were. And a new friend joins the party! But once they’re out in the desert, they’ll prove themselves to be cunning warriors… right?
A final battle with greenery, and then our adventurers will try to escape from the Death House at last! But will the house truly live up to its diabolical name?
Death House continues barreling toward its inevitable end! Will all our adventurers make it out alive?
From a hugging wall come creepy, hulking ghoulish creatures ready to kill (or hug?) our adventurers! And then later there may be a crypt with a whole lot of bugs.
Death House resumes, and our adventurers must explore strange passageways, discovering deceptive items and even more deceptive walls!
The journey into Death House goes a little deeper, with creepy closets, creepy magical foes, and more creepy children!
A new adventure begins! Led by Dungeon Master Dan Moren, our adventurers wake from a night by a campfire to discover a deserted town, a couple of creepy kids, and a suspiciously creepy mansion.
At long last, the final confrontation with the vampire lord! But will our adventurers’ previous actions in the Undermountain be to their own benefit, or will they play right into their enemy’s hands?
Our adventuring crew approaches its final destination, the lair of the vampire lord. But first, a seemingly innocuous anteroom with two pools in it! Surely nothing bad can happen here!
What happens when you put a dude in a Ding-Dong? What’s the most menacing sort of high-five you could imagine? Things get much more dangerous as you close in on a diabolical vampire lord…
Pools and Ghouls! Creepy liquid and horrible wraiths and a surprising encounter with a Ding-Dong. The Undermountain dungeon crawl… er, crawls toward its climax!
In this special 100th edition, we take a break from the regular D&D playing to quiz all of our Dungeon Masters on questions supplied by Total Party Kill listeners.
Can our adventurers outwit a group of flaming suits of armor? Knowing our gang, it’s a toss-up. Plus, a zen garden of horrors!
You know what’s worse than giant spiders? The thing our adventurers find in the bottom of a pit, that’s what.
The battle with the giant spiders continues, with Olestran battling his fear and the rest of the group battling the actual spiders. And when that fun’s all done, it’s time to search the room for treasure!
Shocktober concludes for this year with a whole lot of magic books and an appeal to the Angel of Justice that doesn’t go as planned.
Our Shocktober adventure does the Monster Mash with an adventure in a spooky laboratory with a cabinet full of brains, a storage room that’s got more than meets the eye, and a secret attic altar with a bunch of forbidden books.
Shocktober continues! Our adventurers grapple with a giant shambling monster made up of the body parts of various animals. Many things are regurgitated! Gruther is slammed! Arrows are let fly! Prison cells are investigated! An objective is located—twice! And then there’s a duck. So tune in, Jimmy!
Shocktober returns, and we return to Seyvoth Manor to continue our spooky crawl through a haunted house. Bats! Ghosts! Frankenstein’s Monsters! Shambling horrors! Who knows what spooky things we’ll find around the next corner…
(This continues the story we played in episodes 61-64 last October.)
Our adventurers get in a little fighting before the episode becomes a whole lot more philosophical. Also, they try to pawn all the hard work off on someone who isn’t them.
Helmed horrors conquered, there are ghouls to deal with. (Ghouls’ Night!) They are not easy to deal with. But if they can be dispatched, our adventurers will be gifted with… a mysterious corpse?
Dragonforge and Associates pick up after their Mummy battle, bind their wounds, and set out deeper into the crypt. Helmed horrors! Creepy lightning! Suspended skeletons! What an adventure awaits…
(If you got an earlier version of this episode, it had an audio problem. This version is guaranteed to be good!)
Dragonforge and Associates consider the magical wiring diagram of the Tombs of the Undermountain, but someone ends up crying for their mummy. (Get it? MUMMY!)
The battle with the flaming suits of armor continues! And then our adventurers interrogate some very strange prisoners.
July 26, 2016 • 58 minutes • Dragonforge & Associates II, Part 8 • Tony Sindelar with Georgia Dow, Erika Ensign, Serenity Caldwell, Monty Ashley, Steve Lutz, Jason Snell, David J. Loehr and Brian Hamilton
Now that the skeleton battle is over, we are welcomed into the Temple of Jergal by Brother Bathelby. There’s also a lot of listening at doors, life-sized chess, and some unpleasant suits of armor.
Our adventurers come to the door of Jeregal’s temple, but not without meeting some resistance! Also, in a special solo session, we find out what happened to Acrid the Dragonborn when he disappeared a few episodes ago.
