Old Spice is the Final Destination of flowers.
I have no objection to chewing things.
You can’t save both glaciers.
He does all of his own drownings.
Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation
We know it’s an assassin because the phone said “assassin”.
My professor had a theory.
Spirally slow-motion spinny-ma-jig.
These roostings are making me so chicken.
I went to journalism school, I know that’s past tense.
If the oats are hydrated in a forest and no one is around to see it did they really happen overnight?
Constant illumination is the enemy of suspense.
I swear to god, Gary Busey plays someone’s cop partner in a movie.
Predator S Maxes, or whatever.
How is predalien babby formed?
Not to be those people, which we always are.
I very closely associate Jason Derulo with Jason Derulo.
I’ll give you stars on your bellies.
This isn’t your daddy’s Pixar movie.
This whole scene takes place between his legs.
I’m also glad you didn’t die.
You should be thankful that I stayed awake for this whole thing.
Spock’s always in the last place you look.
Please, The Fourth Wall is my father, call me Fourth.
A couple dozen more viewings and you’re going to love it.
$300,000 plus a restaurant bar in Arcadia.
I was going Boondock Saints and you went Lion King.
Work your way down to the feet.
I’m a Millennial, reward me.
The soup isn’t the important part of the story.
What I refer to as ‘Hammock Mode’.
I just give up and let the movie hit me in the eyes.
Die Another Day (2002)
Bad, dull, gray potato of a movie.
“The World Is Not Enough” (1999)
They met at Señor Frog’s.
I had a very low user number on the yo-yo forum.
It’s not escalated, it’s elevated.
Do you remember the beverage ‘Milk’?
Send The Bobs Into Apple.
You don’t understand the sincerity of a hug.
What if it just turns you into bushes?
The Magic Eye of Canadian Accents.
I look like a bearded egg wearing an Edge beanie.
If you wanna be my Jesus, gotta get with my spice.
James Bond would not be so gauche.
I am everyone’s sports dad.
Welcome to Dudecember, everybody!
It’s more like a mortadella than bologna.
It’s Black Friday!
Save all your Loggins in 1Password.
Our first ever Film Score and Music Draft!
Craft services always comes home with me.
The physics of severed hands.
You got a permit for a day and a dummy.
A lot of growling and rubber.
Did I forget to mention the knife-hands?
When you see the Abomination Room go two more doors and hang a left.
This isn’t Jesus’ pen.
Where wouldn’t you sew a dead cat?
Home is where the heart glows.
I burned myself making flan.
Really, it’s about the friends we made along the way.
We had bad taste long after 2004.
This movie is not called Coincidence Day.
At your worst you should always be your best.
This made Jurassic Park 2 look like Jurassic Park 1.
It’s like why I won’t mount a TV to a wall.
Mistakes Were Made: The Lost World Story
Flashlights are the downfall of this movie.
My day job is your workout.
There are no other terminators in this terminator factory.
Terminator Salvation (2009)
I still don’t know what this movie is saying.
American Psycho (2000)
The teeth are the doorway to the soul.
When Does Mr. Chaos Close?
This movie is all about melting pots.
Be the naked guy you want to see at Griffith Observatory.
This is a movie where you don’t need a reason for anything.
Technically, every photo is a photo of a light leak.
Bad Boys (1995)
The Steel Behind the Steele.
I checked and it’s true, based on Jason Snell’s Wikipedia page.
A lot of incapacitated Jennifer.
With Special Guest Seth Worley.
You know about the refrigerator.
We’re joined, once again, by Special Guest Seth Worley.
The Drew Barryminimum.
‘Donnie Darko’ (2001)
I speak movie language.
Psychotic drug dealers are people too.
A Good Bad Drug, a Bad Bad Drug, or a Drug You Kinda Like
NASCAR theft is not a victimless crime.
My sidekick doesn’t defecate.
With special guest Mikah Sargent.
The high points of the holiday are mostly the alcohol.
No movie this week.
Have you seen a woman that looks like these 30 pixels?
Kids explode the darnedest things.
Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)
You couldn’t pick a worse person to be around children.
I don’t want to say “problematic” because I say it too much.
There are easier ways to kill a dog.
It’s marbles all the way down.
If anything, the fall would have been fatal.
Peak Deakins. Shutup Jared Leto.
‘Blade Runner 2049’
This movie is a Nothing Burger.
Heavy on atmosphere.
Grumpy about technology.
No movie for this episode.
It’s a let down.
Stick my head up The Matrix’s butt.
