Parsely (Action Castle)
Parsely games, including ACTION CASTLE, are like classic text adventures of old, but played with a human acting as parser and players issuing commands in order. Parsely is the brainchild of Jared A. Sorensen.
285 There Used To Be Guano Here
And now, the conclusion! Having left our players (and our listeners) on a cliffhanger last time, a slightly diminished crew try to make their way through, and eventually off, the Cursed Island.
Previous Episodes
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June 10, 2026 — Cursed Island (Part 1)284 South By Northwest
Arrrr, it be another Parsely Games adventure, this time an old timey pirate adventure as our players visit ye olde Cursed Island! Avast! Hold hard!
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March 4, 2026 — Ruins of Ne ork
277 The Time is Still the Future
Action Castle returns! This time, the players navigate the charred remains of post apocalyptic Ne Ork City. Watch out for rat people and burning rivers! Another amusing and entertaining text adventure game from Parsley Games!
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September 14, 2022
187 A Beatdown in Dangertown
Action Castle returns! This time, the contestants take a trip to the Land of Violence when they play Dangertown Beatdown, another amusing and entertaining text adventure game from Parsley Games!
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October 6, 2021 — Pumpkin Town
164 Pixie Duck Is My Roller Derby Name
It’s SHOCKTOBER here at the Incomparable Game Show, and it’s time for another great Parsely Adventure—Pumpkin Town! Will our players find all the halloween candy, or be thwarted by the nefarious parser?
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December 23, 2020 — Six-Gun Showdown
146 This Belt Bucky is Trickle
Howdy pardner! It’s time for tumbleweeds and cactuses, as we head to the Old West for a text adventure. You’re sleeping one off, but there’s trouble afoot! Can our players avoid getting shot or being victimized by the many dangers of the desert? Probably not.
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September 2, 2020 — Action Castle IV
139 Bring Your Own Backstory
The Parsely Action Castle trilogy continues with ACTION CASTLE IV. All your favorite nerds are here to pepper Tony with commands as they seek to discover the meaning of Actions and Castles! Go north and ride west to find daggers, rope, crossbows, and haircuts!
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December 17, 2019 — Kringle Krisis
122 That Seems Naughty
A new Parsely adventure? It’s a Christmas miracle! We take a tour of the North Pole and try to save Christmas by entering basic commands into a human parser. What secrets lie in the Candy Cane Forest? Who lives atop Yeti Mountain? What is Mary Claus’s marital status? Tis the season!
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September 17, 2019 — Spooky Manor
117 Luxuriating with Lord Spooky
You stop your bicycle by a forbidding wrought-iron gate. A cobblestone path winds its way to the north. To the east and west stretches a dark and lonely road. It is raining.
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September 18, 2018 — Action Castle III
95 Take a Bow
You stand among the ruins of the once-glorious Action Castle (castle castle castle). All that’s left is this courtyard, a lonely tower, and a few crumbling walls. A rickety wooden stairway leads up to the tower. A dark stairwell descends to the dungeon. Exits are: UP, DOWN, and WEST.
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March 7, 2018 — Parsely Adventures V: Z Ward
82 It’s Meatloaf Day!
It’s a text-adventure journey into horror, as our human players enter the mental hospital in search of the truth about their sister. They’d better tell the computer to SAVE GAME every now and then. You never know what might happen…
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August 2, 2017 — Parsely Adventures IV: Space Station
67 Welcome to Engineering
It’s time to play another Parsely game, in which a group of humans try to confuse a computer parser (played by a human). This time, it’s time to investigate a space station! Will it be an Action Castle success, or a Jungle Adventure disaster?
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February 15, 2017 — Parsely Adventures III: Action Castle 2
55 There Is a Sign Here
It’s time for another journey into the realm of classic text adventures mixed with painful human dynamics, as we return to the world of… Action Castle! (castle, castle, castle). Yes, that’s right, we’re playing “Action Castle 2.” Can the sequel live up to the original?
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March 29, 2016 — Parsely Adventures II: Jungle Adventure
33 Exits Are Unknown
We return to the dangerous land of group text adventures with “Jungle Adventure”, in which the survivor of a plane crash wanders through a dark jungle. And wanders. And wanders.
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September 22, 2015 — Parsely Adventures I: Action Castle
21 Light Lamp
What if you cross a party game with an old-school text adventure? You get Action Castle, the game that turns a human being into an old-style command line prompt and a bunch of people into a single bumbling adventurer. Go west! Get fish! Inventory!