<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<feed xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom">
    <title>The Incomparable</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/" />
    <link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/feedburner.xml" />
    <id>tag:www.theincomparable.com,2009-03-26:/22</id>
    <updated>2010-02-18T14:26:51Z</updated>
    <subtitle>Yes, we&apos;re that good.</subtitle>
    <generator uri="http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/">Movable Type 4.25</generator>

<entry>
    <title>And Now, Selected Thoughts About &quot;G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra&quot;</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2010/02/and-now-selected-thoughts-about-gi-joe-the-rise-of-cobra.html" />
    <id>tag:www.theincomparable.com,2010://22.9704</id>

    <published>2010-02-18T13:48:02Z</published>
    <updated>2010-02-18T14:26:51Z</updated>

    <summary>(As recently viewed on home video. Yes, by choice. Yes, I am a sad, sad man.)- I must confess grudging respect for any movie based on a line of jingoistic 1980s soldier toys that inexplicably opens in 1641 France, with...</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Nathan Alderman</name>
        <uri>http://www.theincomparable.com</uri>
    </author>
    
        <category term="Movies" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://www.theincomparable.com/">
        <![CDATA[<i>(As recently viewed on home video. Yes, by choice. Yes, I am a sad, sad man.)</i><div><i><br /></i></div><div>- I must confess grudging respect for any movie based on a line of jingoistic 1980s soldier toys that inexplicably opens in 1641 France, with a complicated tale of political intrigue. I'm guessing director Stephen Sommers still had some <i>Van Helsing</i> sets he hadn't gotten around to using.</div><div><br /></div><div>- Say, Christopher Eccleston: How's that decision to leave <i>Doctor Who</i> after 13 episodes working out for you? Wait, wait, before you answer, kindly take that chunk of scenery out of your mouth. (I kid because I love.)</div><div><br /></div><div>- Very strange product placement here. I wasn't aware that eight-year-old boys were in the target market for Cisco Telepresence or Norton Antivirus software. (Also, seriously, when you are raiding top-secret files from an underground terrorist bunker, do you really have time to run a Norton scan? Even a Norton scan that runs so quickly, it effectively qualifies as science fiction?)</div><div><br /></div><div>- I'm not sure which Hollywood mad scientist was able to teach a side of beef how to walk around saying stuff, but I'd like to know who thought it was a good idea to cast him as the lead in a big-budget summer blockbuster. Channing Tatum spends the entire movie with exactly one tone of voice (mono n' mumbly) and two facial expressions ("sleepy" and "vaguely hungry"). When it comes to acting range, the dude makes Eliza Dushku look like Meryl Streep.</div><div><br /></div><div>- Even when he's carving himself a great big ol' slice of cinematic ham, Joseph Gordon-Levitt can act better with one eye, under several pounds of latex, than Channing Tatum can with his entire body. Also, I'd like to humbly submit that this movie be retitled either <i>G.I. Joe: Joseph Gordon-Levitt Buys a House</i>, or <i>G.I. Joe: Because Indie Movies With Zooey Deschanel Don't Pay Squat</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>- For a movie ostensibly aimed at children, there are a surprising number of lethal eye injuries and decapitations-by-explosion.</div><div><br /></div><div>- The producers have shrewdly realized that it doesn't matter what dialogue they give Rachel Nichols, or how convincingly she delivers it, because no one will be paying any attention to that aspect of her performance anyway.</div><div><br /></div><div>- The relationship between Scarlett and Ripcord seems perfectly calibrated to the tastes of a prepubescent audience: Girls are scary but also sorta fascinating, and you should be nice to them, and it's OK if one of them kisses you a little bit as long as you don't get all mushy about it.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>- Sienna Miller's cleavage deserves higher billing than Sienna Miller, I think. It gets more screen time and makes more of an impression.</div><div><br /></div><div>- In all his scenes, Dennis Quaid looks distinctly like whatever he ate from Craft Services really did not agree with him.</div><div><br /></div><div>- Ladies and gentlemen, a big hand for the Stephen Sommers Players! I mean, Arnold Vosloo would turn up (and, to be fair, be pretty dang awesome) for a hot meal, and it's always great to see Kevin J. O'Connor ooze across the screen, but Brendan Fraser cameoing as Flint? He must have a lot of free time on his hands these days.</div><div><br /></div><div>- The only thing stopping Ray Park from being completely, stupidly awesome as Snake Eyes is that creepy Robocop mouth they've inexplicably molded into his mask. It makes him look all mopey and emo. Dear Producers: We aren't <i>supposed</i> to empathize with the creepy silent ninja badass.</div><div><br /></div><div>- Wait, why the hell do you even need a French particle accelerator to activate your weaponized nanomites? (Suddenly, I feel like Geordi LaForge for some reason.) Did they have a few million dollars left in the CGI and set budgets, and just go, "Eh, why not?"</div><div><br /></div><div>- I think the movie started to win me over when 10-year-old flashback versions of Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow beat the holy living hell out of each other -- actual blood! -- in a no-holds-barred kung fu battle. But I didn't fully surrender to its charms until the fast, whizzy, gloriously insane Paris chase scene. I'm sorry, but there are few things more certifiably awesome than a ninja riding an SUV while surfing over <i>entire automobiles</i> being thrown at him, as a pair of cyborgs and a hot chick on a motorcycle plow through traffic in hot pursuit. Especially if it all culminates in the destruction of the Eiffel Tower.</div><div><br /></div><div>- CGI polar bear. CGI POLAR BEAR. <b>CGI POLAR BEAR!</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div>- Despite being the guy stuck delivering technobabble in a not-very-good movie, Said Taghmaoui is pretty dang entertaining.</div><div><br /></div><div>- When did Mr. Eko become a gay soccer hooligan?</div><div><br /></div><div>- For a big, loud, stupid movie based on children's toys, this film can be shockingly competent. The big action scenes are coherently shot and never confusing, the flashbacks are effectively structured, some of the editing and stunt work is really quite good, and the finale manages to give each of the six (!) main characters something convincingly vital to do. It's a far better film than either of Michael Bay's <i>Transformers</i> movies -- and way less creepily fetishistic of the U.S. military to boot.</div><div><br /></div><div>- President Zartan? *slow clap* Oh, Stephen Sommers, I can almost forgive you for <i>Van Helsing</i> now. Almost.</div>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Sex! Gore! Subverted Expectations!</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2010/02/sex-gore-subverted-expectations.html" />
    <id>tag:www.theincomparable.com,2010://22.9703</id>

    <published>2010-02-06T00:31:52Z</published>
    <updated>2010-02-08T05:39:34Z</updated>

    <summary>At first glance, you&apos;d think that Starz&apos; new series Spartacus: Blood and Sand was a cheap, shameless attempt to cash in on the fast-waning popularity of 300 and Gladiator, with a heaping pile of man- and ladyflesh thrown in just...</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Nathan Alderman</name>
        <uri>http://www.theincomparable.com</uri>
    </author>
    
