526 It’s Not Larceny, It’s Financial Planning
Things take a turn toward the 8-bit in a new saga for our adventurers, who are tasked with travelling inside a book to…do some murdering? Join them as they venture into a town where everyone answers to “NPC”, the aesthetic leans toward “blocky”, and everyone loves mead!
Previous Episodes
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October 7, 2025 — Candlekeep - Zikran’s Zephyrean Tome, Part 7522 A Fluid Situation
The adventure concludes with friendly fire, double-grapples, and a whole lotta rules. Then we close the book on the whole thing.
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September 30, 2025 — Candlekeep - Zikran’s Zephyrean Tome, Part 6521 Third Eye’s Blind
This episode’s highlights are wet stairs and a bad plan.
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September 23, 2025 — Candlekeep - Zikran’s Zephyrean Tome, Part 5520 Sad Ghost Seduction
Classic TTRPG tropes covered in this episode: a player trying to seduce an NPC, players fixating on one random room, and players wanting to use their skills for intra-party nonsense instead of getting things done.
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September 16, 2025 — Candlekeep - Zikran’s Zephyrean Tome, Part 4519 Turtle Dome
It’s so annoying when someone knocks on your door in the middle of the night.
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September 9, 2025 — Candlekeep - Zikran’s Zephyrean Tome, Part 3518 Infinite Supply of Crab Juice
This episode has less chaos, but more dragon.
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September 2, 2025 — Candlekeep - Zikran’s Zephyrean Tome, Part 2517 Never Bring a Dolphin to a Ghost Fight
The chaos continues with a greedy rogue, a breath-holding Tortle carrying a Gnome, a swimming Centaur carrying no one, a generous Tiefling, and a totally ineffective dolphin.
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August 26, 2025 — Candlekeep - Zikran’s Zephyrean Tome, Part 1516 Tureen Full of Djinn
A chaotic crew assembles to free a head from a book.
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May 20, 2025 — Candlekeep - Kandlekeep Dekonstruktion, Part 3502 Cultists Are Not Made of Robot
Time is ticking away, and our heroes don’t have much time to save Candlekeep from certain destruktion by … rocket ship tower? Will they make it?
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May 13, 2025 — Candlekeep - Kandlekeep Dekonstruktion, Part 2501 Throwing Good Hit Points After Bad
More than a year later, our players (virtually) come together again to try to save Candlekeep Library!
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May 6, 2025 — Candlekeep - Kandlekeep Dekonstruktion, Part 1500 Alpaca Macadamia Nuts
To celebrate our 500th episode, we bring you the only TPK recorded entirely in person! It’s an extra-long session recorded around a table, complete with the sounds of dice rolling, soda-pop cans opening, and chairs scraping the floor as people move around. The only way to feel more like you’re there is to watch the 360° version on a VR headset!
This episode kicks off another Candlekeep mystery in which N’iss, Naiasa, Valenthe, Merdri, and Quewaris investigate a trembling tower.
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April 29, 2025 — Candlekeep - Lore of Lurue, Part 6499 Math Is Fun When You’re Not a Werewolf
In this final episode of The Lore of Lurue, Lovyn wants to leave, Naiasa hides under a corpse, Hermioneigh is like a really great dance troupe, Frittat’ha gets back on the horse, and Lonewalker hesitates to touch the book. Tony is a generous dungeon master, and anyone who suggests otherwise is a bad person.
Oh, and listener secret_gaygent SAVES THE DAY.
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April 22, 2025 — Candlekeep - Lore of Lurue, Part 5498 Restore Bookness to the Book
In this episode, Lovyn scampers out of the rage zone, Frittat’ha is finally tanking, Lonewalker does a little deelybob, Naiasa has secret agent vibes, and Hermioneigh shoves a berry in someone’s mouth. Oh, and Tony doesn’t want to call the wargs by name.
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April 15, 2025 — Candlekeep - Lore of Lurue, Part 4497 Kreeeee! (Blood)
In this episode, Naiasa does some John Woo action film moves, Hermioneigh makes a carbon copy of herself, Lonewalker approaches the grick, Frittat’ha is careful not to set her friends on fire, and Lovyn wants to know if there are still cupcakes. Oh, and Tony makes bird noises.
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April 8, 2025 — Candlekeep - Lore of Lurue, Part 3496 A Disturbance in the Elk
In this episode, Lovyn gets his face ate; Naiasa makes poor life choices that are tactically unsound across a range of dimensions; Fritatt’ha bellows into a beak; Hermioneigh struggles to hit; and Lonewalker loses his elk. Oh, and Tony doesn’t know cupcakes.
