The Incomparable

466 Don’t Feed the Bulettes

While the party explores so. many. corridors, Carlos doesn’t have an inside voice, Omlöl keeps walkin’, Regdar doesn’t like it when Carlos winks, Zotasha is interested in swirly purple, Kat’chka talks to monstrosities every day, and Shara recognizes Regdar’s hat.

465 I Don’t Talk to Pizzas

As the party battles a whole family of hook horrors, Eglath’s Angels suddenly become competent, efficient, and effective. Scott wonders if he’s in the wrong Zoom.

464 Capering Mud Men

As the party keeps on truckin’, Regdar chews on a stalagbite, Kat’chka invents the frisbee, Omlöl continues learning about himself, Zotasha wants to go mudding, Shara is in search of something shiny, and Carlos ain’t afraid of no crystals. Oh, and Scott reminds us we’re all just skeletons deep inside.

463 Summon Greater Landscaper

As the party continues into the tunnels, Omlöl communes with nature, Carlos looks for a seam, Zotasha doesn’t trust hot mud, Kat’chka discovers weird things, and Shara doesn’t want to levitate a pebble but Regdar does—as long as it’s glowing. Oh, and Scott invents a baby cave.

462 Weekend at Keltar’s

In this episode, Carlos hears roaring and gurgling, Kat’chka puts the bug in bugaloo, Omlöl likes running toward danger, Regdar runs near danger, Shara doesn’t go around the bend, and Zotasha is yellopathic. Oh, and Scott puts up with all of it.

461 Something Dumb Is About to Happen

Welcome back to the blood-soaked sands of Athas! Door Dash your Pegasus and throw your money on the floor because these weirdos are level 10 now. You might think that means fewer hijinks and less nonsense, but you would be very very wrong.

377 Live, Laugh, Lava

In this season finale, Eglath’s Angels almost saved the world from a very decentralized cult.

376 Salamanders from the South!

Flamin’ hot salamanders and suggestive art.

375 Lava Hurts

When you have no thoughts or plans and are surrounded by lava and incompetence, how much worse could it get?

374 Everybody out of the Cloud

We camped on a butt because we didn’t watch the floor.

373 Totally Capacitated

Regdar is killin’ it. Goth Shara has ghost whales.

372 Cinna and Bon

Kat’chka plays peek-a-boo. Zotasha threatens to turn this Phantom Caravan around.

371 Minotaur Sandwich

A lot of people running, with Minotaurs on the move.

370 Affirmations and Elevators

Please note: Total Party Kill is now a philosophy and life-coaching podcast. We hope you enjoy this change in direction.

369 A Bad Use of Carlos

Eglaths’ Angels (Carlos, Kat’chka, Omlol, Regdar, Shara, and Zotasha) are back for another season, and they start it off by beatboxing on a disc!

341 Goodbye Plunging Torrents!

In this season finale, these knuckleheads with carved foreheads (and the two without them) leave the Plunging Torrents and try to decide which evil cult to tackle next (season).

340 Three Mimics in a Trenchcoat

Spiteful adventurers attack babies. Bitey, wormy babies.

339 Four Halflings in a Robe

Baby Chuul doot doot dootdoot dootdoot Baby Chuul doot doot dootdoot dootdoot

338 Everybody Hurts

Doin’ the wave with a floppy Halfling.

337 Soul Proprietorship

Lots of water, few hootenannies, and a wet Halfling.

336 Shaggy Kank Story

Out of the octopus’s garden and into the ghast room.

335 Follow That Carlos!

Zotasha tells fancy lies, and everyone tries not to burst Carlos’s bubble.

334 We’ve Been Everywhere—and Done Very Little

While infiltrating a multi-level cult, Carlos rides a water ride and incites a very slow-speed chase.

333 Grells, Grells, Grells

This whole episode is a quest for rest.

332 Step Three Prophet

Don’t pick the door with a bunch of dead corpses behind it. Traps are bad. Let sleeping sarcophagi lie.

331 Frosted Demon

You know those D&D sessions where at the end everyone turns to one player and says “What the hell, dude?!” Yeah, this is one of those.

330 Regdar’s Demons

Two dudes, a crab, a pizza place, and a ziggurat. But this crab is not answering his emails.

329 Invisible Flying Ooze

Without a doubt, the greatest distraction we’ve ever used.

328 We’re Specter Inspectors!

Is this a ghost I see before me?

327 He Stole My Hat!

Who’s watching Shara? Nobody’s watching Shara.

326 Gargoyles Gonna Gargoyle

Pushy gargoyles and mind bullets!