        <category term="Television" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://www.theincomparable.com/">
        <![CDATA[At first glance, you'd think that Starz' new series <i>Spartacus: Blood and Sand</i> was a cheap, shameless attempt to cash in on the fast-waning popularity of <i>300</i> and <i>Gladiator</i>, with a heaping pile of man- and ladyflesh thrown in just to one-up HBO's already tawdry <i>Rome</i>.<div><br /></div><div>And, well, you'd be exactly right. But also delightfully wrong.</div>]]>
        <![CDATA[<div>Executive producers Sam Raimi and Robert Tapert are no strangers to cheerfully cheesy, pectorals-intensive entertainment, and&nbsp;<i>Spartacus</i>&nbsp;won't win any awards for the originality of its premise. Hunktacular warrior dude loves his superhot wife, but is reluctantly called away to battle for the good of his people. Hunktacular warrior dude is betrayed by sleaze-weasel Roman general and branded a deserter. Hunktacular warrior dude escapes and is reunited with his superhot wife just in time for them to be captured (notably, while in the altogether) by sleaze-weasel Roman general. Sleaze-weasel Roman general sells hunktacular warrior dude into the employ of agreeably amoral gladiator owner. Hunktacular warrior dude must wage a muscly, well-oiled, tiny-pantsed struggle up the ranks of the gladiator circuit to find his beloved wife and gain his&nbsp;<i>whoa that guy just took a giant axe to the face!&nbsp;</i></div><div><br /></div><div><i></i>Also, gratuitous buckets of CGI blood spray, because, well, Frank Miller. (I'm waiting for the scene where someone gets a tiny paper cut, and the screen is covered by a sudden, composited-in fountain of crimson.)</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Spartacus</i>&nbsp;takes the censor-free liberty of pay cable and runs with it, and I'm not just talking about the copious, amusingly over-the-top amounts of limb-hacking and head-severing on display. Somewhere beyond "racy," beyond "risque," past "explicit" and even "Cinemax around 2 a.m.," there is the hallowed land known as "porntacular," and this is where <i>Spartacus</i> has, ahem, planted its flag.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>Before the first episode is even finished, you've become so inundated with jiggling ladybits that they seem no more exciting than the average hour of C-SPAN. By the time a gladiator's junk is on full and prolonged -- I was going to say "extended," but that carries a wholly unintended set of connotations-- display in episode two, you're more interested in the exposition he's delivering. The Romans, man; I guess they really liked their nudity.&nbsp;Fans of Lucy Lawless&nbsp;will at least be very, very pleased to see wonders they only dreamed of in the days of <i>Xena: Warrior Princess</i>.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>Still, the acting's surprisingly not-bad. As the title character -- Spartacus is his nom du guerre, and we haven't yet learned his real name -- Andy Whitfield repeatedly demonstrates that he can act with something other than his washboard abs. (OK, seriously, get your minds out of the gutter.) He won't win Emmys or anything, but he sells his pride, anger, and single-minded determination quite convincingly. John Hannah, always fun to watch, is typically great as Batiatus, the hustling, cash-strapped empressario who hopes to profit from Spartacus's talent for improvised amputations. And Lawless, as his wife and business partner, Lucretia, is in the same wonderfully slinky and devious form here that she showcased on&nbsp;<i>Battlestar Galactica</i>.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>Among the supporting cast, the standout is the magnetic Peter Mensah as Doctore, the ex-gladiator charged with whipping his musclebound troops into shape for arena combat. If he looks familiar, it's a testament to the sheer, shameless unoriginality of Raimi and friends. Mensah appeared in <i>300</i> as the messenger who receives a helpful geographic reminder from Gerard Butler, followed by a swift kick down a bottomless pit. He has more to do here, and does it quite well; then again, I've only seen bits of <i>300</i>, so maybe he gave the most convincing falling-into-a-pit performance ever captured on film.</div><div><br /></div><div>Yes, there's more than a little to snicker at about this show, even in the fleeting moments when everyone onscreen is actually wearing clothes. But <i>Spartacus </i>has a secret weapon under its toga (Out of the gutter! Seriously! Right now!) in the person of creator and head writer Steven S. DeKnight. A veteran of Joss Whedon's ever-growing legions, and also unfortunately <i>Smallville</i>, DeKnight knows that everyone and their aged grandmother has seen <i>Gladiator</i> and <i>300</i> by now. And he uses that knowledge against us, cleverly upending our expectations of how this sort of story is supposed to go.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the climactic battle of the first episode, Spartacus singlehandedly fillets four gladiators in the arena. Case closed: Our hero is an invincible badass, and thus begins his march to glory, right? Wrong. We promptly learn that he actually dispatched four ill-trained mooks. Against real fighters with training in one-on-one combat tactics, he's a particularly beefcake-y flavor of lunch meat.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>By episode three, impatient to earn his new master's favor (in hopes that it'll speed the search for his wife), he schemes his way successfully into a title bout against his biggest rival, Crixus, an undefeated braggart with a nasty disposition. Surely, our hero -- I was going to say "comes out on top," but the sheer weight of double entendre would have made the entire sentence collapse -- emerges victorious, right?&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>Nope. Spartacus gets his well-toned ass handed to him, disgraces himself by surrendering, and ends the episode absolutely and utterly screwed, from the looks of it. Even more intriguingly, every mistake he makes just keeps making life worse and worse for the people around him -- he's alienating the few friends he has among the gladiators, and leaving Batiatus even poorer for his troubles, and in increasingly worse favor with the powerful officials whose support he desperately needs. Spartacus is noble, honest, and dedicated to his wife, and we want him to succeed. Which makes watching him screw up massively kinda fascinating, and truly suspenseful.</div><div><br /></div><div>This unexpected depth doesn't stop at the hero, either. Crixus may be all macho swagger around Spartacus -- and, oh yes, boffing the living daylights out of Lawless's character, albeit reluctantly. But he turns to fumbly-phrased mush around a servant girl who's captured his heart, in startlingly sweet fashion. Varro, Spartacus's pal, is fighting to pay his debts and return to his own beloved wife. Knowing that makes the scene in which his masters force him to, um, rather forcefully acquaint himself with a random female slave, simply for the amusement of their party guests, unexpectedly poignant.</div><div><br /></div><div>And I'll give DeKnight and his writers credit where it's due -- they seem to have done their homework on daily life in ancient Rome, and they mine some terrific culture shock out of the things the Romans took for granted. (You will not <i>believe</i> the sort of, uh, deeply personal household tasks slaves are obliged to perform.)</div><div><br /></div><div>If ugly-bumping and limb-removing are supposed to be the main selling points of this show,&nbsp;DeKnight, Raimi, Tapert and co. have utterly failed at their apparent mission. The smart, capable, pleasantly surprising writing is the real draw here, and I have to admit that it's got me hooked. For all its blood, guts, boobs, and blatant unoriginality, this show's not half as dumb as it looks.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Hide the children at least a half-mile away from the television Fridays at 10 p.m. on Starz, and don't let them near the on-demand showings on Netflix's Watch Instantly service.</i></div>]]>
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>&quot;Caprica&quot;: Lifestyles of the Rich and Cybernetic</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2010/01/caprica-lifestyles-of-the-rich-and-cybernetic.html" />
    <id>tag:www.theincomparable.com,2010://22.9699</id>

    <published>2010-01-26T15:36:51Z</published>
    <updated>2010-01-27T04:00:43Z</updated>

    <summary>Let&apos;s be honest here: The first episode of Caprica, the much-ballyhooed spinoff of Ron Moore and David Eick&apos;s mostly amazing relaunch of Battlestar Galactica, is just OK. It&apos;s listless and a bit loopy for much of its first hour, displaying...</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Nathan Alderman</name>
        <uri>http://www.theincomparable.com</uri>
    </author>
    
        <category term="Television" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    <category term="caprica" label="caprica" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="cylons" label="cylons" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="fedoras" label="fedoras" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="ronalddmooresgalacticababies" label="ronald d. moore&apos;s galactica babies" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="syfy" label="syfy" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://www.theincomparable.com/">
        <![CDATA[<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><img alt="hatprica.jpg" src="http://www.theincomparable.com/hatprica.jpg" width="350" height="281" class="mt-image-right" style="float: right; margin: 0 0 20px 20px;" /></span>Let's be honest here: The first episode of <i>Caprica</i>, the much-ballyhooed spinoff of Ron Moore and David Eick's mostly amazing relaunch of <i>Battlestar Galactica</i>, is just OK. It's listless and a bit loopy for much of its first hour, displaying more of the noodly quasi-mystical elements that sandbagged the end of <i>Galactica</i> than the gut-wrenching moral and physical perils that defined the bulk of the series. But that's fine by me -- I still don't care much for the initial miniseries that brought <i>Galactica</i> back to TV, but the series shaped up quickly from there. And the way <i>Caprica</i>'s pilot picks up steam in its second hour leaves me intrigued enough to look forward to the rest of its first season.<br /><br />Fifty-eight years before a petulant robot Dean Stockwell will turn it and 11 other planets into smoldering nuclear craters, Caprica is a smugly wealthy enclave of power and privilege. Its inhabitants, many of whom seem blithely racist toward residents of less shiny planets, worship the same pantheon of Greek gods that got a lot of lip service in <i>Galactica</i>. They're pretty much like us, except for the occasional spaceship or virtual-reality "holoband." Capricans have TV shows, restaurants, cars, sporting events, and oh yes, religiously motivated terrorist bombings. Except in this case, the whacko fundamentalists have this crazy notion that instead of many gods, there's just one all-knowing, all-powerful deity with an ironclad grip on the notions of right and wrong.<br /> ]]>
        <![CDATA[Daniel Graystone (Eric Stoltz) is the Bill Gates of Caprica, a wealthy tycoon whose profits from inventing the holoband have apparently enabled him to buy a house the size of Rhode Island, complete with robo-butler, futuristic tennis court, and basement mad-scientist lab. His wife Amanda (Paula Malcolmson) is a doctor, which thus far just means that she sometimes shows up in a hospital while wearing scrubs, in between bouts of fretting and depression. (<i>Deadwood</i>&nbsp;vet Malcolmson's performance is typically excellent; the material given her in the pilot is really, really not.)&nbsp;<br /><br />Their 16-year-old daughter Zoe (Alessandra Toresani) is, well, pretty much a hateful brat. She does one selfless, kind thing in the entire two-hour pilot, which just barely makes you feel sorry for her when her plan to run away with her monotheist boyfriend to another planet is slightly derailed by her boyfriend's plan to blow up himself, her, and a trainful of people in the name of the One True God.<br /><br />Meanwhile, in another, far more interesting television show, Joe Adama (Esai Morales) is a morally conflicted mob lawyer who wears really awesome '50s-style suits. He's an orphaned immigrant from Tauron in a society brimming with anti-Tauron racists; one of the show's greatest successes is its intriguing portrayal of Tauron culture, which manages to feel familiar and truly alien all at once. Joe tries very hard to be a good guy, which is complicated somewhat by the scary tattooed mobsters for whom he works. One of said scary mobsters is his brother Sam (Sasha Roiz), an incongruously likeable wiseguy who reminds one of Adrien Brody, if Adrien Brody were buff, tatted out, and prone to stabbing the guy who played The Cigarette-Smoking Man to death. Hi, William B. Davis! You are just as menacing as ever, and twice as leathery.<br /><br />Joe's wife and daughter happen to be on the same ill-fated train as Zoe, leaving Joe with just one family member left: His 11-year-old son Billy, who 58 years hence will become a certain growly, paternal commander of the&nbsp;<i>Galactica</i>. The kid playing Billy is not the worst child actor in history, and since he's not the focus of the series, the whole conceit of The Adventures of the Lil' Old Man is a lot more fun than it has any right to be. Except now I fervently want to see Billy pal around with a surly, drunken, grade-school-aged Saul Tigh.<br /><br />In the Too Much of a Sort of OK Thing department, there's a third storyline involving some tedious nonsense about a sinister schoolmistress (Polly Walker) with monotheist leanings, and her manipulation of Zoe's weak-willed idiot best friend. Yawn. Fast-forward.<br /><br />Daniel and Joe initially meet out of their mutual loss and grief, but get drawn closer together after Daniel discovers that Zoe was a computer genius who'd created a virtual copy of herself in cyberspace. Zoe 2.0 has all her meatware twin's memories, feelings, and emotions, not to mention her progenitor's scarily fervent teenage-girl belief in the One True God.&nbsp;<br /><br />Daniel enlists Joe to use his mob ties to steal a processor developed by a rival corporation -- a processor that can not only whip his company's amusingly clunky attempt at a killer robot into shape, but resurrect his daughter's digital clone in that robot body. (Yeah,&nbsp;<i>that</i>'s going to end well.) In return, Daniel promises to use Zoe's tech to virtually revive Joe's daughter Tamara.<br /><br />Joe fulfills his end of the bargain, which is where things finally start to get interesting. In one brief and very well-acted scene, the show does a fantastic job of highlighting why being brought back to digital life as a half-complete copy of yourself might not be the best idea. ("Daddy, I can't feel my heartbeat!&nbsp;<i>Why can't I feel my heartbeat?</i>" Brrrr.) And the subsequent gunfire-intensive birth of the first working Cylon succeeds in generating real goosebumps, even if you could see it coming a mile off. By the time said Cylon rose, Frankenstein-style, from its lab table with Zoe's soul at the controls, I was considerably more interested in seeing where this show would head next.<br /><br />Esai Morales is thus far the series' MVP. He does an eerily great job of echoing Edward James Olmos's turn on&nbsp;<i>Galactica</i>, and manages to sell Joe's anguish, dignity, and moral conflict without ever getting too overwrought. Also? He looks way cool in a fedora.&nbsp;<br /><br />The interplay between him and Stoltz also works well, and Stoltz does a heroic job investing some humanity into his woefully thin character. I'm having trouble separating my evaluation of Torresani's acting from her obnoxious twit of a character, but she does bring an interesting blend of vulnerability, arrogance, and subtle creepiness to the role.<br /><br />Another promising sign: Post-pilot, Moore and Eick ditched co-creator Remi Aubuchon and put the writing in the far more capable hands of Whedonverse vet Jane Espenson. Yes, she wrote the hugely disappointing, fan-fictiony mess that was&nbsp;<i>Battlestar Galactica: The Plan</i>. But even that wad of needless continuity porn had a few compellingly written scenes. More notably, she wrote a bunch of fantastic episodes for&nbsp;<i>Galactica</i>, not to mention her sterling body of Whedon-affiliated work.<br /><br />Also in the good-news column: impending recurring roles for the ever-more-awesome Patton Oswalt, and -- I'll just pause here a moment to allow for all the fangirl squeeing -- James Marsters, who is consistently a far better actor than his hunky dreamboat status among the ranks of lonely Midwestern housewives would suggest.<br /><br />Going forward, I hope&nbsp;<i>Caprica</i>&nbsp;can be less about the sort of tedious rich-people domestic drama we've seen a billion times before on other shows, and more about the way a series of understandable human choices become the drumbeat that leads to Armageddon. And I'm admittedly amused, and intrigued, by what appears to be Moore and Eick's core message for this show and&nbsp;<i>Galactica</i>. In both, it seems, the apocalypse is unleashed by a spoiled child acting out because mommy and daddy didn't love him/her enough. This is the way the world ends -- not with a bang, but with a whiner.<br /><br /><i>Killer robots text their friends, go to the mall, and complain about how life is, like, totally unfair Friday nights at 9/8 central on SyFy.&nbsp;</i>]]>
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Just So You Know We&apos;re Still Alive</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2009/12/just-so-you-know-were-still-alive.html" />
    <id>tag:www.theincomparable.com,2009://22.9696</id>