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April 1, 2025 — Candlekeep - Lore of Lurue, Part 2495 Technicolor Owl
In this episode, Frittat’ha is still looking for her brother; Lonewalker chats with a tree; Hermioneigh doesn’t need a whole body’s worth of blood; Naiasa knocks on a suspicious door; and Lovyn looks down a suspicious well. Oh, and Tony doesn’t know trees.
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March 25, 2025 — Candlekeep - Lore of Lurue, Part 1494 A Heap of Drunken Satyrs
In the first episode of a new Candlekeep adventure, Naiasa is down to party; Hermioneigh whips it good; Lovyn does some stylish stabbing; Lonewalker tries to walk alone; and Frittath’a just wants to eat out of a tree stump. Oh, and Tony did not bring enough berzerkers.
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December 10, 2024 — Candlekeep - Sarah of Yellowcrest Manor, Part 6479 Friendship Bracelets!
This episode wraps up Sarah of Yellowcrest Manor with these lessons: Once you reach the Big Bad, you should just set him on fire. A surprise round is one stab, one fire. And most importantly, rule number one of identity theft is “hide the body.”
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December 3, 2024 — Candlekeep - Sarah of Yellowcrest Manor, Part 5478 Sleep Without Trace
This week’s lessons: After you break into a house, you look around. Night is the optimal time for evil. Small farming towns have no commercial district. And most importantly, murder is not a complete plan.
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November 26, 2024 — Candlekeep - Sarah of Yellowcrest Manor, Part 4477 It’s Earthquake Weather
This week’s lessons: Geography is just map history. Murder holes are surprisingly expensive. If nobody’s heard of you, you’re not an A-list cult. And most importantly, the best kind of heist is when the players steal the campaign from the DM.
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November 19, 2024 — Candlekeep - Sarah of Yellowcrest Manor, Part 3476 Never Turn Your Back on an Awning
The good news: Paulie invents “pants of holding,” and N’iss invents “napkidding” (reverse kidnapping). The bad news: due to a small earthquake and a large centaur, the horses are down.
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November 12, 2024 — Candlekeep - Sarah of Yellowcrest Manor, Part 2475 CSI Waterdeep
The Candlekeep crew heads to Waterdeep to meet William Faerl, an elf with a helluva hat, and to play “Good Cop, Good Cop, Neutral Cop, Bad Cop, Bad Cop.” Or is it “Good Cop, Bad Cop, Horse Cop, Little Cop, Lizard Cop”? No, no, of course it’s “Good Cop, Bad Cop, Big Cop, Little Cop, Fake Ghost Cop”!
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November 5, 2024 — Candlekeep - Sarah of Yellowcrest Manor, Part 1474 Open and Shut Case
Another Candlekeep mystery begins with—you guessed it—more book problems for Frittat’ha, Hermioneigh, Naiasa, N’iss, and Paulie.
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April 30, 2024 — Candlekeep - The Price of Beauty, Part 7447 A Showoff Assassin
In the final episode of The Price of Beauty, the adventurers take the battle to the hags…when they aren’t repeatedly pulling Townley from the abyss.
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April 23, 2024 — Candlekeep - The Price of Beauty, Part 6446 Murder Armoire
Our heroes are stuck in a hallway, and their only means of defense are arson and ice rinks with a dash of desperation.
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April 19, 2024 — Candlekeep - The Price of Beauty, Part 5445 Auburn or Blauburn
The party reunites, beats up some statues, and encounters language barriers in their quest to save a scared Dwarf from a questionable wellness clinic.
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April 9, 2024 — Candlekeep - The Price of Beauty, Part 4444 Marinara Mimosa
Jasper meets a kobold, Lonewalker befriends a gorgon, and they may unlock the secret of the spa…but at what cost?
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April 2, 2024 — Candlekeep - The Price of Beauty, Part 3443 Spataumatons
Relaxation turns into suspicion as the party learns more about a spa whose main product is secrecy.
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March 26, 2024 — Candlekeep - The Price of Beauty, Part 2442 Spa Day
Our heroes have a spa day, but behind the incense and wind chimes lies danger.
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March 19, 2024 — Candlekeep - The Price of Beauty, Part 1441 We’re Big Readers Here
A group of misfit adventurers climb through a book-shaped portal and into a suspiciously lovely spa on a quest to find a Dwarven librarian.
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February 6, 2024 — Candlekeep - A Deep and Creeping Darkness, Part 6435 That’s Not a Boomstick
Our heroes reconvene, and the smackdown begins with spikes and teleporting and murderously rough terrain! Oh my!
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January 30, 2024 — Candlekeep - A Deep and Creeping Darkness, Part 5434 Paulie Read an Ethics Book
The spelunking continues as our party confronts both menacing meenlocks and muddy morasses of morality.
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January 23, 2024 — Candlekeep - A Deep and Creeping Darkness, Part 4433 Sorry about the Bagpipes
From empty(?) town to damp caves, our exhausted adventurers just can’t catch a break as they delve deep into the meenlock mystery.