325 New Plan, Kill Everyone

Welcome to the Umber Hulk Speakeasy.

324 Lich, Please!

Do NOT open that door.

323 I Open the Door

Shara opens doors. And closes them.

322 It Was Like This When We Got Here

Eglath’s Angels are back! Remember the bloody sands of Athas? When we last left Carlos, Katchka, Omlöl, Shara, Regdar, and Zotasha, they had just discovered the devastation evil cultists wrought on the town of Freedom. Will they catch the cultists? Certainly not in this episode!

190 Tepanyaki Vampire

This mini-season of Eglath’s Angels concludes with a deadly vampire battle, a powerful wizard, and a talking hammer.

189 A Hug in the Darkness

Johnny Nine is alive! Our friends and their newfound Golem navigate turnstiles, boiling mud, and darkness. What’s in the darkness, and why does it want to hug Eglath’s Angels… to death?

188 Golem Storage Area

Three dummies smash orbs in a locked room. Three bored adventurers wait in a hallway. Then there’s a riddle involving a flesh golem.

187 Too Many Orbs

Our mini-season of Eglath’s Angels continues with a series of curious decisions. Flesh golems? No thank you! Creepy room full of suspended colored orbs? Yes please! And why do a dumb thing once when you can do it twice?

186 Not Much of a Mountain

Eglath’s Angels return! Your original crew of TPK knuckleheads is back, but they’re not on Athas anymore. In this special mini-season, they’ve been swept onto a different plane, where they’ll play in a classic D&D module! But first, Carlos attacks a tree.

154 Yan-C-Bin Expecting Me?

The third season of Eglath’s Angels comes to a conclusion! The fate of the Howling Hatred cult is revealed! Omlol takes a journey entirely unlike any we’ve seen before! Many members of the party are in grave danger! And for those who survive, what is their next destination?

153 Regdar’s Unregulated School of Magic

A room full of mushrooms (again?) teaches our adventurers a valuable lesson about… something? It’s finally time to meet the leaders of the windy cult. And despite Regdar’s best advice to refrain, Carlos shows off an extremely unexpected talent.

152 My Mom Raised Me Not to Lie to a Bird

Kenku are jerks. Our new friend is very wise for an undercover cultist. Our adventurers need to decide if they’re an ambulance service or not. (They’re not.)

[If your episode sounds like Aleen is out of sync, please delete this episode and then re-download it! We had to re-release the episode to fix this audio problem.]

151 Hello from the Tragic Cavern

Presta is dead and her companions are all pretty horribly wounded, except for Carlos, who seems perfectly fine. Can this group of adventurers find their way out of these confounded caverns before they lose all hope? It may take an escape by, as you might expect with this group, a path entirely unexpected by the Dungeon Master.

139 For Presta!

Battered and bloodied, our adventurers really want to be anywhere but where they are. How did we get in this mess, anyway? And is there any chance any of them can get out of it?

138 Oh Man, My Mouth Tastes Like Goodberry!

When you’re at the bottom of a bottomless pit and you’ve got no hit points left, who you gonna call? Mr. Goodberry! And he… actually may not be any help. Good luck!

137 Artisanal Gore

In which our adventurers break stuff and fall in a bottomless pit.

136 Ha Ha! You’re In a Cult!

Big wheel keep on turning, Carlos keep on running. We’re flute inspectors.

135 Turn Left at the Shallow Graves

Heroic rescues, a murder hallway, and the big wheels keep on turning. You know, it’s just another day in Athas.

134 The Best Diplomacy Ever

More Bugbears, more magic, more problems. Our adventurers make a few dozen tactical errors. But Carlos just wants to give diplomacy some time to work.

133 Got Kank Milk?

In this episode Carlos wanders off once again, and once again nobody stops him. The healing properties of Kank Milk and its marketing opportunities are explored. Also, Heeeeeeere’s a Bugbear!

132 Famed Flautists

Our adventurers abandon the Feathergale Spire and find an underground location in which they can continue to spread lies about who they are and what they’re inspecting.

131 Not All Manticores

In this one there’s an awful lot of skulking around the Feathergale spire. Plus, who doesn’t love a hunt?

130 An Auspicious Day

Our party makes its way to Feathergale Spire, where it turns out that it is the anniversary of the founding of the Feathergale Knights. Time for a big party! With appetizers! And probably trouble. We’re like that.

129 Tattered Gray Cloak

The Feathergale Spire is a tempting building on the horizon. A dead body in a ravine intrigues Carlos. You know, the usual.