    <published>2009-12-03T16:18:14Z</published>
    <updated>2009-12-03T16:49:16Z</updated>

    <summary>Well, most of us, as far as I know. Anyone heard from Rywalt in a while? (I kid, I kid.) Some quick observations about televisual stuff:- I begin to suspect that Glee creator Ryan Murphy has a split personality. Evil...</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Nathan Alderman</name>
        <uri>http://www.theincomparable.com</uri>
    </author>
    
        <category term="Television" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://www.theincomparable.com/">
        <![CDATA[Well, most of us, as far as I know. Anyone heard from Rywalt in a while? (I kid, I kid.) Some quick observations about televisual stuff:<br /><br />- I begin to suspect that <i>Glee</i> creator Ryan Murphy has a split personality. Evil Ryan Murphy loves to create shows stocked with shrill, hateful stereotypes at which he can point and laugh, take cheap shots, and feel smugly superior. He then makes them do inane things in the name of ginning up cheap drama. Good Ryan Murphy loves to peel back those characters' vile and aggravating facades to reveal the honest humanity beneath, in subtle, impressive, and occasionally heart-tugging ways. <br /><br />Evil Murphy seemed to be winning the coin toss in <i>Glee</i>'s initial episodes -- apparently, deciding to start an early '90s cover band magically turns you into a total jerk, but only for an hour or so -- but Good Murphy's been coming back strong lately. And for a show that proudly tries to be a bastion of sweetness and light, last night's long-overdue confrontation between nice-guy music teacher Will Schuester and his godawful wife Terri about the pregnancy she'd been (lamely and improbably) faking was ugly and frightening in all the very best ways. I just wish the show would at least occasionally remember that the minority members of its cast, you know, <i>exist</i>.<br /><br />At least Jane Lynch's Sue Sylvester is flat-out awesome, a walking cauldron of leathery, tracksuited malice in human form. Consistently hilarious, and with believable and almost sympathetic motives beneath her cartoon villainy, she seems to be gunning hard for a Best Supporting Actress Emmy this year -- and deservedly so.<br /><br />- The folks behind USA's <i>White Collar</i> seem to be taking the "amiable" part of the network's "amiable procedurals with larger-than-life characters" mission a bit too much to heart. I only wish the show's plots, characterization, and dialogue were as snappy as Matthew Bomer's wardrobe. The writers seem too content to let con man Neil Caffrey coast on Bomer's innate charm and near-preposterous good looks, rather than giving him a personality beyond, "I steal stuff! And I'm handsome!" (Seriously, for a guy hellbent on finding his missing girlfriend, the dude will flirt with a seemingly endless parade of hot ladies at the drop of a vintage '50s Sinatra-style hat.) <br /><br />I like Tim DeKay's grumbly, frumpy, regular-Joe FBI guy, and he and Bomer have good rapport. But <i>The Middleman</i>'s Natalie Morales is pretty much wasted as Generic Attractive Lady Who's Only in the Show for the Rakish Antihero to Banter With. I keep wishing her earnest, Eisenhower-jacketed employer from her previous series would turn up to spirit her off to solve some far more exciting case that didn't involve, I don't know, forged bearer bonds or something.<br /><br />I hear rumbles that a big swerve is coming in next week's fall finale. If it's what I think it is, good. The show needs a shot of adrenalin, and some actual wit and verve. It wants to be champagne and caviar, but it comes across more like Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.<br /><br />- <i>Community</i> keeps getting better every week, combining insane hilarity, unexpected character development, and startlingly effective moments of real pathos. And if you missed Danny Pudi's dead-on impersonation of Christian Bale's Batman in the Halloween episode, get thee to Hulu posthaste.<br /><br />- Good shows in need of your viewership are returning to the airwaves this week. Joss Whedon's DOA <i>Dollhouse </i>begins to burn off its final nine episodes Friday, and if history -- and its last two top-notch episodes -- have taught us anything, it's that Whedon shows tend to get really good right before they're prematurely cancelled. Also, the show is now fortified with your recommended weekly allowance of Summer Glau, which is never a bad thing. And ABC's awesome, ratings-challenged <i>Better Off Ted</i> returns to a somewhat dismal time slot after whatever's left of <i>Scrubs</i>. It's funny. You should watch it. Case closed.<br />]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Fun with HD</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2009/10/fun-with-hd.html" />
    <id>tag:www.theincomparable.com,2009://22.9685</id>

    <published>2009-10-24T01:09:36Z</published>
    <updated>2009-10-24T01:34:49Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[A few months ago I got my first HDTV, a nice big 50-inch Samsung plasma.&nbsp; It's only 720p but it was on sale (since plasmas are being discontinued).Until recently I didn't have any true HD sources.&nbsp; I have my PC...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Christopher Rywalt</name>
        <uri>http://www.theincomparable.com</uri>
    </author>
    