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January 16, 2024 — Candlekeep - A Deep and Creeping Darkness, Part 3432 Spooky Nightmares
Our (mostly) exhausted heroes explore the easily mispronounced town of Vermeillon to untangle the mystery of an abandoned domicile and the strange creatures within.
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January 9, 2024 — Candlekeep - A Deep and Creeping Darkness, Part 2431 Disco Centipedes
Can our heroes resist an onslaught of disco centipedes in an otherwise drab town? Can they keep stay-stay-staying alive?
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January 2, 2024 — Candlekeep - A Deep and Creeping Darkness, Part 1430 Bats are the Answer
In this new Candlekeep Mysteries adventure, A Deep and Creeping Darkness, a band of mismatched adventurers visit the realm’s largest library. Literary snobbery ensues.
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December 5, 2023 — Candlekeep - Shemshime’s Bedtime Rhyme, Part 5426 A Troubling Amount of Blood
The party is so busy judging a book by its cover they forgot all about the bloody child. Shemshime’s Bedtime Rhyme concludes, and there’s even a bit of falling action!
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November 28, 2023 — Candlekeep - Shemshime’s Bedtime Rhyme, Part 4425 Sharp and Pointy and Demanding
The earworm-based curse continues to sow discord among the adventurers. They’re sorry for all of this.
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November 21, 2023 — Candlekeep - Shemshime’s Bedtime Rhyme, Part 3424 The Fighting Librarians
The party has gotten themselves into a classic cursed-book situation. But can they get out?
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November 14, 2023 — Candlekeep - Shemshime’s Bedtime Rhyme, Part 2423 Upsetting Image
After four minutes of tag, Paulie is ready to use magic on children - all in the name of finding a solution to the curse of course…
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November 7, 2023 — Candlekeep - Shemshime’s Bedtime Rhyme, Part 1422 Do Do Doo Doo Doo
A new Candlekeep adventure begins! Five familiar adventurers are stuck in the overflow rooms and concerned with toast.
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September 12, 2023 — Candlekeep - Book of the Raven, Part 6414 Flying and Dying
The Book of the Raven finale! In which the party saves some of their people.
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September 5, 2023 — Candlekeep - Book of the Raven, Part 5413 Dog Duty
The party goes one at a time into the grave.
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August 29, 2023 — Candlekeep - Book of the Raven, Part 4412 Yelling Down a Well
Wereravens? There ravens!
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August 22, 2023 — Candlekeep - Book of the Raven, Part 3411 Really Split the Party
The party encounters a muscular demon-goat thing.
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August 15, 2023 — Candlekeep - Book of the Raven, Part 2410 A Weird Bird Pact
The party encounters a rolling cloud of darkness that murders things.
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August 8, 2023 — Candlekeep - Book of the Raven, Part 1409 Cryptic Raven
A new Candlekeep Adventure begins! Another set of familiar and new adventurers encounter the Book of the Raven and wonder “Which way?”
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August 1, 2023 — Candlekeep - Mazfroth’s Mighty Digressions, Part 5408 Crowded Hovel
In which the party concludes the adventure by taking on some jacked-up jackals and making a rug burrito.
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July 25, 2023 — Candlekeep - Mazfroth’s Mighty Digressions, Part 4407 Library Police
In which the party plays “Good Book Inspector, Bad Book Inspector” with a pack of baddies.
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July 18, 2023 — Candlekeep - Mazfroth’s Mighty Digressions, Part 3406 Rat Management
In which the party can’t tell what’s blood and what’s tomato sauce.
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July 11, 2023 — Candlekeep - Mazfroth’s Mighty Digressions, Part 2405 Meatball Sub Vouchers
In which these book inspectors would like to speak to the manager about this Gingwatzim.
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July 4, 2023 — Candlekeep - Mazfroth’s Mighty Digressions, Part 1404 Almost Murdered by a Book
In which some familiar adventurers and a couple new faces encounter Mazfroth’s Mighty Digressions. And a generous amount of slime.
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June 27, 2023 — Candlekeep - The Joy of Extradimensional Spaces, Part 4403 Approach the Toad
In which it’s time to quit horsing around and pony up.
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June 20, 2023 — Candlekeep - The Joy of Extradimensional Spaces, Part 3402 A Horse-sized Hole
In which the party finds books in chains.
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June 13, 2023 — Candlekeep - The Joy of Extradimensional Spaces, Part 2401 Lawful Good but Not Nice
In which the party learns a meatball sub is the best medicine.
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June 6, 2023 — Candlekeep - The Joy of Extradimensional Spaces, Part 1400 A Walk with Paulie
In which five intrepid adventurers join DM Tony to discover The Joy of Extradimensional Spaces - the first adventure from the book Candlekeep Mysteries.