128 Freedom!

Our adventurers haven’t been run out of town before, but this time it finally happens. Then they go on to Freedom, a town founded by slaves, and investigate the desert wastes in search of more clues to the fate of the missing caravan.

127 To the Sinkhole!

We’re quarry inspectors, actually. (This episode is not endorsed by the Kled Chamber of Commerce.)

126 The Mul Who Cried ‘Boy’

It’s time to investigate the place where Carlos (who styles himself a hero) saved that kid, and then we’ll take a journey to the Cave of Floating Rocks to learn about the history of mining accidents on Athas!

125 He’s Dead, J’ym

In the wake of Carlos opening a door that should have remained closed, the Bringers of Woe have come to bring the pain to our adventurers. Not everyone with a name will make it out alive!

124 Rat Sandwich

The adventurers investigate the underground complex beneath Kled, turning up a magic rock and a serious vermin infestation problem. Also, Carlos carefully studies a closed door and nobody notices until it’s too late.

123 A Taste of Kled

In this exciting return to the world of Dark Sun and Eglath’s Angels, pottery is purchased and giant sinkholes are investigated.

117 Netflix and Kill

Omlol learns an important lesson about asking doors and chests if they are mimics… the hard way! Then our adventurers return to Kled to have interesting conversations with uninteresting townspeople.

116 We’re Hotel Inspectors

After a little more time annoying people in Kled, our adventurers head to the famed Trickle Rock Cave, where there is a little bit of trickling and a little bit of danger!

115 Party in the Front, Stables in the Back

Our party invades the city of Kled, splits the party, starts a hootenanny, makes new friends, and does what they do best—which is apparently lying unnecessarily?

114 A Chip Off the Old Rock

We were in the desert
Everybody had matching tattoos
Somebody rolled into our flock
And we all saw a rock
It wasn’t a rock
It was a rock monster
Rock monster

113 Intimidate the Wind

In a bit of trouble with wind and templars, the adventurers of Eglath’s Angels take on a new mission to get themselves out of the city of Tyr for a little while. Turns out they’re just as bad at lying as they always were. And a new friend joins the party! But once they’re out in the desert, they’ll prove themselves to be cunning warriors… right?

75 Axe Punch His Face

Our adventurers reach the summit of the Ziggurat and have their final confrontation with the Defiler and a threat that could destroy all of Athas.

74 Unguarded Crack

A fierce Mul gladiator (not Carlos) protects the interior of the ziggurat as our separated heroes struggle to reunite and defeat their enemies.

73 Two Muls, a Defiler, and a Beetle Place

Eglath’s Angels conclude their encounter at the city gates and then journey deep into the city to explore a threatening ziggurat.

72 Magical Selfie Stick

Our adventurers approach the gates and statues that mark the entry point to the long-dead city of Kaldinay. But a funny thing happened on the way to the Ziggurat…

71 Strumming His Piccolo

Freshly out of their pit, our heroes regroup and journey back out into the desert to find the source of the shaquat beetles at Fort Melidor. Also, we learn what a group of cacti is called, and discover some strange things about elven musical instruments.

(This episode was initially released with the last 30 minutes of audio translated into Thri’Kreen. We’ve re-released it with the last 30 minutes in English, for our human listeners.)

70 Ways to Not Be a Beetle

The elemental magic-users seem to have what they want—Regdar’s crown—so you’d think the fight would be over. But our adventurers don’t know how to take “no” for an answer! There’s a dramatic transformation and an epic run that will go down in legend and song.

69 Epic Hat Destiny

The underground battle for Regdar’s crown has begun! And before it’s over, things are going to get tough for our adventurers.

68 Carlos, Have You Learned Nothing?

The battle with Carlos’s nemesis Morningstar is just the beginning of this adventure. There are accountants to terrorize and templars to badger! Will TPK turn into a courtroom drama? Anything’s possible with this group…

67 Is This Your Card?

Combat combat combat! The battle with the spooky, speedy psionicist continues, and Carlos meets an old colleague and isn’t remotely happy to see him. Plus Regdar runs out of spells and Omlol hears the Good News about Carlos.

66 Descriptions & Doors

Our adventurers return after a long absence (for them, not you) and after remembering where they are, they spend a whole lot of time listening at silent doors and sneaking down hallways, while preparing for the ultimate battle in the basement of the pottery emporium.

65 In That Trunk Is Some Funk

We return to the world of Eglath’s Angels, as our adventurers continue to clear out rooms full of sleepy guards before attempting an assault on the source of the mind-control beetles.

60 Bedroom Farce

Bedrooms, sleepy guards in loincloths, and a whole lot of confusion. Just another day at the office for our adventurers? Not hardly! Today’s the day they meet Chad.