        <category term="Movies" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
        <category term="Television" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://www.theincomparable.com/">
        <![CDATA[<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><img alt="tivo_logo_print.jpg" src="http://www.theincomparable.com/tivo_logo_print.jpg" class="mt-image-left" style="margin: 0pt 20px 20px 0pt; float: left;" height="93" width="61" /></span>A few months ago I got my first HDTV, a nice big 50-inch Samsung plasma.&nbsp; It's only 720p but it was on sale (since plasmas are being discontinued).<br /><br />Until recently I didn't have any true HD sources.&nbsp; I have my PC hooked up to it and it does some silly resolution like 1600x1200 or something, but it's run through the analog VGA port and so not really true HD.&nbsp; It looks lovely, but it's not as good as it can get.&nbsp; Also, I don't have a remote control for the damned thing.<br /><br />Last week I finally went ahead and sprung for a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/TiVo-TCD652160-Digital-Video-Recorder/dp/B000RZDBM2">TiVo HD</a> and Verizon FiOS.&nbsp; Now I have true HD through the HDMI port.&nbsp; Even at only 720p, it's still excellent.<br /><div><br />Some notes now that I've been watching true HD:<br /><br /><span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://www.theincomparable.com/eva_mendes.jpg"><img alt="eva_mendes.jpg" src="http://www.theincomparable.com/assets_c/2009/10/eva_mendes-thumb-300x436-79.jpg" class="mt-image-left" style="margin: 0pt 20px 20px 0pt; float: left;" height="436" width="300" /></a></span><ul><li>Plus:&nbsp; I can actually watch sports.&nbsp; Football and baseball are really interesting now that I can see what's going on.&nbsp; We've watched the NLCS and ALCS games over the past week and they've been great.&nbsp; On the instant replay you can even see how the pitcher is holding and releasing the ball.&nbsp; You can clearly see when a player gets spiked.&nbsp; Very cool.&nbsp; (Also:&nbsp; Watching the Yankees play L.A. I couldn't help but wonder, do white people play baseball any more?)</li><li>Minus:&nbsp; I can now get a really good look at things no one should have to see.&nbsp; I watched "Ghost Rider" the other day.&nbsp; Lots of guys think Eva Mendes is hot.&nbsp; In HD, she looks like a transvestite.&nbsp; She practically has an adam's apple.</li><li>Neither:&nbsp; If you watch <i>The Price Is Right</i> in HD, when they reveal some awesomely shiny appliance, you can see the camera and crew reflected in the enamel.</li></ul></div>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Dolls in the Attic?</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2009/10/dolls-in-the-attic.html" />
    <id>tag:www.theincomparable.com,2009://22.9681</id>

    <published>2009-10-05T12:53:50Z</published>
    <updated>2009-10-06T02:30:10Z</updated>

    <summary> I&apos;ve been watching the ratings for the new TV season, and it looks like the numbers for everything are down, down, down. (Except Big Bang Theory, for some reason, and hey, good for it. I can only hope that...</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Nathan Alderman</name>
        <uri>http://www.theincomparable.com</uri>
    </author>
    
        <category term="Television" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://www.theincomparable.com/">
        <![CDATA[ <span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><img alt="echo.jpg" src="http://www.theincomparable.com/echo.jpg" width="351" height="285" class="mt-image-right" style="float: right; margin: 0 0 20px 20px;" /></span><div>I've been watching the ratings for the new TV season, and it looks like the numbers for everything are down, down, down. (Except <i>Big Bang Theory</i>, for some reason, and hey, good for it. I can only hope that America has learned to laugh <i>with</i> nerds, and not <i>at</i> them.) Unfortunately, &nbsp;while Joss Whedon's <i>Dollhouse</i> hasn't fallen as far as some more popular series, it didn't have as much -- or any -- room to fall in the first place.</div><div><br /></div><div>The season's second episode scored a miserable 0.8 rating, down from the premiere's already baseline 1.0 -- and this for a show that was one of the lowest-rated series ever renewed. Sure, you can blame Fox, and not without justification, for slapping the show in its traditional Friday Night Death Slot, and giving it the inexplicable lead-in of a terrible sitcom (<i>'Til Death</i>) and an even worse sitcom (<i>Brothers</i>, and seriously, Mitchell Hurwitz, what happened to you?). Oh, if only Fox had another reasonably popular science fiction show it didn't exile to Friday nights, one that might make a natural combination with <i>Dollhouse</i> and bring up its numbers! Say, something in a J.J. Abrams? But that's just crazy talk.</div><div><br /></div><div>Still, to be honest, <i>Dollhouse</i>'s somewhat listless and half-hearted season premiere is probably as much to blame for the ratings drop as the vile denizens of the Fox Marketing Department. (Motto: "At least we're not the NBC Marketing Department.") <br /><br />On any of his other shows, a Whedon-penned and -directed episode would be event watching. But the episodes Whedon's made for <i>Dollhouse</i> have felt distracted and unfocused. Last year's "Man on the Street" was helped hugely by an amazing turn from guest star Patton Oswalt, as this season's premiere was by a terrifically written and acted showdown between Fran Kranz's mind-manipulating programmer and Amy Acker as one of his creations. But on the whole, Whedon just seemed to be going through the motions in "Vows," with yet another Echo-glitching-on-an-assignment case. And while the jury's still out on whether Eliza Dushku can consistently act as well as her costars, giving her an endless progression of identical tough-sexy-chick characters to play doesn't really help settle the question.</div><div><br /></div><div>If you, like my brother and apparently a whole bunch of other people, tuned out after Whedon's "Vows," however, you might want to give the show a second (or third, or fourth) look. Last Friday's "Instinct" was, if not riveting, a huge improvement on the premiere. Michele Fazekas and Tara Butters, creators of <i>Reaper</i>, crafted a very cleverly written thriller that made excellent use of the gap between what the characters knew and what the audience knew. Their episode begins like a horror film, and ends like a horror film, but the victim and the menace switch roles over the course of the episode -- a neat trick, pulled off well. All in all, it was a much better example of what the show's capable of. Next week's contribution from Tim Minear, who wrote last season's terrific capper "Omega," is also looking good.<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I'm not sure why Whedon seems to have lost a good chunk of his mojo. Perhaps he's just coming from a more despairing place than he was during his previous shows. On second viewing, the whole first season of <i>Dollhouse</i> is rife with images of women in cages, literal or metaphorical. Buffy and Angel regularly prevented the apocalypse, and the crew of <i>Serenity</i>&nbsp;at least avenged and absolved it. But the events of last season's "Epitath One" reveal that in <i>Dollhouse</i>, the end of the world is an unavoidable certainty -- and we're following the people who will make it happen. Though it has brief flashes of the humor that used to permeate Whedon's work, <i>Dollhouse</i> is thus far not as funny or joyful, and it has a lot less faith in humanity. If anything, it's <i>angry</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>But <i>Dollhouse</i> is a smart, carefully crafted, well-acted show, the kind people always say they want more of on television, but rarely bother to watch. The show's asked its viewers for a lot of faith, and it's still asking. I just can't shake the gut feeling that it'll eventually reward that faith. Then again, if the ratings stay this subterranean, that question may be purely academic.</div>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>&quot;Community&quot;: A Solid B+</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2009/09/community-a-solid-b.html" />
    <id>tag:www.theincomparable.com,2009://22.9553</id>

    <published>2009-09-17T16:13:10Z</published>
    <updated>2009-09-17T17:26:15Z</updated>

    <summary>Before you judge Dan Harmon, know this: The man has done terrible things in the name of comedy. In his five-minute Web shorts for the ahead-of-its-time site Channel 101, Harmon has played sidekick to an underwear-clad Jack Black, farted lasers...</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Nathan Alderman</name>
        <uri>http://www.theincomparable.com</uri>
    </author>
    
        <category term="Television" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://www.theincomparable.com/">
        <![CDATA[Before you judge Dan Harmon, know this: The man has done terrible things in the name of comedy. <br /><br />In his five-minute Web shorts for the ahead-of-its-time site <a href="http://channel101.com/">Channel 101</a>, Harmon has played sidekick to an <a href="http://www.channel101.com/shows/show.php?show_id=1">underwear-clad Jack Black</a>, farted lasers as the world's <a href="http://www.channel101.com/shows/show.php?show_id=58">least likely superhero</a>, and pretended to be <a href="http://www.channel101.com/shows/view.php?media_id=2670">Hannah Montana</a>, complete with a blonde wig and a bright yellow mumu. (You probably don't want to watch that last link at work, or while eating, or, you know, <i>ever</i>.) But no matter how absurd the situations he's put himself and others in, Harmon's consistently demonstrated a rock-solid understanding of the fundamentals of good writing.<br /><br />I'm glad to see that moving up to the network big leagues hasn't changed that. <i>Community</i>, Harmon's new series for NBC, may be less outrageous than his Channel 101 skits, but it's no less funny or well-scripted. The pilot never actually made me laugh out loud, but its clever characters, fun performances, and witty dialogue had me grinning throughout. <br /> ]]>
        <![CDATA[Joel McHale is Jeff, a hotshot lawyer whose knack for lying
unfortunately extends to his college degree. When his bogus diploma
comes to light, he's exiled to community college to earn a real one, or
stay disbarred forever. That he promptly attempts to start scamming his
way through this new ordeal somehow doesn't make his character less
endearing. McHale's a fairly charming guy with good comic timing, and
since Jeff's selfishness ultimately harms no one but himself, it's easy
to root for him -- and simultaneously enjoy watching his plans go
horribly awry.<br />
<br />
Jeff immediately sets his sights on scoring with Britta (Gillian
Jacobs), a foxy coed who's shrewder than he knows. He invites her to a
bogus "study group" for Spanish class -- never mind that he knows
nothing about Spanish, and is equally unclear about the mechanics of
this whole "studying" thing. But she turns his gambit against him by
inviting a motley cadre of fellow students along. Suddenly, his attempt
to get into her pants has become an amusingly escalating battle of
wits, pitting his ability to b.s. against her ability to see right
through it. <br />
<br />
For a show about a truly rotten guy, <i>Community</i> is surprisingly
generous and big-hearted. It's got real sympathy for the oddballs and
losers who crowd into Jeff's study group. On the surface, they may be
slightly delusional, but underneath, they're all trying to make amends
for screwing up their own lives. <br />
<br />
While some new ensemble shows neglect the more interesting corners of
their casts in favor of lavishing love on the pretty people -- ahem, <i>Glee</i> -- everyone on <i>Community</i>
gets at least a brief moment to shine, and an interesting, well-rounded
character to play. And it's funny and delightful to see a genuinely
diverse bunch of characters bounce off each other in unexpected ways. I
particularly liked the unlikely camaraderie that develops between Chevy
Chase's sleazy, aging tycoon and Donald Glover's ex-football hero.<br />
<br />
There are a lot of reasons why <i>Community</i> works. The
scene-stealing prowess of Danny Pudi, as the deeply Aspergers-afflicted
Abed, doesn't hurt; nor does the always funny John Oliver's recurring
role as Jeff's friend on the faculty. But ultimately, I liked the pilot
best for where it takes Jeff by the end of the episode. Seeing him
realize that he wants to be a better person, even if he isn't sure
exactly how to do so, is surprisingly moving. <br />
<br />
Dan Harmon may have done terrible things in the name of comedy, but <i>Community </i>isn't one of them. Sweet, clever, and truly funny, it's a worthy addition to the likes of <i>The Office</i> and <i>30 Rock</i>, and I hope it enjoys their same level of success.<br />
<br />
<i>Absolutely no one wears an ill-fitting mumu -- we hope -- Thursday nights at 9:30 ET on NBC.</i>]]>
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Fox, Despite Best Efforts, Fails to Cancel Worthy Show. (Yet.)</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2009/09/fox-despite-best-efforts-fails-to-cancel-worthy-show-yet.html" />
    <id>tag:www.theincomparable.com,2009://22.9542</id>