A robot shrimp in your belly button.
The weirdest, worst episode we’ve ever done.
You gotta remember your lifetime card.
You wanted the Defocused experience.
Special Guest Mikah Sargent!
There’s squish and there’s also crunch.
The return of Special Guest Merlin Mann!
Electronic Vaporware Nonsense Horse-Poopy.
Everything that happens during the tournament is part of the tournament.
Get Gareth-Edwardsed rather than Lord-and-Millered
A very claritive movie.
This is only good if you’ve seen it before you had any taste
A “Buy One, Get Four Free” Refreshe Situation
Sad, depressing meat pucks.
No movie this week.
On this historic episode, we’re joined, for the first time, by two special guests: Merlin Mann and Todd Vaziri!
The bar is in the globe.
The seagulls in Spain are mostly on the plane.
Joe sold his record player for a gold comb and Dan sold his hair for a record.
The story you can get literally anywhere else.
We’re joined by special guest Seth Worley to discuss Raiders of the Lost Ark!
Can you put gelato on a stick?
The death of civilization can be tied to the jog wheel.
The Devil needs to see my abs.
I’m not scared of anything, fight me!
Dan’s 3-point meatball sub plan.
Would that it were so simple to fluster Joe.
What kind of crust do you think Pizza the Hutt was?
It’s Die Hard in a building.
Don’t Put Your Excitement Knob on Your Forehead
Jean-Claude Van Damme does basically the same fighting stuff.
For every cat you see, there are a thousand you don’t.
We Need a Moist Raisin!
This episode begins with a very special announcement from your hosts.
Starring: Dan Sturm
Edited, Produced, and Directed by: Joe Rosensteel
I don’t want to spoil it for you, but there’s a bad guy.
The address is 1234 Jedha St, Jedha City, Jedha Planet.
What is the deal with this family?
Is this your first day, potato?
Can I have sour cream on my burrito?
With returning Special Guest Anže Tomić!
As the Barefoot Contessa would say.
Hello, I am an Important Person. Come To My Small Office Now.
A lot of follow-up and a little bit of movie.
Imagine having chocolate milk and then you’re drunk.
Here, put your arms inside of this hydraulic maw.
Wake me up when we get to the meat-packing scene.
‘Predator 2’ (1990)
The Predator is a Space Snowbird.
Never trust a company man in a wool blazer with a popped collar.
My helmet could have a big picture of a waffle on it.
iPhones, donuts, and cereal.
Dennis Leary lives underground and eats rat burgers.
Demolition Man (1993)
It’s always beige in Malibu.
‘The Net’ (1995)
There was already a Dent in the car.
‘Beverly Hills Cop II’ (1987)
Chicken Salad Chicken Salad, Salad that is Chicken.
When was the last time you backfocused your podcast?
Got a nail in your warp nacelles?
‘Star Trek Beyond’ (2016)
Ohana means #family.
Dan and Joe are less than enthusiastic about Star Trek Into Darkness.
The new Vulcan colony is in Flavor Town.
Just give me two Armie Hammers, that’s all I want.
We talk about Dan’s favorite film The Social Network (2010).
Remember when people read Harry Potter?
Dan and Joe discuss ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ on it’s 10th anniversary.
You don’t want to update your devices right before your keynote speech.
We discuss all previous episodes of this podcast. Tune in for some nonsense.
Follow your turn-by-turn directions to Egypt. Or don’t because this movie is terrible.
‘The Mummy Returns’ (2001)
Where is the Vice Pharaoh during all this?
It was all just a big misunderstanding.
Does it get Food Network and Afternoon Divorce Court?
You don’t want to know how the sausage is made.
You can’t just lure monkeys into ice cream.
Watch as a movie steers into the skid of insufferability.
🎶 I’ve got a lighter on a string, sitting on a rainbow. 🎶
We force fed this to our eyeballs.
It takes two to consensus.
It wasn’t really a Cuban sandwich, but it was good.
We’re joined by special guest Todd Vaziri to discuss Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982). Todd is a compositing lead and supervisor at ILM and has worked on the Star Wars and Star Trek film franchises.
We’re joined by special guest Adam Lisagor to discuss Torque (2004).
This movie is the intersection of gorillas and eye-shaped drawings.
Nice to meet you, here’s some ink for your shirt.
Red flags everywhere.
Crawl with us on the forrest floor as we discuss The Revenant (2015).
Two very dirty movies.
How do you put your worm in your pleather pants?