After the battle with the zombies concludes, our adventurers investigate the tombs of Undermountain and discover some other terrifying creatures.
Our adventurers emerge through a trap door into the tombs of the Undermountain, in a room full of shambling zombies. Also, the party’s newest adventurer seems to be missing.
The sewer battle with the Tin Dog gang rages on, but for how long? And when it’s complete, what happens then? Also, nobody tell Pieter Dragonforge how bad his backpack smells.
There’s one place you never want to get in a knock-down, drag-out battle, and that’s the sewer. Unfortunately for Dragonforge & Associates, that’s just what has happened.
The press of bar bills and a lead on their search for Rutherford Urmbrusk convinces Dragonforge and Associates to return to adventuring, with a new member of their party and a whole new way to enter the Undermountain.
Hello, from a not-very-magic tavern! In this prelude to a new season of Dragonforge & Associates fourth-edition D&D adventure, we return to the Yawning Portal in the city of Waterdeep, just around the corner from the bugbear-owned, kobold-operated sandwich shop, and reunite with Pieter Dragonforge, Kay, and Flessa. They are on one of the scariest of missions: Namely, trying to find a new member of the party by interviewing three candidates. Who will join the party and who will be left behind?
Our adventurers reach the summit of the Ziggurat and have their final confrontation with the Defiler and a threat that could destroy all of Athas.
A fierce Mul gladiator (not Carlos) protects the interior of the ziggurat as our separated heroes struggle to reunite and defeat their enemies.
Eglath’s Angels conclude their encounter at the city gates and then journey deep into the city to explore a threatening ziggurat.
Our adventurers approach the gates and statues that mark the entry point to the long-dead city of Kaldinay. But a funny thing happened on the way to the Ziggurat…
Freshly out of their pit, our heroes regroup and journey back out into the desert to find the source of the shaquat beetles at Fort Melidor. Also, we learn what a group of cacti is called, and discover some strange things about elven musical instruments.
(This episode was initially released with the last 30 minutes of audio translated into Thri’Kreen. We’ve re-released it with the last 30 minutes in English, for our human listeners.)
The elemental magic-users seem to have what they want—Regdar’s crown—so you’d think the fight would be over. But our adventurers don’t know how to take “no” for an answer! There’s a dramatic transformation and an epic run that will go down in legend and song.
The underground battle for Regdar’s crown has begun! And before it’s over, things are going to get tough for our adventurers.
The battle with Carlos’s nemesis Morningstar is just the beginning of this adventure. There are accountants to terrorize and templars to badger! Will TPK turn into a courtroom drama? Anything’s possible with this group…
Combat combat combat! The battle with the spooky, speedy psionicist continues, and Carlos meets an old colleague and isn’t remotely happy to see him. Plus Regdar runs out of spells and Omlol hears the Good News about Carlos.
Our adventurers return after a long absence (for them, not you) and after remembering where they are, they spend a whole lot of time listening at silent doors and sneaking down hallways, while preparing for the ultimate battle in the basement of the pottery emporium.
We return to the world of Eglath’s Angels, as our adventurers continue to clear out rooms full of sleepy guards before attempting an assault on the source of the mind-control beetles.
Our Shocktober special concludes with more battles with plants, a speed run through the mansion as time is about to expire, some books, a chest, a Legend of Zelda reference, and more spoooooky ghosts.
Our Shocktober special continues with two of the most terrifying things you’ll ever find in a haunted mansion: books and plants.
In part two of our special four-part SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL, our adventurers attempt to get out of the cellar and into the mansion proper. What spooky spectres await them?
In part one of our special four-part SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL, DM’s Dan and Tony take a new crew of five adventurers on a trip to a spoooooky mansion. (They may not make it past the front door.)
Bedrooms, sleepy guards in loincloths, and a whole lot of confusion. Just another day at the office for our adventurers? Not hardly! Today’s the day they meet Chad.
Our adventurers are still in the midst of their midnight raid into the unaffiliated pottery outpost that they suspect to be the center of the operation that’s distributing mind-control beetles far and wide. In this episode, they battle some guards near the fiery pottery kilns, toss a coin a time or two, make a descent through a hidden shaft, and open up some sacks of flour. Plus, Carlos shows off a few of his special talents.
The adventurers return under cover of night to infiltrate the pottery outpost and uncover, at last, the source of the horrible beetle infestation! But do they want to try to kill guards who are just doing their jobs? Sometimes, when you’re fighting near a kiln, you start to wonder about killin’.