    <published>2009-09-14T13:36:07Z</published>
    <updated>2009-09-14T13:46:31Z</updated>

    <summary>Sit Down Shut Up, the doomed-from-the-get-go animated sitcom from Arrested Development creator Mitchell Hurwitz, lasted all of four episodes last spring before Fox yanked it from the schedule. (Its replacement, King of the Hill reruns, was admittedly not as much...</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Nathan Alderman</name>
        <uri>http://www.theincomparable.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://www.theincomparable.com/">
        <![CDATA[<i><a href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2009/05/sit-down-shut-up-tune-in.html">Sit Down Shut Up</a></i>, the doomed-from-the-get-go animated sitcom from <i>Arrested Development</i> creator Mitchell Hurwitz, lasted all of four episodes last spring before Fox yanked it from the schedule. (Its replacement, <i>King of the Hill</i> reruns, was admittedly not as much of an insult as, say, <i>American Dad</i> reruns.)&nbsp;<div><br /></div><div>But Fox, apparently deciding it hadn't dug the tip of his boot quite deep enough into Hurwitz's kidneys, has now inexplicably but happily brought the show back to burn off its remaining 8 or so episodes.</div><div><br /></div><div>On Saturday nights. At midnight. With next to nothing resembling promotion or publicity. Thanks, Fox!</div><div><br /></div><div>My local Fox affiliate doesn't even carry the new episodes. Thankfully, <a href="http://www.hulu.com/sit-down-shut-up">Hulu does</a>, starting with an episode that riffs hilariously (and in a deeply wrong fashion) on costar Will Arnett's all-too-brief gig as the voice of KITT 2.0 in the horrible revival of <i>Knight Rider</i>. The show's still crammed with lighting-paced gags of every stripe, still gleefully inventive in its wordplay and its willingness to shatter the fourth wall, and still filled with loathsome characters in whose misery one can easily delight.</div><div><br /></div><div>Do yourself a favor -- watch it now, so that when <i>Sit Down Shut Up</i> is a beloved cult classic on Adult Swim a few years from now, and everyone's talking about how it just never found the audience it deserved, you'll have the necessary cred to nod knowingly and say, "I've been saying that for <i>years</i>."</div>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Sex Decoy:  TV Stinks</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2009/08/sex-decoy-tv-stinks.html" />
    <id>tag:www.theincomparable.com,2009://22.9508</id>

    <published>2009-08-31T22:47:20Z</published>
    <updated>2009-08-31T23:20:55Z</updated>

    <summary> I saw my second part-episode of Sex Decoy: Love Stings last night. If you cringe at the pun in the title then you&apos;ve pretty much felt what it&apos;s like to watch the show, only shorter. It&apos;s one of the...</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Christopher Rywalt</name>
        <uri>http://www.theincomparable.com</uri>
    </author>
    
        <category term="Television" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    <category term="adulterers" label="adulterers" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="hookers" label="hookers" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="lousyrealitytv" label="lousy reality TV" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="sexdecoylovestings" label="Sex Decoy: Love Stings" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="strippers" label="strippers" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://www.theincomparable.com/">
        <![CDATA[<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://www.theincomparable.com/assets_c/2009/08/sex_decoy-66.html" onclick="window.open('http://www.theincomparable.com/assets_c/2009/08/sex_decoy-66.html','popup','width=604,height=547,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0'); return false"><img src="http://www.theincomparable.com/assets_c/2009/08/sex_decoy-thumb-302x273-66.jpg" width="302" height="273" alt="sex_decoy.jpg" class="mt-image-center" style="text-align: center; display: block; margin: 0 auto 20px;" /></a></span><p>
I saw my second part-episode of <i>Sex Decoy: Love Stings</i> last night.  If you cringe at the pun in the title then you've pretty much felt what it's like to watch the show, only shorter.  It's one of the most painfully dreadful things I've seen in a long time.  I've said before that reality TV is all about making viewers feel better about themselves because at least they're not THOSE PEOPLE.  But this time I think it may be about making viewers feel worse because THOSE PEOPLE are really of the same species.
</p>
<p>
The show follows Sandra and her three daughters who are named Kashmir, Jasmine and Xanadu.  If you name your daughters that way you've got to know they're going to grow up to be strippers, and sure enough two of the three are!  The third is still underage.
</p>
<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><img alt="Jasmine and Xanadu.JPG" src="http://www.theincomparable.com/sex_decoy/Jasmine%20and%20Xanadu.JPG" width="478" height="359" class="mt-image-left" style="margin: 0pt 20px 20px 0pt; float: left;" /></span>
<p>
So Sandra is trying to get the girls more involved in her business, which is being paid by insecure women to set traps catching their cheating men on video.  Apparently there's a whole industry devoted to sending ridiculously hot, slutty women to seduce unfortunate schlubs while their jealous beady-eyed soulmates watch on hidden camera.  And it's much more respectable than taking your clothes off onstage.  Maybe.
</p>
<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><img alt="Back the Camera Up a Tad.JPG" src="http://www.theincomparable.com/sex_decoy/Back%20the%20Camera%20Up%20a%20Tad.JPG" width="478" height="359" class="mt-image-left" style="float: left; margin: 0 20px 20px 0;" /></span>
<p>
During the first show we watched, this woman sent the team after her boyfriend/husband person, the lead singer in a bar band.  Good lord, where did these people grow up?  If your man is the lead singer in a bar band, <i>he is fucking other women</i>.  That's <i>why</i> men join bar bands.  So she hired Sandra's company which hired some hilariously hot chick to pose as a rock journalist and come on to the singer as hard as humanly possible.
</p>
<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><img alt="Sandra Working Hard.JPG" src="http://www.theincomparable.com/sex_decoy/Sandra%20Working%20Hard.JPG" width="479" height="361" class="mt-image-left" style="float: left; margin: 0 20px 20px 0;" /></span>
<p>
As this was unfolding on our TV, I told my long-suffering wife that she could save her money if she ever considered hiring this company:  If a woman that far above my pay grade ever came on to me like that, I'd totally fall for it.  Any man would, let alone a guy in a band.  No contest.  It's totally unfair.
</p>
<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><img alt="Stripper Face.JPG" src="http://www.theincomparable.com/sex_decoy/Stripper%20Face.JPG" width="479" height="360" class="mt-image-left" style="float: left; margin: 0 20px 20px 0;" /></span>
<p>
In the second one, they sent one of the daughters -- her first undercover assignment as a ravenous slut, although I guess as a stripper she had some experience -- after this guy working in his music studio.  She showed up at the door saying she was lost and needed to use the bathroom, then she settled in and began tempting him into meeting her at a party later for a threesome -- including anal.
</p>
<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><img alt="Alien Vampire Robot Monster.JPG" src="http://www.theincomparable.com/sex_decoy/Alien%20Vampire%20Robot%20Monster.JPG" class="mt-image-left" style="margin: 0pt 20px 20px 0pt; float: left;" width="459" height="359" /></span>
<p>
Clearly the guy has never left his house because anyone who's seen movies like "Species" or "Lifeforce" or any of a hundred other titles would know when a ridiculously gorgeous woman -- or even a skanky stripper -- comes on to you out of nowhere, your choices explaining what's going on are a) you've inexplicably, suddenly, and surprisingly become vastly more attractive to the opposite sex or b) she's an alien/vampire/killer robot who's going to eat you before you come.
</p>
<p>
In this case she was bait in a trap where your wife will run in, slap you upside your cheating head, and berate your tiny penis in front of the whole world, or anyway in front of the infinitesmal fraction of the world that watches this trashy, trashy show.
</p>
<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><img alt="Success Party.JPG" src="http://www.theincomparable.com/sex_decoy/Success%20Party.JPG" width="482" height="358" class="mt-image-left" style="float: left; margin: 0 20px 20px 0;" /></span>
<p>
I can't say what made me watch this aside from the fact that every other channel I turned to at the time was running commericals.  Honestly, I tried uplifting, educational programs before settling on this one.  Still, I watched it.  You'd think maybe it's worth it for the prurient shots of the stripper daughters and the wildly over-made-up surgically enhanced mother, but in fact any time the camera gets closer to any of them you start wishing they'd pull back a bit, like when you get a glimpse of that hot chick down the block so you go out of your way to walk over for a closer look and realize she's not so much a hot chick as a fifty-year-old meth addict chain-smoking outside because her mother's inside on oxygen.
</p>
<p>
I suppose the other attraction of the show is watching the evil scumbag cheating men get their public comeuppance -- Sandra comes across as having some serious issues with the male of the species, always raving about their "coming clean" and so on -- except I don't see these guys as being especially evil scumbags, just regular guys I probably wouldn't like very much but who are only trying to live their crappy little lives.  I feel bad for them, surrounded as they are by jealous, nasty harpies who lead them on with promises of anal sex and then morph into slimy space creatures and eat them.
</p>
<p>
Although, honestly, I feel much worse for myself, since I watched the show.
</p>
]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Past the Point of Humor</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2009/08/past-the-point-of-humor.html" />
    <id>tag:www.theincomparable.com,2009://22.9504</id>