59 The Murder Chute

Our adventurers are still in the midst of their midnight raid into the unaffiliated pottery outpost that they suspect to be the center of the operation that’s distributing mind-control beetles far and wide. In this episode, they battle some guards near the fiery pottery kilns, toss a coin a time or two, make a descent through a hidden shaft, and open up some sacks of flour. Plus, Carlos shows off a few of his special talents.

58 Unaffiliated Pottery Outpost

The adventurers return under cover of night to infiltrate the pottery outpost and uncover, at last, the source of the horrible beetle infestation! But do they want to try to kill guards who are just doing their jobs? Sometimes, when you’re fighting near a kiln, you start to wonder about killin’.

57 Full House

The adventurers return to Tyr and go to a pub, which is exactly what you’d expect. But this pub has a Mul with some very important info that he’d like to provide—if something terrible doesn’t happen to him first! Also, Regdar and some accomplices visit a notable pottery emporium.

56 Professional Monkey Paw Operator

In the aftermath of a horrible loss, our party struggles to stay alive against an onslaught of webbed and unwebbed Tembo. Is there any hope? Perhaps the slightest ruby glint…

55 Too Many Tembo

With the caravan and the village of Red Obelisk behind them, and Scale back out of her protective bubble, our adventurers set off back to Tyr. Surely they wouldn’t have the bad luck to run into some dangerous, legendary bogeyman out in the desert, right? Right???

54 Beetles in Jars

Our adventurers continue their near-naked escape from beetles and cages and defilers and other nasty things in the desert. Also, a certain bedroom containing someone’s purple pants might make a return.

53 1d8 Beetles

Trapped in a cage, assaulted by horrendous mind-control beetles, what can our adventurers do to save themselves?

52 Dwarven Bards!

Our adventurers try to remember where they left their characters only to find themselves in the clutches of Bezrak and his terrible conspirators from House Shom!

51 That’s So Catapult

Our adventurers and their caravan continue their battle with the massive horde of giths. This episode contains: Fighting! Dead guards! Outriders! More fighting! More dead guards! Also: A catapult (not pictured).

50 Swan Song

Omlol flees from his bar brawl! Will the party arrive in time to save him? Plus taunting from a caravan, bardic inspiration, Presta has bad luck, the catapult gets used (but not used well), and oh yeah, there’s this horde of Giths…

49 Do Giants Stack?

Our adventurers salve their wounds until the caravan reaches a desert settlement. Their suspicions about Bezrak lead them to engage in sleuthing—some of it successful, and the rest of it by Carlos. Also, local muscle is called, and there’s a bar fight!

48 Chitin’s Gonna Ichor

You may ask yourself, why is this oasis so plentiful? And you may ask yourself, why is this lady so beautiful? And you may tell yourself, this is not a beautiful tent. And you may tell yourself, these are not beautiful rugs!

47 War on Rugs

In the wake of Omlol, Katch’ka, and Regdar getting in trouble for their door-related shenanigans, Carlos, Scale and Presta take on the next round of searching the caravan for creepy beetles. Water is fetched! Bribes are paid! Wicker baskets are moved mysteriously! An oasis is spotted! And is it true love at last for Omlol? (Spoiler: It’s not. Not at all.)

46 A Door Killed My Brother

The three interlopers who broke the master’s door are under investigation! Can Carlos, Scale and Presta aid in their defense? The management of the caravan tries to unravel the events of our previous episode, and everyone ends up even more confused. Plus, Presta learns an important lesson about vouching.

45 A Night on the Caravan

Paramount Pictures presents the Three Athas Brothers in their funniest film yet! Or to put it another way, Katch’ka and Omlol and Regdar find a whole bunch of wacky ways to get into trouble while the rest of the party is sleeping. Scale makes an uncomfortably enthusiastic new friend! Bowls of stew are ordered! Teak is shattered! And how that Kank got into my pajamas, I’ll never know…

44 A Hat and Some Bugs

Our adventurers meet their new boss and set out with the caravan into the desert. Regdar attempts to show the worth of his MBA. Katch’ka startles his new co-workers with his leaping. And a glint of sunlight off metal spotted nearby proves just too exciting to pass up.

43 0 Days Since Last Death

We return to the strange world of Dark Sun and some of the characters from the first season of Total Party Kill! Fresh off their victory at the Face in the Stone, Carlos, Katch’ka, and Regdar are ready for a visit to the pub, but a familiar face stands in their way! Plus there’s a discussion of microeconomics, Carlos shows off his lack of social skills, we learn about warring trading houses and teak futures, and a few new traveling companions are introduced.

