An off-handed remark from James that he lived, nay, owned a “tenement flat” led to an extended discussion about flats, apartments, and tenements, and about how we refer to the kind of sub-building dwelling we live in.

We thought we’d start a run of episodes continuing our theme of things around the house with a simple topic: bench or counter/countertop. It turns out after finishing a meal, we need to sidle into the bathroom, find the pocket door. We also learn that we must stop sitting on top of things off which one normally eats food—it’s rude! And, in some parts of the world, a cultural social catastrophe extending to tapu. Nothing is ever easy when we investigate English’s migration around the world. Shall you sit on a bench or a counter? Fiddlesticks.

A buttermilk biscuit is one of humanity’s greatest inventions. But it is somehow different from an English or Scottish (or New Zealand) scone, whether you pronounce it skown or skon. In this episode, we tear biscuits apart, peer inside sausages, and swim in gravy.

We wade into the contentious debate of what constitutes a sandwich in this episode, but fortunately get sidetracked into whether a chicken patty is a burger or a sandwich, and then start remembering chip butties fondly, we discuss “the bits” of fries/chips, and Chris informs us about “a fly cuppie and a fine piece.” We avoid getting into a jam about jelly (reserving it for a future episode).

Welcome to tea or not! A podcast in which we…never mind. This episode, we discuss a cuppa, a fly cup, broken orange pekoe, tea bags, tea with toasted brown rice, and what is absolutely not tea. Bonus content at the end.

A flat white isn’t just a boring person who frequents Starbucks, but a drink invented in New Zealand. Fortunately, we have a Kiwi on this episode to talk about that and other coffee we drink out in the best of times (and, in New Zealand, right now) and we make at home. We add sugar and milk to flat white, americano, mocha (pronounced both ways), Nespresso, and cowboy coffee, among other caffeinated topics.

Broil, broil, toil, and trouble, cooktop flame and grill bubble! On this episode, panelists talk around the hob about knobs, grill each other over flames, and do not, I repeat, do not put another shrimp on the barbie. Barbecue is meat. Unless it’s a kind of cookout.

We mention our episode on vans, caravans, and RVs, and Chris enlightens us about two UK brands: Aga, a popular kind of fancy grill, and Baby Belling, a popular model of electric cooker.

In this first episode of the fifth series of Pants in the Boot, our panelists turn on the tap and fill their kettle—or is it a pot, pan, or jug?—with cold, clear water, before boiling it. We debate voltage. Also, Jean reveals her regifting habit.

Oof, it’s been a long day of eating, but it’s finally time for dinner, whether we consume it at 5:30 p.m. with children or midnight in Barcelona. Panelists discuss what they eat on what surface and when, and discover all of them grew up eating their evening meal together with their family. This is the last episode in this meals series. Join us again soon for a new series with new set of culture and words.

Here’s one in which our British compadres have Americans (and most Canadians) beat hands down: tea! While our feckless host admits he thought high tea was an invention, English and Scottish panelist explain tea, afternoon tea, and high tea, and ask the butler to bring more scones.