    <published>2009-08-22T16:02:28Z</published>
    <updated>2009-08-22T16:19:08Z</updated>

    <summary> I&apos;m driving north on the New Jersey Turnpike and I&apos;m thinking. I should back up a bit to give you an idea of the kind of day I&apos;d been having. The night before my wife arrived home after grocery...</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Christopher Rywalt</name>
        <uri>http://www.theincomparable.com</uri>
    </author>
    
        <category term="Theater" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://www.theincomparable.com/">
        <![CDATA[ <p>
I'm driving north on the New Jersey Turnpike and I'm thinking.
</p>
<p>
I should back up a bit to give you an idea of the kind of day I'd been having.
</p>
<p>
The night before my wife arrived home after grocery shopping on her way home from a hard day at work to find me sitting and playing Battle Tetris.  She had no way of knowing, of course, that I hadn't been doing that all day; in fact I'd spent the day laboriously scrubbing the last layer of lead-based oil paint from the 80-year-old chestnut window trim in our daughter's bedroom while juggling increasingly energetic calls from a recruiter desperately trying to set me up with an interview in less than 24 hours.  She couldn't see that.  This was like throwing an M80 into the litter box of her usual bitchiness.  My wife began to slam things and scream, calling me a fat lazy asshole, and so forth, and my daughter began crying, "Do you see what you did?" until I finally fled to the local multiplex where I sat through <i>Used Cars</i>, I mean, <i>The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard</i>, which was not exactly an uplifting experience.
</p>
<p>
The next day, in the time before I had to get ready for my sudden interview, I scrubbed another incremental area of the lead-based oil paint, then went looking for my suit.  My suit was missing.  Just gone.  No idea where it could've ended up.  Simply not in the closet.  So I pulled out my back-up pair of dress pants only to be cruelly reminded when I tried to button them that I'd put on forty pounds since I bought the back-up dress pants.
</p>
<p>
At this inopportune moment the bathroom called to me most urgently.  In the midst of that operation, my middle finger punched right through the paper and up into an area where no middle finger should be.
</p>
<p>
After another thorough washing I commenced to search for my suit, which I finally found rolled in a ball in the corner of the entry hallway to the house, waiting vainly to be taken to the dry cleaners since the last time I wore it six months earlier.  A quick steam iron to get rid of the wrinkles and I was ready to go and wait for my wife to return with the car fifteen minutes late.
</p>
<p>
The interview was a complete disaster, terrible, a horrible, colossal waste of time.  It made me absolutely certain that I am completely, utterly unemployable in my now-former career as a computer programmer specializing in Perl.
</p>
<p>
After all of that, I am driving north on the New Jersey Turnpike and thinking.  I'm singing along with Wayne Coyne as he croons, "Is to love just a waste? And why does it matter?" and I'm thinking, yes, it is just a waste, it doesn't matter, nothing matters.
</p>
<p>
</p><span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><img alt="playbill_2051_320169052.gif" src="http://www.theincomparable.com/playbill_2051_320169052.gif" class="mt-image-left" style="margin: 0pt 20px 20px 0pt; float: left;" width="200" height="200" /></span><p>Just at that moment I look up and see a billboard for The Toxic Avenger Musical and I realize:  This planet, as it exists right at this moment, is beyond satire.
</p><div><br /></div>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>In Which I Am Filled With Confidence Regarding ABC&apos;s &quot;Comedy Wednesdays&quot;</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2009/08/in-which-i-am-filled-with-confidence-regarding-abcs-comedy-wednesdays.html" />
    <id>tag:www.theincomparable.com,2009://22.6451</id>

    <published>2009-08-13T19:54:25Z</published>
    <updated>2009-08-14T04:41:42Z</updated>

    <summary>So the other night, while watching the season&apos;s final episodes of the still-awesome-and-actually-sorta-getting-even-better Better Off Ted, I saw this: Bad enough that the impending denizens of ABC&apos;s &quot;Comedy Wednesday&quot; shuffle shamefacedly into their new fake house with all the confidence...</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Nathan Alderman</name>
        <uri>http://www.theincomparable.com</uri>
    </author>
    
        <category term="Television" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    <category term="abc" label="abc" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="comedy" label="comedy" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="kelseygrammarandhismanypoorlifechoices" label="kelsey grammar and his many poor life choices" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="michaelemerson" label="michael emerson" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="reasonsnottomesswithbenjaminlinus" label="reasons not to mess with benjamin linus" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://www.theincomparable.com/">
        <![CDATA[So the other night, while watching the season's final episodes of the still-awesome-and-actually-sorta-getting-even-better <a href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2009/04/funny-ha-ha-and-funny-oh-god-no.html"><i>Better Off Ted</i></a>, I saw this: 
<object height="340" width="560"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/YWloEQrmLbQ&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/YWloEQrmLbQ&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="340" width="560"></object>
<br /><br />Bad enough that the impending denizens of ABC's "Comedy Wednesday" shuffle shamefacedly into their new fake house with all the confidence of cattle headed for a date with a compressed-air gun and a meat saw. (In the brief glimpse we get of Kelsey Grammar, you can practically see the man wishing he'd invested his "Frasier" earnings more prudently.) But when every single one of your supposedly hilarious stars gets absolutely blown off the screen, comedywise, by the creepy guy from "Lost"? In less than 30 seconds?<br /><br />That, my friends, is the sound of absolutely no one laughing on Wednesday nights. At least, not on ABC.<br />]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Fangs a Lot, BBC America</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2009/07/fangs-a-lot-bbc-america.html" />
    <id>tag:www.theincomparable.com,2009://22.5415</id>

    <published>2009-07-27T17:20:05Z</published>
    <updated>2009-07-27T17:34:57Z</updated>

    <summary>Just a quick post to inform anyone who hadn&apos;t been within a mile of BBC America for, oh, the past three months that Being Human finally premiered last Saturday. The story of a vampire, a werewolf, and a ghost all...</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Nathan Alderman</name>
        <uri>http://www.theincomparable.com</uri>
    </author>
    
        <category term="Television" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://www.theincomparable.com/">
        <![CDATA[Just a quick post to inform anyone who hadn't been within a mile of BBC America for, oh, the past three months that <a href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2009/04/friends-with-teeth.html"><i>Being Human</i></a> finally premiered last Saturday. The story of a vampire, a werewolf, and a ghost all sharing a flat in <strike>Edinburgh</strike> Bristol happily remains just as big-hearted, funny, and spine-tinglingly creepy in series form as it did in its pilot. <br /><br />New cast members Aidan Turner (as Mitchell the vampire) and the delightfully bubbly Leonora Critchlow (Annie the ghost) manage to improve on the already-good actors they've replaced from the pilot. Russell Tovey (George the dorky werewolf) remains the show's highlight, able to switch deftly from nervous comedy to hair-raising screams of anguish as he wolfs out. <br /><br />The subplot about Mitchell's darkly ambitious vampire pals now feels a lot fresher and more interesting, in part thanks to Jason Watkins filling Adrian Lester's shoes as head bloodsucker Herrick. He's now a police sergeant, which gives the character an air of ominous authoritarian menace, and as written by creator Toby Whithouse and portrayed by Watkins, Herrick walks a fine and unnerving line between charming and terrifying. <br /><br />In short, it's a winner of a show for sci-fi and horror fans -- the rare jaunt into scary territory that's also truly, wonderfully funny, and has real sympathy for its well-drawn characters. Unless you're out on the prowl for fresh blood, locked in the basement for your "time of the month," or too immaterial to pick up the remote, give it a try.<br /><br /><i>Things go bump in the night Saturdays at 9 p.m. on BBC America.</i><br /> ]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Blink BOOM</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2009/07/blink-boom.html" />
    <id>tag:www.theincomparable.com,2009://22.5414</id>

    <published>2009-07-23T16:52:31Z</published>
    <updated>2009-07-23T17:53:07Z</updated>

    <summary><![CDATA[I saw Harry Potter and the Endless Franchise the other day.&nbsp; (Can you remember a time when we weren't watching Harry Potter movies?&nbsp; Can you imagine a time when we won't be?)&nbsp; I don't want to review the movie, really,...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Christopher Rywalt</name>
        <uri>http://www.theincomparable.com</uri>
    </author>
    
