A three-hour movie directed by, and starring, Kevin Costner as the man who brings society back from the postapocalypse by sheer force of downright decent-ness. It’s kind of bombastic, quite overwrought, and the closest thing you’ll see to a postapocalyptic take on Civil War battles.
This is one of the least postapocalyptic movies ever made. At best, there are three square blocks of postapocalypse, and some of it might be Brooklyn. A lot of it is definitely Rome. This movie is equal parts ripoffs of The Warriors and Escape From New York, and it’s a lot of fun, in a grimy kind of way.
Is it postapocalyptical? Sort of! Is it genuine nonsense? Absolutely! Does Sean Connery wear an outfit that is completely unacceptable? You know it!
This movie is very gross! And Monty and Rhias talk about it frankly and with swear words. Atolladero was made in 1995 and it is very much one of those movies made right after Pulp Fiction where they just pile on the drugs and violence and transgressive behavior and so forth. It appeared in a few film festivals and then had a limited release in Spain, so it’s kind of a miracle that Rhias ever got her hands on this third-generation VHS copy. Anyway, it’s kind of a spaghetti western noir in a postapocalyptic setting, made in Spain, and Iggy Pop is in it.
Wheels of Fire was shot in the Philippines and has probably the most explosions of any movie we’ve seen in this Postapocalyptic year. It also contains a telepathic woman, a woman who appears to have a psychic link with a hawk, and an actual Playboy Playmate. And yet? Extremely boring. And it is very unkind to its female characters, especially the aforementioned Playmate. This episode is marked “explicit” because there was no other way to discuss the gross parts.
Rutger Hauer and Joan Chen are athletes in the coolest post-apocalyptic deathsport of them all: They’re juggers! That means they travel from desolate wasteland town to desolate wasteland town to fight a brutal struggle centered around a dog skull. It’s great.
Behold, the story of Harmony, Anderson, and to a much lesser extent, a guy named Roland, who enters the story way too late to count as comic relief. It is a story you’ve heard before, with motorcycles and weird leather clothing, and plague mutants. Well, we’re not told that those guys were mutants, but they probably were. Stands to reason, right? This movie was made in Turkey in 1986 and it is fun.
What if the postapocalyptic world didn’t have shoulderpads and mohawks? What if instead, it had a midcentury rock and roll aesthetic with katanas and a Russian surf guitar soundtrack and a guitar duel against death? What if it didn’t make a lick of sense, but it looked good enough that it didn’t matter?
Journey with Monty and Rhias all the way back to 2018, when Sandra Bullock and John Malkovich were trapped in a post-apocalyptic world on Netflix. If they see the monster, they’ll die! So instead, they stay locked inside a house and yell at each other. So far, this was the most accurate post-apocalypse.
Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall take on the Warriors of the Apocalypse, which is also called Searchers of the Voodoo Mountain, or maybe Time Raiders. It’s some leather-clad dudes in the Philippines wandering around a rock quarry and a jungle, which is full of some unfortunate “savage warrior” stereotypes, and also an amazon temple with a throne that’s equipped with laser cannons.
The Postapocalypse is here! Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall embark on a year-long quest to watch a bunch of movies set in blasted wastelands and empty cities. First up: Night of the Comet!.