Battered and bloodied, our adventurers really want to be anywhere but where they are. How did we get in this mess, anyway? And is there any chance any of them can get out of it?
When you’re at the bottom of a bottomless pit and you’ve got no hit points left, who you gonna call? Mr. Goodberry! And he… actually may not be any help. Good luck!
In which our adventurers break stuff and fall in a bottomless pit.
Big wheel keep on turning, Carlos keep on running. We’re flute inspectors.
Heroic rescues, a murder hallway, and the big wheels keep on turning. You know, it’s just another day in Athas.
More Bugbears, more magic, more problems. Our adventurers make a few dozen tactical errors. But Carlos just wants to give diplomacy some time to work.
In this episode Carlos wanders off once again, and once again nobody stops him. The healing properties of Kank Milk and its marketing opportunities are explored. Also, Heeeeeeere’s a Bugbear!
Our adventurers abandon the Feathergale Spire and find an underground location in which they can continue to spread lies about who they are and what they’re inspecting.
In this one there’s an awful lot of skulking around the Feathergale spire. Plus, who doesn’t love a hunt?
Our party makes its way to Feathergale Spire, where it turns out that it is the anniversary of the founding of the Feathergale Knights. Time for a big party! With appetizers! And probably trouble. We’re like that.
The Feathergale Spire is a tempting building on the horizon. A dead body in a ravine intrigues Carlos. You know, the usual.
Our adventurers haven’t been run out of town before, but this time it finally happens. Then they go on to Freedom, a town founded by slaves, and investigate the desert wastes in search of more clues to the fate of the missing caravan.
We’re quarry inspectors, actually. (This episode is not endorsed by the Kled Chamber of Commerce.)
It’s time to investigate the place where Carlos (who styles himself a hero) saved that kid, and then we’ll take a journey to the Cave of Floating Rocks to learn about the history of mining accidents on Athas!
In the wake of Carlos opening a door that should have remained closed, the Bringers of Woe have come to bring the pain to our adventurers. Not everyone with a name will make it out alive!
The adventurers investigate the underground complex beneath Kled, turning up a magic rock and a serious vermin infestation problem. Also, Carlos carefully studies a closed door and nobody notices until it’s too late.
In this exciting return to the world of Dark Sun and Eglath’s Angels, pottery is purchased and giant sinkholes are investigated.
Omlol learns an important lesson about asking doors and chests if they are mimics… the hard way! Then our adventurers return to Kled to have interesting conversations with uninteresting townspeople.
After a little more time annoying people in Kled, our adventurers head to the famed Trickle Rock Cave, where there is a little bit of trickling and a little bit of danger!
Our party invades the city of Kled, splits the party, starts a hootenanny, makes new friends, and does what they do best—which is apparently lying unnecessarily?
We were in the desert
Everybody had matching tattoos
Somebody rolled into our flock
And we all saw a rock
It wasn’t a rock
It was a rock monster
In a bit of trouble with wind and templars, the adventurers of Eglath’s Angels take on a new mission to get themselves out of the city of Tyr for a little while. Turns out they’re just as bad at lying as they always were. And a new friend joins the party! But once they’re out in the desert, they’ll prove themselves to be cunning warriors… right?
Our adventurers reach the summit of the Ziggurat and have their final confrontation with the Defiler and a threat that could destroy all of Athas.
A fierce Mul gladiator (not Carlos) protects the interior of the ziggurat as our separated heroes struggle to reunite and defeat their enemies.
Eglath’s Angels conclude their encounter at the city gates and then journey deep into the city to explore a threatening ziggurat.
Our adventurers approach the gates and statues that mark the entry point to the long-dead city of Kaldinay. But a funny thing happened on the way to the Ziggurat…
Freshly out of their pit, our heroes regroup and journey back out into the desert to find the source of the shaquat beetles at Fort Melidor. Also, we learn what a group of cacti is called, and discover some strange things about elven musical instruments.
(This episode was initially released with the last 30 minutes of audio translated into Thri’Kreen. We’ve re-released it with the last 30 minutes in English, for our human listeners.)
The elemental magic-users seem to have what they want—Regdar’s crown—so you’d think the fight would be over. But our adventurers don’t know how to take “no” for an answer! There’s a dramatic transformation and an epic run that will go down in legend and song.
The underground battle for Regdar’s crown has begun! And before it’s over, things are going to get tough for our adventurers.