The adventurers return to Tyr and go to a pub, which is exactly what you’d expect. But this pub has a Mul with some very important info that he’d like to provide—if something terrible doesn’t happen to him first! Also, Regdar and some accomplices visit a notable pottery emporium.
In the aftermath of a horrible loss, our party struggles to stay alive against an onslaught of webbed and unwebbed Tembo. Is there any hope? Perhaps the slightest ruby glint…
With the caravan and the village of Red Obelisk behind them, and Scale back out of her protective bubble, our adventurers set off back to Tyr. Surely they wouldn’t have the bad luck to run into some dangerous, legendary bogeyman out in the desert, right? Right???
Our adventurers continue their near-naked escape from beetles and cages and defilers and other nasty things in the desert. Also, a certain bedroom containing someone’s purple pants might make a return.
Trapped in a cage, assaulted by horrendous mind-control beetles, what can our adventurers do to save themselves?
Our adventurers try to remember where they left their characters only to find themselves in the clutches of Bezrak and his terrible conspirators from House Shom!
Our adventurers and their caravan continue their battle with the massive horde of giths. This episode contains: Fighting! Dead guards! Outriders! More fighting! More dead guards! Also: A catapult (not pictured).
Omlol flees from his bar brawl! Will the party arrive in time to save him? Plus taunting from a caravan, bardic inspiration, Presta has bad luck, the catapult gets used (but not used well), and oh yeah, there’s this horde of Giths…
Our adventurers salve their wounds until the caravan reaches a desert settlement. Their suspicions about Bezrak lead them to engage in sleuthing—some of it successful, and the rest of it by Carlos. Also, local muscle is called, and there’s a bar fight!
You may ask yourself, why is this oasis so plentiful? And you may ask yourself, why is this lady so beautiful? And you may tell yourself, this is not a beautiful tent. And you may tell yourself, these are not beautiful rugs!
In the wake of Omlol, Katch’ka, and Regdar getting in trouble for their door-related shenanigans, Carlos, Scale and Presta take on the next round of searching the caravan for creepy beetles. Water is fetched! Bribes are paid! Wicker baskets are moved mysteriously! An oasis is spotted! And is it true love at last for Omlol? (Spoiler: It’s not. Not at all.)
The three interlopers who broke the master’s door are under investigation! Can Carlos, Scale and Presta aid in their defense? The management of the caravan tries to unravel the events of our previous episode, and everyone ends up even more confused. Plus, Presta learns an important lesson about vouching.
Paramount Pictures presents the Three Athas Brothers in their funniest film yet! Or to put it another way, Katch’ka and Omlol and Regdar find a whole bunch of wacky ways to get into trouble while the rest of the party is sleeping. Scale makes an uncomfortably enthusiastic new friend! Bowls of stew are ordered! Teak is shattered! And how that Kank got into my pajamas, I’ll never know…
Our adventurers meet their new boss and set out with the caravan into the desert. Regdar attempts to show the worth of his MBA. Katch’ka startles his new co-workers with his leaping. And a glint of sunlight off metal spotted nearby proves just too exciting to pass up.
We return to the strange world of Dark Sun and some of the characters from the first season of Total Party Kill! Fresh off their victory at the Face in the Stone, Carlos, Katch’ka, and Regdar are ready for a visit to the pub, but a familiar face stands in their way! Plus there’s a discussion of microeconomics, Carlos shows off his lack of social skills, we learn about warring trading houses and teak futures, and a few new traveling companions are introduced.
Our adventurers conclude their battle with Zarr and his (hob)goblin lackeys, and get some answers about Rutherford Urmbrusk and the Undermountain.
Love maps? Check out Tony and Dan’s complete map for this adventure.
See you in a couple of weeks for a return to our Dark Sun campaign, upgraded for D&D Fifth Edition, with some old friends and new faces!
January 14, 2015 • 1 hour • Dragonforge and Associates, Part 19 • Dan Moren and Tony Sindelar with Jason Snell, Erika Ensign, Serenity Caldwell, Georgia Dow, Steve Lutz, Monty Ashley and Sarah Barbour
Our adventurers continue their battle through the scorpion kennel, and then force a final confrontation with Zarr.
January 2, 2015 • 55 minutes • Dragonforge and Associates, part 18 • Dan Moren and Tony Sindelar with Erika Ensign, Sarah Barbour, Serenity Caldwell, Georgia Dow, Monty Ashley, Steve Lutz and Jason Snell
Kay returns, and our adventurers set out down a secret passage in pursuit of Zaar. Olestran finds a room he’s seen before. And one particular Goblin really drew the short straw.