23 Spooky Hat Club

The adventure of the Temple of the Face in the Stone reaches its conclusion! But will our adventurers live to fight another day? Death-saving throws will be failed! Skill checks will be rolled! You’ve come this far, you might as well listen to one more episode with these knuckleheads.

(This marks the end of this season of Total Party Kill. We’ll be back in a month or so with a shortish adventure with new characters, new DMs, and a new setting. But fear not! We’ll return to this group of characters again in the future.)

22 Who Knows Origami?

Our adventurers take stock, meet a new fungus-covered friend, discover the fate of the Red Cord mercenaries, and make their way back to the entrance to the temple, where they discover there’s one more battle left to fight.

21 Warlocks and Door Locks

Our Carlos-caused battle with the mushroom people continues. Nobody will escape unscathed! Doors will open and close. A retreat will be sounded. One member of the group will be revealed as a macabre MacGyver. And we learn that when you gaze into the mushroom, the mushroom looks back into you.

20 Do You Know the Mushroom Man?

Our adventurers recover from their horrible wounds inflicted by the silkworm, take a rest, and then find the final room in this temple too intriguing to ignore. It’s all Carlos’s fault—he runs in where intelligent people fear to tread, and gets a face full of mushroom.

18 Pick Out a Pretty Headstone

Our adventurers battle against the giant silkworm at the heart of the temple, and their lives are on the line. No, seriously, unless one of them makes exactly the right dice roll at the right time, they’re all gonna die.

17 The Fightin’ Sand Rams

Carlos is at the bottom of the pit, our party is standing in a doorway, and a giant silkworm is about to strike! This isn’t going to go well, isn’t it? In fact, Carlos, you might want to just stay down there in the pit. It’s safer down there.

16 Let the Best Mul Win

Our adventurers continue their battle with Nala the Girl-liath and Daroc the Mul, who is even more unpleasant than Carlos. There’s also some exploring, Katchka makes critical rolls for nature and listening, curiously shaped mushrooms are discovered, and stick around for our terrifying cliffhanger!

15 Wraith Relations

The battle with the scaled guardians, zombies, and wispy wraiths continues amid the dead bodies and braziers. Asteron eats a valuable gem. We debate the pronunciation of gith. Carlos gets caught thinking about something other than his job at just the wrong time. And we learn a valuable lesson about not letting your Minotaur do the negotiating for you.

14 Don’t Lick the Serpent

Our adventurers investigate snake chalk art, disturb some funeral urns, and discover that sometimes a room full of dead bodies is just a room full of dead bodies… just not this time.

13 Plaintive Moos

Our adventurers enter a room dominated by powerful winds. (But enough about that burrito Regdar ate back at the tavern.) A creepy whispering fountain and creepier whirling dust devils can’t be good, right? Also, Carlos gets really angry and attacks a statue.

12 The Orb Was Obvious

Our dungeon crawl through the desert temple continues. We poke some weird fungus with a stick and then investigate a room containing a very old knight. It’s like that scene in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade,” except it may be our adventurers who have chosen… poorly. Again.

This is the first “new” episode of TPK. Older episodes originally appeared in the feed of The Incomparable and have been retconned into TPK episodes for new listeners.

11 Blazing Skeletons

Skeletons and salt zombies! Oh my!

10 Danger’s My Middle Name

A choice between two different magical fountains, plus some zombies and an angry skeleton.

9 Swimming Lessons

Obelisks with lightning bolts and a surprising encounter with marine life.

8 Torn Between Two Obelisks

The stone temple finally comes into view, but it’s protected by two horrible obelisks that shoot lightning bolts.

7 Enter the Minotaur

A new adventurer joins the party, and everyone experiences a terrifying journey through the sandstorm vortex.

6 The Trouble With Eglath

Our adventurers finish their battle at the whirlwind, but at a somewhat horrible price.

5 Sun, Sand, and Tareks

The battle by the sandstorm vortex continues, with Carlos on the move and unpleasant Tareks doing damage to our adventurers.

4 Bone Javelin

Glass spiders and a horrific sandstorm vex our Dark Sun adventurers.

3 Kank Merchant

After waking up in an alley, our adventurers outfit themselves for a trip deep into the desert.

2 We’ve Been In Worse Situations

Amid a brutal battle in a market area, our brave adventurers try to hide behind a hot dog cart. It works as well as you might expect.

1 Meet the Party

Introducing our party of five adventurers in the desert realm of Athas, as they begin their quest and get in a fight with some nasty dwarves. It doesn’t go well.