The battle with Carlos’s nemesis Morningstar is just the beginning of this adventure. There are accountants to terrorize and templars to badger! Will TPK turn into a courtroom drama? Anything’s possible with this group…
Combat combat combat! The battle with the spooky, speedy psionicist continues, and Carlos meets an old colleague and isn’t remotely happy to see him. Plus Regdar runs out of spells and Omlol hears the Good News about Carlos.
Our adventurers return after a long absence (for them, not you) and after remembering where they are, they spend a whole lot of time listening at silent doors and sneaking down hallways, while preparing for the ultimate battle in the basement of the pottery emporium.
We return to the world of Eglath’s Angels, as our adventurers continue to clear out rooms full of sleepy guards before attempting an assault on the source of the mind-control beetles.
Bedrooms, sleepy guards in loincloths, and a whole lot of confusion. Just another day at the office for our adventurers? Not hardly! Today’s the day they meet Chad.
Our adventurers are still in the midst of their midnight raid into the unaffiliated pottery outpost that they suspect to be the center of the operation that’s distributing mind-control beetles far and wide. In this episode, they battle some guards near the fiery pottery kilns, toss a coin a time or two, make a descent through a hidden shaft, and open up some sacks of flour. Plus, Carlos shows off a few of his special talents.
The adventurers return under cover of night to infiltrate the pottery outpost and uncover, at last, the source of the horrible beetle infestation! But do they want to try to kill guards who are just doing their jobs? Sometimes, when you’re fighting near a kiln, you start to wonder about killin’.
The adventurers return to Tyr and go to a pub, which is exactly what you’d expect. But this pub has a Mul with some very important info that he’d like to provide—if something terrible doesn’t happen to him first! Also, Regdar and some accomplices visit a notable pottery emporium.
In the aftermath of a horrible loss, our party struggles to stay alive against an onslaught of webbed and unwebbed Tembo. Is there any hope? Perhaps the slightest ruby glint…
With the caravan and the village of Red Obelisk behind them, and Scale back out of her protective bubble, our adventurers set off back to Tyr. Surely they wouldn’t have the bad luck to run into some dangerous, legendary bogeyman out in the desert, right? Right???
Our adventurers continue their near-naked escape from beetles and cages and defilers and other nasty things in the desert. Also, a certain bedroom containing someone’s purple pants might make a return.
Trapped in a cage, assaulted by horrendous mind-control beetles, what can our adventurers do to save themselves?
Our adventurers try to remember where they left their characters only to find themselves in the clutches of Bezrak and his terrible conspirators from House Shom!
Our adventurers and their caravan continue their battle with the massive horde of giths. This episode contains: Fighting! Dead guards! Outriders! More fighting! More dead guards! Also: A catapult (not pictured).
Omlol flees from his bar brawl! Will the party arrive in time to save him? Plus taunting from a caravan, bardic inspiration, Presta has bad luck, the catapult gets used (but not used well), and oh yeah, there’s this horde of Giths…
Our adventurers salve their wounds until the caravan reaches a desert settlement. Their suspicions about Bezrak lead them to engage in sleuthing—some of it successful, and the rest of it by Carlos. Also, local muscle is called, and there’s a bar fight!
You may ask yourself, why is this oasis so plentiful? And you may ask yourself, why is this lady so beautiful? And you may tell yourself, this is not a beautiful tent. And you may tell yourself, these are not beautiful rugs!
In the wake of Omlol, Katch’ka, and Regdar getting in trouble for their door-related shenanigans, Carlos, Scale and Presta take on the next round of searching the caravan for creepy beetles. Water is fetched! Bribes are paid! Wicker baskets are moved mysteriously! An oasis is spotted! And is it true love at last for Omlol? (Spoiler: It’s not. Not at all.)
The three interlopers who broke the master’s door are under investigation! Can Carlos, Scale and Presta aid in their defense? The management of the caravan tries to unravel the events of our previous episode, and everyone ends up even more confused. Plus, Presta learns an important lesson about vouching.
Paramount Pictures presents the Three Athas Brothers in their funniest film yet! Or to put it another way, Katch’ka and Omlol and Regdar find a whole bunch of wacky ways to get into trouble while the rest of the party is sleeping. Scale makes an uncomfortably enthusiastic new friend! Bowls of stew are ordered! Teak is shattered! And how that Kank got into my pajamas, I’ll never know…
Our adventurers meet their new boss and set out with the caravan into the desert. Regdar attempts to show the worth of his MBA. Katch’ka startles his new co-workers with his leaping. And a glint of sunlight off metal spotted nearby proves just too exciting to pass up.
