31

Phil And Lisa Ruin Extended Hiatuses

Phil and Lisa return to mull over the Wrinkle In Time trailer, talk about movies they saw on airplanes and figure out who this generation’s Peter O’Toole is. Also, can you name Pittsburgh’s three rivers, because we sure have trouble. And Mickey Mouse returns for his cut.

Movies Ruined: Wrinkle in Time, The Post, Red Sparrow, Coco, Hell or High Water, Fences, La La Land, Dancer

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


30

Phil and Lisa Ruin Replicants

In this episode we take on “Blade Runner 2049”, shake our heads at “Marvel’s Inhumans”, and sing a song of “Top Cat”. Plus, everyone’s favorite X-Man drops by for a visit.

Movies Ruined: “Blade Runner 2049”, “Marvel’s Inhumans”, “Jumanji”, “The Greatest Showman”, “Top Cat Begins”, “The Friends of Eddie Coyle”, “Crimson Tide”.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


29

Phil and Lisa Ruin the Third Reich

We should be talking about trailers for “Black Panther”, “Flatliners” and “Only Living Boy in New York”, but Phil and Lisa have a bone to pick with Tom Cruise and “Valkyrie” first. Also: Songs we loved ruined by movies! And late 80s/early 90s pictures we hope Hollywood reboots next.

Movies Ruined: Black Panther, Flatliners, Only Living Boy in New York, Valkyrie, Diggstown, The Verdict (1946), Silence of the Lambs, Sleepless in Seattle.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


28

Phil and Lisa Ruin Summer

Wonder Woman proved that someone can make a good DC movie. Justice League looks like someone doesn’t want to make a habit of that. But what other delights await you at the cineplex this summer?

Movies Ruined: Wonder Woman, Justice League, Spiderman: Homecoming, Atomic Blonde, Rough Night, Murder on the Orient Express, The Mummy.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


27

Phil and Lisa Ruin Charlie Hunnam

It’s a very Charlie Hunnam episode as we look at the “King Arthur” and “Lost City of Z(ed)” trailers, followed up by “Boss Baby” and “Alien: Covenant.” One of those is about a parasitic lifeform who terrorizes a crew of humans; the other is about space explorers.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


26

Phil and Lisa Ruin the Super Bowl

While the rest of you were watching sportsball this weekend, Phil and Lisa paid extra-close attention to the many movie trailers that debuted during the big game. Their verdict? Stick to sports.

Movies Ruined: The Road to Wellness, The Fate of the Furious, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Life, Ghost in the Shell, Transformers: The Last Knight, Baywatch.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


25

Phil and Lisa Ruin the Oscar Nominations

Instead of just complaining about trailers for movies they’ll never see, Phil and Lisa go next level to complain about award nominations for films they’ve not watched. Also, a haunting rendition of college fight songs.

Movies Ruined: Dunkirk, Trainspotting 2, Logan

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


24

Phil and Lisa Ruin Moana

Phil and Lisa share their thoughts on the latest Disney animated movie, skewer two upcoming releases from Pixar and Disney and tempt violent retribution from fans of Lin-Manuel Miranda and Mandy Patinkin.

Movies Mentioned: Moana, Cars 3, Beauty & The Beast (2017), The Journey, The Outlaw, True Grit (1969), Red River, Lego Batman.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


23

Phil & Lisa Ruin Comic-Con

Excited about all the movies based on funny books that had people talking at Comic-Con this past weekend? Well, let Phil and Lisa sneer at your joy. But at least there’s a tender rendition of “It’s Raining Men” to put a song in your heart.

Movies ruined: Justice League, Wonder Woman, Dr. Strange, Kong: Skull Island, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, Snowden.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


22

Donald Duck Learned His Trade in the Navy

Blake Lively battles a shark, and who wins? You do, America. Also, we return to some animated children’s movies and talk Pixar sequels, before Mickey Mouse stops by to wet his beak a little bit. And finally: Musicals!

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


21

Phil and Lisa Ruin Your Childhood

The upcoming “Pete’s Dragon” remake sends Phil and Lisa on a trip down memory lane about the terrible Disney live-action pictures of their youth. Also, Lisa freaks out Phil about “The Rescuers,” and we assess the career of cinematic giant Tom Cruise.

Movies Ruined: “Pete’s Dragon” (both of them), “Jack Reacher: Never Go Back.”