December 11, 2014 • 58 minutes • Dragonforge and Associates, part 17 • Tony Sindelar and Dan Moren with Monty Ashley, Erika Ensign, Sarah Barbour, Georgia Dow, Serenity Caldwell, Jason Snell and Steve Lutz
Son, I say, son, it’s time for our adventures to square off against Zarr, the gentleman boss of the southern dungeons. Hexes will be hurled, party members will be blinded, quarries will be sought, and ballistas will roll! Can this be Sluggy the Spirit Slug’s finest hour?
Sluggy the spirit slug proves to be an amazing defense. Pieter Dragonforge gets it from all sides. Zaar is not impressed with the quality of his help. And the dungeon fills with more gas clouds than you’ll find in a Chipotle bathroom. It’s all just another day in the Undermountain.
Our party takes stock after defeating the Rage Drake. Olestran commando-crawls up a ramp. Pretty medallions are found. (And Steve’s memory of medallion-grabbing is validated.) We don’t check for traps! Zarr’s bedchamber is discovered. Tapestry class is in session. Riswynn takes a dangerous nap. And all the while, Peter stands at a door, just itching for a fight.
Hobgoblins and Drakes, oh my! Is this the boss battle Dragonforge and Associates has been waiting for? If you wanted to see us deploy strategy and roll a lot of dice, at long last you are going to get your wish.
Drowabunga! A mysterious stranger brings a fish feast to our hardy-but-exhausted adventurers. There’s much conversation, a little dice rolling, and Pieter throws a surprise party for an unwitting Kobold. Also, Kay and a different Kobold have a very nice conversation about trees and sandwiches.
October 31, 2014 • 52 minutes • Dragonforge and Associates, part 12 • Dan Moren and Tony Sindelar with Jason Snell, Georgia Dow, Steve Lutz, Erika Ensign, Sarah Barbour, Monty Ashley and Serenity Caldwell
Rats in a pit! Flessa climbs out, but the rats won’t be kept down! Our adventurers attack some vermin, meet a new friend, and inspect some rooms. Plus Olestran does some things with rope and some nice arrow tricks too.
Dragonforge and Associates come around a corner to discover an entirely new room full of entirely new dangers! Melech and Pieter are clumsy lummoxes. A surprising feature of the new room is revealed. And while Flessa thinks they’re pointy kitties, if they bite and swarm, they’re probably rats. #ratfacts!
Our adventurers battle some goblins and ponder a stack of rats in the corner of a hallway. A clever goblin plan to trap our adventurers in an enclosed space has an apparently unanticipated side-effect. Pieter gets cold feet. Olestran rolls a critical smell. And at the end, we take a break for some talk about beer.
In this episode, our adventurers make a gigantic mess in a Kobold lab. A Kobold intern proffers his resume. Someone gets sparkly, like a Twilight vampire. Undermountain cubicles are disrupted. We mispronounce many words. Plus: Secret recipes learned at Fictional Kobold Science University!
Our party confronts spooky floating bones above a spooky throne. Pieter covets a dead man’s hat. Olestran makes a nifty trick shot that nobody else wants him to make. Doors are checked. Sandwiches are promised. This episode also serves as the series pilot for “CSI: Undermountain.”
What’s behind the door? Our adventurers discover a sleeping guard and a collection of prisoners alive and dead. When Flessa’s not trying to blame it on her rusty dagger, Pieter is consulting Paladinpedia about whether it’s okay to kill a bugbear. Speaking of bugbears, we have a feeling you’re about to have a favorite non-player character…
Dragonforge and Associates continues its clean-up of the Goblin and Kobold infested room. Flessa gets out her hammer, which leads to a series of jokes you might expect. A prisoner is rescued, and a door is opened. Melech is good at orbs, everyone does the Funky Diagonal, and a Kobold Worm Priest has a really confusing day.
At last, our party meets up with actual, moving foes! Attempts at diplomacy ensue. Pillars are used as convenient forms of cover. And there’s a tiny personal tragedy involving a model train.
Dragonforge and Associates continue their exploration of the eastern half of a corridor lined with statues. Pieter stands up. Flessa does some acrobatic moves. Riswynn professes her love of books. Melech lights up a statue. But will they finally reach the end of the hallway?