        <category term="Movies" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://www.theincomparable.com/">
        <![CDATA[<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><img alt="harrypotter.jpg" src="http://www.theincomparable.com/harrypotter.jpg" class="mt-image-left" style="margin: 0pt 20px 20px 0pt; float: left;" height="399" width="259" /></span>I saw <i>Harry Potter and the Endless Franchise </i>the other day.&nbsp; (Can you remember a time when we weren't watching Harry Potter movies?&nbsp; Can you imagine a time when we won't be?)&nbsp; I don't want to review the movie, really, except to note that it's one of those middle-of-a-series movies where plot threads are mainly carried forward and nothing is really resolved; if you haven't been paying attention to the whole series none of it will make the slightest sense; and even though I'd read and enjoyed the book I spent most of the movie slightly bewildered and confused anyway.<br /><br />I may have been more addled than usual, though, thanks to the movie trailers preceding the main film.&nbsp; The previews were for some remarkably adult, violent movies, including <i><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1190080/">2012</a>, </i>the upcoming end-of-the-world flick starring John Cusack (was Nicolas Cage too busy doing <i>Knowing</i>?) from the overwrought forge of Roland Emmerich; and also a version of Sherlock Holmes starring Robert Downey Jr. as the great detective and Jude Law as Watson, which casting makes it sound awesome, except judging by the trailer someone decided, for reasons entirely unclear to me, to make Sherlock (not to mention Downey) into a martial arts action hero.<br /><span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><img alt="johncusack.small.jpg" src="http://www.theincomparable.com/johncusack.small.jpg" class="mt-image-right" style="margin: 0pt 0pt 20px 20px; float: right;" height="200" width="300" /></span><br />All of which is bad enough, honestly.&nbsp; But what really got to me is this new style of trailer I've been seeing far too much of lately.&nbsp; I'm guessing that, in a world where <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_LaFontaine">the In a World Guy</a> is dead, and anyway where he spent the last decade or so satirizing himself (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXbFuNQwTbs">and being satirized</a>), in that world we need some new movie trailer cliche we can have beat into our foreheads, and this is it:&nbsp; The Blink BOOM Trailer.<br /><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden" /><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden" /><div id="refHTML"></div><br />That's where we get a quick shot, usually of something supposedly unspeakable happening, and then a rapid fade to black while the soundtrack goes BOOM!&nbsp; This is followed by another quick shot, rapid fade, BOOM!&nbsp; Over and over.&nbsp; It's like being hit in the head with a bat repeatedly.<br /><br />I'd rather the movie studios just hire a really big scary guy to come into the theater and say, "If you don't go see Roland Emmerich's latest masterpiece I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!"&nbsp; Because, whether I did or didn't go see it, the experience would be less painful than the Blink BOOM Trailer.<br /><div><br /></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden" /><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden" /><div id="refHTML"></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden" /><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden" /><div id="refHTML"></div><div><br /></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden" /><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden" /><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden" /><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden" /><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden" /><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden" /><div id="refHTML"></div>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>So Bad, They&apos;re Great</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2009/07/so-bad-theyre-great.html" />
    <id>tag:www.theincomparable.com,2009://22.5413</id>

    <published>2009-07-14T03:14:38Z</published>
    <updated>2009-07-17T02:28:26Z</updated>

    <summary>Hear that low, rhythmic rumbling sound in the distance, drawing ever nearer as Wednesday, July 15 approaches? That, my friends, is what John Rogers -- co-creator of TNT&apos;s terrific heist-caper series Leverage -- refers to as The Fun Train. And...</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Nathan Alderman</name>
        <uri>http://www.theincomparable.com</uri>
    </author>
    
        <category term="Television" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    <category term="aldishodge" label="aldis hodge" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="bethriesgraf" label="beth riesgraf" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="christiankane" label="christian kane" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="damnyoujasonlee" label="damn you jason lee" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="ginabellman" label="gina bellman" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="johnrogers" label="john rogers" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="leverage" label="leverage" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="timothyhutton" label="timothy hutton" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="tnt" label="tnt" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://www.theincomparable.com/">
        <![CDATA[<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image" style="display: inline;"><img alt="leverage.jpg" src="http://www.theincomparable.com/leverage.jpg" width="350" class="mt-image-right" style="float: right; margin: 0 0 20px 20px;" /></span>Hear that low, rhythmic rumbling sound in the distance, drawing ever nearer as Wednesday, July 15 approaches? That, my friends, is what John Rogers -- co-creator of TNT's terrific heist-caper series <i>Leverage</i> -- refers to as The Fun Train. And it's going full steam ahead.<div><br /></div><div>Look, if you don't enjoy heist capers in at least some way, shape, or form, you're most likely a Communist. Or dead. Or a dead Communist. A brilliant mastermind assembling a team of eccentric experts to pull off an elegant, morally justifiable bit of larceny? What's not to love? <i>Leverage</i>, with its breezy writing and first-rate cast,&nbsp;delivers all of this in spades. But beware -- this show's running a con of its own, and you, the viewer, are the mark. Because The Fun Train makes sudden and unexpected stops, and the stations at which it does are dark, lonely, compelling places indeed.</div>]]>
        <![CDATA[Timothy Hutton is Nate Ford, a former insurance investigator whose ex-employer denied his son a life-saving medical treatment just to pad its bottom line. Now, to get revenge on them and all the other pinstriped bastards screwing over ordinary people in the name of the Almighty Dollar, he's assembled an expert team of the very same criminals he used to hunt down -- and he's out to rob the fat cats blind.<div><br /></div><div>You'd expect a former Oscar winner on the basic cable to slum it, even a little bit, especially in a show that wears its pulp influences on its sleeve. Hutton, to his considerable credit, does not. His performance here is every bit as lived-in, complex, and engaging as his work on NBC's late, great <i>Kidnapped</i> a few years back.</div><div><br /></div><div>It certainly doesn't hurt that his co-stars all bring their respective A-games, too. Gina Bellman, who's previously walked off with great whopping chunks of <i>Coupling</i> and <i>Jekyll</i>, is Sophie the grifter -- a hilariously wretched actress on the legitimate stage, but a master manipulator on the job. With all due respect to <i>Leverage'</i>s writers, none of them are Steven Moffat-class brilliant, so Bellman doesn't come across quite as uproarious or electrifying here. But she plays her meaty and intriguing relationship with Nate expertly, and when the show does give her a chance to be funny (dear show: <i>do more of this</i>), she absolutely kills.</div><div><br /></div><div>Christian Kane, light-years from his days as that evil lawyer dude on <i>Angel</i>, plays Eliot the muscle as a delightful mix of country-boy charm and unexpected urbanity. For someone who's so very, very good at hurting people, Eliot's a surprisingly likeable guy -- perhaps because he takes only so much pleasure on doling out the violence. Also? He's a hell of a cook.</div><div><br /></div><div>Aldis Hodge, previously seen on <i>Friday Night Lights</i>, could almost be an aggravating stereotype as Hardison the hacker, an apparent graduate from the Eddie Murphy When He Was Still Funny School of Smooth-Talking Comic Deceit. But Hodge brings real sweetness and charm to the role, especially during the scam in which he manages to insinuate himself into an office full of burnt-out paper pushers, throw himself a birthday party, give a major presentation, and get dramatically fired all in a single afternoon.</div><div><br /></div><div>And last but not least, there's what comic book nerds like me would refer to as the Sensational Character Find of 2008: Beth <span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: line-through;">"Mrs. Jason Lee"</span> Riesgraf as Parker the thief. A sweetly amoral cat burglar extraordinaire, Parker has the manners and mannerisms of a vaguely homicidal eight-year-old. She's one of the most gloriously, vividly weird characters in TV drama today, and her penchant for getting basic-cable naked at the drop of a hat doesn't exactly make her less endearing. (Thanks to reader Julie for restoring my faith in a higher power, by assuring me that Ms. Riesgraf is not, and has never been, married to the star of two, count 'em, two live-action <i>Alvin and the Chipmunks</i> movies. Somewhere, the j-school professors who drilled me on fact-checking are shaking their heads sadly.)</div><div><br /></div><div>The characters alone would make <i>Leverage</i> worth watching, but the show's writers also do a top-notch job of cooking up great, twisty, disaster-packed capers for them to pull off. From carrying out a sting in the midst of a bank robbery, to thwarting an airline bombing while in midair on the plane in question, to successfully planning, catering, and officiating a wedding for a Mafia don, the show's plots take considerable glee in going places you'd never expect.</div><div><br /></div><div>(I only wish the show's heavies were equally unpredictable. The writers supposedly conduct extensive research on real corporate crime in cooking up their plots, but the bad guys too often come off as one-dimensional stock scumbags. If a villain were to, say, hustle orphans onto a dynamite-packed bus headed off the edge of the Grand Canyon, he or she would not come across as the most implausible antagonist in the series' history. Ah, well. It's still fun to watch these creeps get their comeuppance.)</div><div><br /></div><div>And just when you think <i>Leverage</i> is all light, frothy fun, you suddenly begin to realize that Nate Ford always, always has a drink in his hand. And when you've successfully rationalized that he's got his drinking managed, all of a sudden he's locked in rehab as part of a con, and he's gone 24 hours without a drink, and he's sweating and hallucinating and screaming at his teammates. And even when that ordeal's over, he still can't admit he's got a problem; he's right back to being blithe and charming and lying to himself, even when he admits that his grandfather and father before him were alcoholics, that he can handle it. And suddenly, someone's pulled the emergency brake on the Fun Train.</div><div><br /></div><div>Booze has Nate by the throat, and the subtlety with which <i>Leverage</i> handles this elevates it from a merely fun show to a truly good one. Hutton and the writers take pains to avoid making Nate some staggering, disheveled caricature. His disease is quieter, more insidious, and as a result, genuinely disturbing. Kudos to Rogers and co-creator Chris Downey for spiking such a truly fun and joyful show with this jolt of real darkness.</div><div><br /></div><div>After mere months off the air, <i>Leverage</i>&nbsp;returns Wednesday, July 15 for its second season. If you like being mightily entertained, and maybe just a little unsettled, steal some time to check it out.</div>]]>
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Re-watching Lost, Season 1, Episode 2: &quot;Walkabout&quot;</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.theincomparable.com/2009/07/re-watching-lost-season-1-episode-2-walkabout.html" />
    <id>tag:www.theincomparable.com,2009://22.5411</id>