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


20

Phil and Lisa Ruin Sports Movies

Lisa talks up the terrible trailers she saw before watching Popstar, while Phil wonders why so many movies about sports icons are so very terrible. Also, Miles Teller gets renamed Ol’ Slappy. Plus, a pledge break!

Movies Ruined: Magnificent Seven (2016), Pele: Birth of a Legend, Race, Purge: Election Year, War Dogs, Sausage Party, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


19

Phil & Lisa Ruin the Patriarchy

Bad Moms? More like Sad Moms once Lisa Schmeiser gets through ripping it. Also, Phil reminisces about fits of pique by Charlton Heston and Dennis Boutsikaris.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


18

The Movies Ruin Phil and Lisa

Thanks to the generosity of a listener, Phil and Lisa watch “Burnt” and then resolve never to ask anything of listeners again.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


17

Phil and Lisa Ruin Pratfalls

Maybe Melissa McCarthy should just skip this episode.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


16

Snake Lady

Phil and Lisa ruin The Jungle Book and Gods of Egypt and hope against hope that Zoolander 2 and Hail Caesar will warm their curdled hearts.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


15

Phil and Lisa Ruin Superheroes

Ruining “X-Men: Apocalypse”, “Suicide Squad”, and “Captain America: Civil War.”

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


14

Team Whale

Phil and Lisa ruin “The Martian”, “Spectre”, “Jobs”, and “In the Heart of the Sea”.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


13

Ridley Squat

Phil and Lisa ruin “The Finest Hours,” “Everest,” “The Martian,” and Kevin Costner’s career—or wait, maybe Kevin Costner did that last one himself.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


12

Arguing for Epigenetic Inheritance

Phil and Lisa ruin “Jem and the Holograms” and “Ant-Man.”

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


11

Phil and Lisa Hate America

Paul Rudd goes method and builds an ant farm.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


10

Cereal Sommelier

Phil and Lisa ruin “Magic Mike XXL.”

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


9

Phil Ruins the Age of Ultron

Superhero movies and old actors and tangents.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


8

Some Days You Just Can’t Get Rid of a Bomb

Phil and Lisa ruin Batman movies, Batman TV shows, plus other superhero things.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


7

Phil and Lisa Ruin the 2015 Oscars

Phil hasn’t seen any of the Oscar nominees, because he hates watching movies with other people. Lisa has seen a few. But that isn’t going to stop them from ruining all the Oscar nominees. They’d ruin the Oscars themselves, but the Academy seems to have done a good job of that on its own…

(Apologies for the echoey audio quality of this episode. We’re working on improving the Schmeiser-Michaels home studio for future podcasts.)

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


6

Oprah Wrestles an Ocelot

In this issue, Phil and Lisa talk about “Into the Woods,” based on the musical. Phil is a big musical theater fan, and enjoys Sondheim, so this puts him in a difficult position. Plus, the presidents sing “Annie.”

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


5

Hallmark Holiday

Phil and Lisa ruin Christmas with their critiques of holiday movies from the Hallmark channel.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


4

The Safety Word is Garlic

Phil and Lisa refuse to ruin “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” because they refuse to acknowledge teaser trailers, but… they still spend 10 minutes talking about it. Then they ruin “50 Shades of Gray.” Lisa explains to Phil that the book started as “Twilight” fan fiction, which leads them down a deep, dark hole of “Twilight” details.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


3

Macking on the Triceratops

Phil and Lisa ruin “Jurassic World,” a movie nobody’s even seen! Also fantasy casting a “Day the Clown Cried” remake. Phil recalls women soccer players while Lisa admits to being a dinosaur nerd. Then Lisa uses her biology and business knowledge to debunk the entire premise of “Jurassic Park.”

There is also singing.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


2

Sir, It’s Burlesque

Phil and Lisa ruin “Sin City 2: A Dame to Kill For” and “Lucy.” Also: the original “Sin City,” “V” the miniseries, the politics of Latveria, “Dark Angel,” Walter the muppet, “Rock of Ages,” “The Last Starfighter,” “She’s Crafty,” Peanuts, Orson Welles, “Her,” “Match Point,” “Dancing With the Stars,” and fish sticks.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels


1

Purge Insurance

Philip Michaels and Lisa Schmeiser have spent hours speculating on the details of the movie “The Purge.” On the special occasion of the release of the sequel film, “The Purge: Anarchy,” we bring you a discussion about the logic of “The Purge” from two people who have not seen it, but will not let that stop them from ruining it for everyone else.

Lisa Schmeiser and Philip Michaels