Dragonforge and Associates reach the bottom of the pit in their large basket and discover the horrors beneath. A survivor is interrogated. Bodies are thrown in the basket. A door is detected, its building materials recognized, and a corridor full of statues is discovered! Also our adventurers consider whether or not to deploy the “erosion strategy,” and Pieter takes a seat and ponders his choices.
It’s time for a new adventure with new DMs and a new party! When we meet Dragonforge and Associates they are hanging out on some bean bag chairs in Mr. Dragonforge’s basement in a comfortable suburb of Waterdeep. But a strange note arrives and adventure calls them away to the Yawning Portal!
Your new party (left to right, pixel art by Jesse Lane), is:
- Pieter - Human Paladin (played by Jason Snell)
- Melech - Tiefling Wizard (played by Monty Ashley)
- Olestran - Elf Ranger (played by Steve Lutz)
- Kat - Half-elf Druid (played by Serenity Caldwell)
- Riswynn - Dwarf Cleric (played by Sarah Barbour)
- Flessa - Human Rogue (played by Erika Ensign)
Our dungeons master are Dan Moren and Tony Sindelar.
The adventure of the Temple of the Face in the Stone reaches its conclusion! But will our adventurers live to fight another day? Death-saving throws will be failed! Skill checks will be rolled! You’ve come this far, you might as well listen to one more episode with these knuckleheads.
(This marks the end of this season of Total Party Kill. We’ll be back in a month or so with a shortish adventure with new characters, new DMs, and a new setting. But fear not! We’ll return to this group of characters again in the future.)
Our adventurers take stock, meet a new fungus-covered friend, discover the fate of the Red Cord mercenaries, and make their way back to the entrance to the temple, where they discover there’s one more battle left to fight.
Our Carlos-caused battle with the mushroom people continues. Nobody will escape unscathed! Doors will open and close. A retreat will be sounded. One member of the group will be revealed as a macabre MacGyver. And we learn that when you gaze into the mushroom, the mushroom looks back into you.
Our adventurers recover from their horrible wounds inflicted by the silkworm, take a rest, and then find the final room in this temple too intriguing to ignore. It’s all Carlos’s fault—he runs in where intelligent people fear to tread, and gets a face full of mushroom.
Our adventurers battle against the giant silkworm at the heart of the temple, and their lives are on the line. No, seriously, unless one of them makes exactly the right dice roll at the right time, they’re all gonna die.
Carlos is at the bottom of the pit, our party is standing in a doorway, and a giant silkworm is about to strike! This isn’t going to go well, isn’t it? In fact, Carlos, you might want to just stay down there in the pit. It’s safer down there.
Our adventurers continue their battle with Nala the Girl-liath and Daroc the Mul, who is even more unpleasant than Carlos. There’s also some exploring, Katchka makes critical rolls for nature and listening, curiously shaped mushrooms are discovered, and stick around for our terrifying cliffhanger!
The battle with the scaled guardians, zombies, and wispy wraiths continues amid the dead bodies and braziers. Asteron eats a valuable gem. We debate the pronunciation of gith. Carlos gets caught thinking about something other than his job at just the wrong time. And we learn a valuable lesson about not letting your Minotaur do the negotiating for you.
Our adventurers investigate snake chalk art, disturb some funeral urns, and discover that sometimes a room full of dead bodies is just a room full of dead bodies… just not this time.
Our adventurers enter a room dominated by powerful winds. (But enough about that burrito Regdar ate back at the tavern.) A creepy whispering fountain and creepier whirling dust devils can’t be good, right? Also, Carlos gets really angry and attacks a statue.
Our dungeon crawl through the desert temple continues. We poke some weird fungus with a stick and then investigate a room containing a very old knight. It’s like that scene in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade,” except it may be our adventurers who have chosen… poorly. Again.
This is the first “new” episode of TPK. Older episodes originally appeared in the feed of The Incomparable and have been retconned into TPK episodes for new listeners.
The stone temple finally comes into view, but it’s protected by two horrible obelisks that shoot lightning bolts.
A new adventurer joins the party, and everyone experiences a terrifying journey through the sandstorm vortex.
The battle by the sandstorm vortex continues, with Carlos on the move and unpleasant Tareks doing damage to our adventurers.
Amid a brutal battle in a market area, our brave adventurers try to hide behind a hot dog cart. It works as well as you might expect.
Introducing our party of five adventurers in the desert realm of Athas, as they begin their quest and get in a fight with some nasty dwarves. It doesn’t go well.