What falls faster? A feather or a Jeep?
Our 2015 Guests
- Jason Snell
- Anže Tomić
- Aleen Simms
- Glenn Fleishman
Starring: Dan Sturm
Edited Produced and Directed by: Joe Rosensteel
It’s totally tubular.
We have a shirt! You can buy it!
Also, send us your favorite Defocused moments of 2015 at email@example.com.
Who’s a good Jedi? Yes you are!
Remember that time we found a clone army in the couch cushions?
It didn’t have to be this way, George.
The droids you own end up owning you.
As it turns out, we don’t agree on everything. Who knew?
The thing is, you get more parsecs per mile on the highway.
Vigo may not be a great movie villain, but we still like his olive oil and crushed tomatoes.
Ghostbusters II (1989).
All you need is some chewing gum and twine and you’ve got a doorway to another dimension.
Masters of the Universe (1987).
Home is where the furnace is.
The ‛Burbs (1989).
There should have been only one.
Special guest Glenn Fleishman joins us to discuss Highlander (1986).
Now that Joe’s back from Europe we can spend some serious time complaining about Apple’s recent announcements.
Dan convinced Joe to watch Johnny Dangerously (1984) once. Once ☝️.
Need help getting those spices off the top shelf?
Road House (1989).
It’s an ugly podcast! A BUG podcast!
Starship Troopers (1997).
Live! In Person! For the first (and probably last) time ever!
For the love of god, no pun intended!
Top Secret! (1984)
When you saw only one set of footprints, that’s when Fezzik was carrying the horse.
The Princess Bride (1987).
Jupiter Ascending (2015) – We have some issues.
This week, we’re joined by special guest Anže Tomić to talk about one of his favorite films, Stripes (1981).
Dan is not an Explosionologist. Joe is not a Doorologist.
Independence Day (1996).
This week we did something we swore we’d never do. We watched Jurassic World (2015).
In this, our one year anniversary episode, we reminisce about the show and answer some listener questions.
Dan evades a political scandal by traveling to visit Joe in South Beach. Then they watch 1996’s The Birdcage.
At long last, Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained (2012).
Dan and Joe hack the 80s parody, Kung Fury.
HDR Hamburger Magic Eye Posters and The Rocketeer (1991).
Dan and Joe talk about Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) and their new CBS crime procedural.
Dan and Joe ask important questions about Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015). Like, ‘Why?’ and ‘What?’
Dan and Joe talk about an obscure classic: Marvel’s The Avengers (2012).
A movie trailer extravaganza! Star Wars! Batman v Superman! Jurassic World! Tomorrowland! Terminator: Genisys! Happiness! Skepticism! Anger! Disappointment!
The guys do some NAB Followup before getting back to the gold coin business for John Wick (2014). Didn’t you know John Wick was John Wick?
Dan and Joe went to Mars to talk about 1990’s Total Recall. Or did they?
A brief discussion of Otter Pops and motorcycles before activating the StarDrive™ on The Last Starfighter (1984).
Dan and Joe talk about how Apple will be your new cable provider.
Join Dan and Joe in a completely unsubtle critique of conspicuous consumption, and executive bathrooms.
Pugs, Pizza Toppings, and our tribute to Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986).
To maintain the “magic” of the podcast, we won’t tell you just how much work went into making this episode (at least until after awards season), but we will tell you that Birdman (2014) is one of the most polarizing movies we’ve reviewed.
Dan and Joe — (shot). Dan and Joe talk about — (shot). Dan and Joe talk about Edge of Tomorrow (2014). (grenade)
A Superhero Spectacular, featuring Spider-Man and Big Hero 6 (2014)!
There’s a lot of love in the middle of this feel-good sandwich. Even if it is served on the wrong kind of bread.
Dan discusses his Groundhog Day (1993) menu, and Joe does the Pennsylvania Polka.
Joe Steel Preston Esquire and Dan Theodore Logan go on a most excellent adventure.
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989).
This week we discuss the 80s cult classic Real Genius (1985) with Chris Knight super-fan Jason Snell.
Live from nowhere near CES 2015, we discuss the mess that is the UHD TV standard before going completely off the rails discussing the larger mess that is Snowpiercer (2013).
Presented in Stereo Sound.
Our 2014 Guests:
- Myke Hurley
- Casey Liss
- Stephen Hackett
- Matt Alexander
- Jason Snell
Special Thanks to Listeners:
- David Fuchs
- Kyle Seth Gray
- Carl T. Holscher
- Brian Hamilton
- Isaac McAuley
- Jason Zigler
- A Boy Named Boom
Edited and Produced by: Dan Sturm
Written By: Joe Rosensteel
Welcome to the party, pal. Die Hard (1988).
