Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall watch a lot of movies, and they like to talk about them. This year, they’re focusing on postapocalyptic movies, so strap on your shoulder pads, spike your hair, and get ready to survive in a world ruined by nuclear war, plague, mutants, or who knows what else. Every episode will focus on a different postapocalyptic movie, until they’ve done a year of it.

15

Damnation Alley

Damnation Alley is the story of a tricked-out military RV being driven around under some very brightly colored skies after a nuclear apocalypse that takes thirteen minutes to play out. Somebody was very concerned that we might not understand what had happened to the world, because this was four years before The Road Warrior demonstrated what postapocalyptic movies should be like. Sadly, it was also five months AFTER Star Wars came out, which made Damnation Alley look like absolute slop.

Also! This ends our Postapocalyptic run, and we will now transform into Monty and Rhias vs. Movies: Fantasy. Because we’re going to start watching fantasy movies.

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall


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Previous Episodes

14

Cherry 2000

Cherry 2000 is a movie with bounty hunters and sex robots and pretty cool cinematography. It is also very boring.

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall


13

Deathsport

David Carradine, fresh off Death Race 2000, makes a movie that’s basically Death Race 2000 But With Motorcycles And Also We Have To Make This Like Star Wars Because It’s 1978 And That’s All Anyone Can Talk About.

It’s pretty cheap and silly, but there are some very entertaining explosions, and the general weirdness is a lot of fun.

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall


12

Steel of Fire Warriors 2010 A.D.

As far as we know, this movie is only available through Scarecrow Video in Seattle. It’s an extremely silly parody of postapocalyptic movies made by people (in 2009) who were both comedians and Scarecrow employees, which means that they’re pals of Rhias’s. It’s really funny, though, and we try to convey that in our very fond discussion of it.

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall


11

The Postman

A three-hour movie directed by, and starring, Kevin Costner as the man who brings society back from the postapocalypse by sheer force of downright decent-ness. It’s kind of bombastic, quite overwrought, and the closest thing you’ll see to a postapocalyptic take on Civil War battles.

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall


10

1990: The Bronx Warriors

This is one of the least postapocalyptic movies ever made. At best, there are three square blocks of postapocalypse, and some of it might be Brooklyn. A lot of it is definitely Rome. This movie is equal parts ripoffs of The Warriors and Escape From New York, and it’s a lot of fun, in a grimy kind of way.

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall


9

ZARDOZ

Is it postapocalyptical? Sort of! Is it genuine nonsense? Absolutely! Does Sean Connery wear an outfit that is completely unacceptable? You know it!

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall


8

Atolladero

This movie is very gross! And Monty and Rhias talk about it frankly and with swear words. Atolladero was made in 1995 and it is very much one of those movies made right after Pulp Fiction where they just pile on the drugs and violence and transgressive behavior and so forth. It appeared in a few film festivals and then had a limited release in Spain, so it’s kind of a miracle that Rhias ever got her hands on this third-generation VHS copy. Anyway, it’s kind of a spaghetti western noir in a postapocalyptic setting, made in Spain, and Iggy Pop is in it.

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall


7

Wheels of Fire

Wheels of Fire was shot in the Philippines and has probably the most explosions of any movie we’ve seen in this Postapocalyptic year. It also contains a telepathic woman, a woman who appears to have a psychic link with a hawk, and an actual Playboy Playmate. And yet? Extremely boring. And it is very unkind to its female characters, especially the aforementioned Playmate. This episode is marked “explicit” because there was no other way to discuss the gross parts.

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall


6

The Blood of Heroes

Rutger Hauer and Joan Chen are athletes in the coolest post-apocalyptic deathsport of them all: They’re juggers! That means they travel from desolate wasteland town to desolate wasteland town to fight a brutal struggle centered around a dog skull. It’s great.

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall


5

Land of Doom

Behold, the story of Harmony, Anderson, and to a much lesser extent, a guy named Roland, who enters the story way too late to count as comic relief. It is a story you’ve heard before, with motorcycles and weird leather clothing, and plague mutants. Well, we’re not told that those guys were mutants, but they probably were. Stands to reason, right? This movie was made in Turkey in 1986 and it is fun.

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall


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Monty and Rhias vs. Movies