We return to the strange world of Dark Sun and some of the characters from the first season of Total Party Kill! Fresh off their victory at the Face in the Stone, Carlos, Katch’ka, and Regdar are ready for a visit to the pub, but a familiar face stands in their way! Plus there’s a discussion of microeconomics, Carlos shows off his lack of social skills, we learn about warring trading houses and teak futures, and a few new traveling companions are introduced.
The adventure of the Temple of the Face in the Stone reaches its conclusion! But will our adventurers live to fight another day? Death-saving throws will be failed! Skill checks will be rolled! You’ve come this far, you might as well listen to one more episode with these knuckleheads.
(This marks the end of this season of Total Party Kill. We’ll be back in a month or so with a shortish adventure with new characters, new DMs, and a new setting. But fear not! We’ll return to this group of characters again in the future.)
Our adventurers take stock, meet a new fungus-covered friend, discover the fate of the Red Cord mercenaries, and make their way back to the entrance to the temple, where they discover there’s one more battle left to fight.
Our Carlos-caused battle with the mushroom people continues. Nobody will escape unscathed! Doors will open and close. A retreat will be sounded. One member of the group will be revealed as a macabre MacGyver. And we learn that when you gaze into the mushroom, the mushroom looks back into you.
Our adventurers recover from their horrible wounds inflicted by the silkworm, take a rest, and then find the final room in this temple too intriguing to ignore. It’s all Carlos’s fault—he runs in where intelligent people fear to tread, and gets a face full of mushroom.
Our adventurers battle against the giant silkworm at the heart of the temple, and their lives are on the line. No, seriously, unless one of them makes exactly the right dice roll at the right time, they’re all gonna die.
Carlos is at the bottom of the pit, our party is standing in a doorway, and a giant silkworm is about to strike! This isn’t going to go well, isn’t it? In fact, Carlos, you might want to just stay down there in the pit. It’s safer down there.
Our adventurers continue their battle with Nala the Girl-liath and Daroc the Mul, who is even more unpleasant than Carlos. There’s also some exploring, Katchka makes critical rolls for nature and listening, curiously shaped mushrooms are discovered, and stick around for our terrifying cliffhanger!
The battle with the scaled guardians, zombies, and wispy wraiths continues amid the dead bodies and braziers. Asteron eats a valuable gem. We debate the pronunciation of gith. Carlos gets caught thinking about something other than his job at just the wrong time. And we learn a valuable lesson about not letting your Minotaur do the negotiating for you.
Our adventurers investigate snake chalk art, disturb some funeral urns, and discover that sometimes a room full of dead bodies is just a room full of dead bodies… just not this time.
Our adventurers enter a room dominated by powerful winds. (But enough about that burrito Regdar ate back at the tavern.) A creepy whispering fountain and creepier whirling dust devils can’t be good, right? Also, Carlos gets really angry and attacks a statue.
Our dungeon crawl through the desert temple continues. We poke some weird fungus with a stick and then investigate a room containing a very old knight. It’s like that scene in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade,” except it may be our adventurers who have chosen… poorly. Again.
This is the first “new” episode of TPK. Older episodes originally appeared in the feed of The Incomparable and have been retconned into TPK episodes for new listeners.
Skeletons and salt zombies! Oh my!
A choice between two different magical fountains, plus some zombies and an angry skeleton.
Obelisks with lightning bolts and a surprising encounter with marine life.
The stone temple finally comes into view, but it’s protected by two horrible obelisks that shoot lightning bolts.
A new adventurer joins the party, and everyone experiences a terrifying journey through the sandstorm vortex.
Our adventurers finish their battle at the whirlwind, but at a somewhat horrible price.
The battle by the sandstorm vortex continues, with Carlos on the move and unpleasant Tareks doing damage to our adventurers.
Glass spiders and a horrific sandstorm vex our Dark Sun adventurers.
After waking up in an alley, our adventurers outfit themselves for a trip deep into the desert.
Amid a brutal battle in a market area, our brave adventurers try to hide behind a hot dog cart. It works as well as you might expect.
Introducing our party of five adventurers in the desert realm of Athas, as they begin their quest and get in a fight with some nasty dwarves. It doesn’t go well.