It’s Dan and Joe (We know them! We know them!) here to talk about the 2003 classic Christmas film, directed by John Favreau, Elf.
A little follow up. A little more about the Sony hack. And a whole lot of Home Alone (1990).
Dan and Joe decided to do a brief overview of teaser trailers, and the way in which they shape expectations for film. The recent release of the Star Wars: The Force Awakens and Jurassic World teaser trailers inspired this discussion. They also discuss how viewing teasers has changed over time to turn from an occasional snippet of film, in to QuickTime downloads, and instantaneously available streams.
Spoilers abound as we discuss all things Interstellar (2014).
In this “All Follow-Up” episode we talk about Christopher Nolan, SGI Workstations, and how Bonanza got their L.A. Relay Race™ all wrong.
This week, special guest Jason Snell joins the snobs in the record store to talk about High Fidelity (2000).
We set out, with the best of intentions, to discuss the news and the Avengers: Age of Ultron trailer. And then it all went to hell.
Dan explains ectoplasmic bayer filtering and anamorphic apparitions. Joe saves the day with a straw and a lid.
Much like The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975), this episode is truly Defocused and, yet, a ton of fun.
This week, the guys are tired and, we’re not going to lie, things get a little weird. But, that doesn’t change the fact that this week’s movie, Clue (1985) is just wonderful fun.
Dan ate our social engagement platform, Joe braces for work, and we watch Peter Jackson’s 1996 cult classic, The Frighteners.
Former volcano owner and current World’s Greatest CEO Matt Alexander joins us to talk about tearaway trousers, reclaimed wood, what to do when planes fly overhead, what ingredients may or may not be in KFC’s “chicken”, and, of course, Goldfinger (1964).
Joe and Dan talk about college mascots and libraries. Joe nerds-out over Galaxy Quest (1999), while Dan politely nods.
Joe hates love. Dan hates chicken salad. An omelet with nothing in it isn’t technically an omelet, and carrots and celery are just a base of a soup.
This week, we watch Grosse Pointe Blank (1997).
Special guest Stephen Hackett joins us for some brief beverage banter before breaking down Pirates of Silicon Valley.
Like the memories of our childhood, Hackers (1995) is an embarrassing cultural retrospective full of that’s-not-a-things and awful clothing, but it’s still fun to watch in an only-partly-ironic way. Set your modems to receive a file. Defocusers of the world, unite!
This week we’re joined by special guest, Casey Liss, to discuss 90s music (bad), and Michael Mann’s Collateral (good).
Dan is wearing pants. Joe promises he’s not peeing. We watch Tony Zhou’s A Brief Look at Texting and the Internet in Film before taking on the early 1990s two ways with Empire Records and Detention (2011).
Bug: Joe would like to apologize for recording the wrong audio input this week and he promises to never do it again.
Feature: You can tell Joe and Dan apart.
Live from Vancouver, Joe eats the turducken of insects, then buys a new kettle. Dan has no heart, but he can fix his car. All that and The Fifth Element.
In a decidedly VFX heavy episode, we catch up on some industry news before spending almost as long talking about Guardians of the Galaxy as we did watching it in the theater. The Spoiler Horn sounds at 26:45.
This week, we’re joined by special guest Myke Hurley to discuss Dan’s “desert accent”, Myke’s concern about Joe’s sleep, and why we all love Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.
The Episode 6 platform is built on social media, pivots to Mike Judge’s Silicon Valley, then pivots to coffee, before sunsetting with gym burritos.
Dan buys a burrito and feels guilty about it. Joe drinks dirt juice. It doesn’t matter if your TV is 4K because the movie probably isn’t. We don’t know what to make of Pixar’s involvement in the “no raid” scandal, but we’re really glad Super Troopers exists. And, it’s a good thing you didn’t order hashbrowns. I mean, if they had been chugging the catsup.
Dan hurt himself. Joe enjoys both ketchup and mustard on his hotdogs. Neither of them really liked World War Z, but only one of them didn’t like Shaun of the Dead.
Dan’s tired from his trip to San Francisco, Joe got some taquitos, called Kaitan Koribann, and Tow-Mater, Tater, and they both (mostly) watched Dune and Can’t Hardly Wait.
Magic Notes, Magic Nodes, Magic Mike.