    <published>2009-07-08T18:15:15Z</published>
    <updated>2009-07-08T18:18:39Z</updated>

    <summary> This episode of &#8220;Lost&#8221; reveals the truth about John Locke and plants several other seeds that suggest the island we&#8217;re on isn&#8217;t peculiar only because it&#8217;s the home of a loud yet strangely invisible monster. A full report on...</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Jason Snell</name>
        <uri>http://www.theincomparable.com</uri>
    </author>
    
        <category term="Television" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
    
    <category term="lost" label="Lost" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    <category term="lostseason1" label="Lost Season 1" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://www.theincomparable.com/">
        <![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.theincomparable.com/images/locke.jpg" alt="locke.jpg" border="0" width="479" height="267" /></p>

<p>This episode of &#8220;Lost&#8221; reveals the truth about John Locke and plants several other seeds that suggest the island we&#8217;re on isn&#8217;t peculiar only because it&#8217;s the home of a loud yet strangely invisible monster. A full report on &#8220;Walkabout&#8221; coming right up &#8212; but not before I check the cancellation policy for my Australian Walkabout tour&#8230;</p>
]]>
        <![CDATA[<blockquote>
  <p><em>&#8220;This is destiny. This is my destiny. I&#8217;m supposed to do this, dammit. Don&#8217;t tell me what I can&#8217;t do!&#8221;</em></p>
</blockquote>

<p>If there is a single, series-definining episode of &#8220;Lost,&#8221; it&#8217;s almost certainly &#8220;Walkabout.&#8221; The final scenes, with their &#8220;Twilight Zone&#8221;-caliber revelation about the true story of John Locke that casts everything we&#8217;ve seen before in a completely new light, set the standard for many future revelations that precede the final LOST title card and clunking sound effect by only a few seconds.</p>

<p>So, full credit to the writer of this remarkable episode &#8212; not Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse, who have come to represent the &#8220;Lost&#8221; writing brain trust, but &#8220;Buffy&#8221; and &#8220;Angel&#8221; veteran David Fury. Fury&#8217;s writing stint on &#8220;Lost&#8221; lasted only one season, and appears to have ended in at least some degree of acrimony. (He ended up leaving the show to work on &#8220;24,&#8221; and forgive me for saying this, but what a colossal waste of talent <em>that</em> was. Perhaps there was simply no way for Fury to co-exist with Lindelof and Cuse on &#8220;Lost,&#8221; but &#8220;24?&#8221; I once admired that show, but when it comes to writing? Talk about your proverbial sausage factory.)</p>

<p>No matter the outcome, in many ways it&#8217;s Fury&#8217;s episode that not only forms the prototype of the very best &#8220;Lost&#8221; episodes to come, but in some ways it might be the episode that saved the show from cancellation. Think back to the series&#8217; premiere in the fall of 2004. ABC first made the questionable decision of splitting the two-hour pilot into two separate episodes a week apart, but at least those two episodes deliver the goods. The third episode to be aired, &#8220;Tabula Rasa,&#8221; is a relatively mild look at Kate&#8217;s sojourn in an Australian farm. I&#8217;d be shocked if audiences weren&#8217;t getting a little antsy at this show with a strong action-adventure pilot that took its third episode to cool off and give us a little bit of a character study.</p>

<p>I&#8217;m not saying that I dislike the character-study episodes. On the contrary. I&#8217;m just saying, if you came out and told the ABC prime-time audience that your show about a plane crash on a deserted island was actually a series of character studies about a half-dozen characters and how their previous lives informed the decisions they made on the island, I think that audience would have abandoned the series in droves.</p>

<p>So with this pivotal fourth hour, we get &#8220;Walkabout,&#8221; and by its end we have a pretty good idea of every single scrap of clothing that&#8217;s been stuffed into the suitcase. This is a show about characters on an island, and about their pasts, yes. But those flashbacks are gonna blow your <em>mind</em>, man, and there is something seriously freaky about that island. </p>

<p>In case you haven&#8217;t gone back and consulted this episode, yes, this is the episode where we discover that Locke, who in the present is a wild-eyed guy with a suitcase full of knives who leads a boar hunt and ends up both confronting the island&#8217;s mystery monster and dragging a big ham dinner back to the beach, was a milquetoast in a wheelchair just days before.</p>

<p>The construction of the episode is beautiful, with a pair of bookended scenes of John on the beach wiggling his toes and putting on his shoes, flawlessly intercut with beach scenes from the pilot episode. In between, we learn about Locke, but almost everything we learn is almost immediately called into question.</p>

<p>Take the first flashback. It&#8217;s immediately preceded by a scene in which Locke hurls a sharpened knife and declares that the crash survivors will find sustenance by hunting the wild boars that attacked them the night before. As he&#8217;s about to spend more than a hundred episodes doing, Hurley asks the question we&#8217;re all thinking: &#8220;Who is this guy?&#8221;</p>

<p>Obviously he&#8217;s a military guy, given the phone conversation he&#8217;s having in the flashback, in which a co-worker calls him &#8220;Colonel Locke.&#8221; Except that&#8217;s immediately put to the test when his jerk of a supervisor, Randy, demands to see some TPS reports. (We&#8217;ll see Randy again &#8212; but earlier on in his timeline &#8212; as a co-worker of Hurley&#8217;s at Mr. Cluck&#8217;s Chicken. I believe the way the timeline works is, Randy loses his job when Mr. Cluck&#8217;s is destroyed by a rogue meteor, and in sympathy Hurley &#8212; who has won the lottery and owns the box company Locke works for &#8212; gives him a job at the box company. There&#8217;s your Obscure Lost Trivia for today.)</p>

<p>Randy (played by Billy Ray Gallion) is a really, really insulting boss. Why, if I were Locke, I wouldn&#8217;t take this sort of treatment sitting down. Hmm.</p>

<p>Locke leads the wild boar hunt (Wild Boar Hunt! In Color!), but his leadership skills are a little questionable. Michael gets gored, and rather than help Kate get him back to the beach, he just goes off in search of that white whale &#8212; er, pig. But not before a scene in which, knocked off his feet by the boar, Locke carefully moves his legs. There&#8217;s one shot in particular, of Locke&#8217;s foot in the extreme foreground as he checks to see if he&#8217;s okay, that really pays off when you watch the episode again. Yes, John, you can still walk. The miracle is still intact.</p>

<p>In Locke&#8217;s second flashback exchange with Randy, as well as the final scene with Locke in the office of the Australian Walkabout tours, there&#8217;s some pretty heavy dialogue that gives us an idea from the very beginning that Locke&#8217;s part of this story is going to be about fulfilling a destiny. In Tustin at the box company, he references a double amputee who climbed Mount Everest.</p>

<p>&#8220;That what you think you got, old man?&#8221; Randy says. &#8220;Destiny?</p>

<p>&#8220;Just&#8230; don&#8217;t tell me what I can&#8217;t do,&#8221; John replies, in the line that defines his personality. Later, after the Walkabout tour manager refuses to put Locke on this bus, Locke declares, &#8220;This is destiny. This is my destiny. I&#8217;m supposed to do this, dammit.&#8221;</p>

<p>The episode does give us what many of these episodes will &#8212; the hint that there&#8217;s more backstory to these characters without a lot of detail, allowing future episodes to fill in the blanks. In the case of Locke, we see &#8212; while he&#8217;s laying on his bed casually&#8230; hmm&#8230; &#8212; him talking to &#8220;Helen,&#8221; who turns out to be a phone-sex operator. Locke sadly proposes that she come with him to Australia. There&#8217;s much more story to tell here &#8212; later.</p>

<p>Similarly, he tells Mr. Walkabout Tours that it&#8217;s been four years since he lost the ability to walk. So this is apparently a <em>recent</em> occurrence. That&#8217;s interesting. I wonder what happened to make him suddenly lose the ability to walk? The show will, of course, answer that question. But not until we&#8217;ve sat through a series of teases and misdirections.</p>

<p>Speaking of teases and misdirections, it will be a long time before we catch a glimpse of the monster, let alone a long, full-frontal view of it. And we still don&#8217;t know exactly what it is, though there are some pretty good clues out there. But in this episode, someone <em>does</em> see the monster: John Locke. The monster comes at him through the woods, makes its creepy New York City taxi meter clicking noise, and apparently John passes the test in a way that, say, Mr. Eko won&#8217;t.</p>

<p>That scene &#8212; Locke sees the monster, turning his head from side to side in the suggestion that what he&#8217;s seeing is <em>big</em> &#8212; is one that stuck with me for a long time. It suggests that Locke either knows what the monster looks like or at least knows something about it. More importantly, the fact that he didn&#8217;t end up chomped like the pilot suggests again that there&#8217;s something special about Locke. But what? I think we have a much better answer now, but even given the outcome of the show&#8217;s fifth-season finale, I&#8217;m still not sure we&#8217;ve heard the whole story of John Locke. I sure hope we haven&#8217;t, anyway.</p>

<p>No matter Locke&#8217;s ultimate disposition, though, this episode&#8217;s ending is really a thing of beauty. Sure, the shocking revelation of Locke&#8217;s wheelchair in the tour office in Austrlia is what people remember. But that&#8217;s not how the episode ends. It ends with John back on the beach, Michael Giacchino&#8217;s score swelling in an uplifting manner that doesn&#8217;t match at all with the madness and horror of the plane-crash scene. John wiggles his feet, puts on his shoes, stands up, and rushes to help Jack (as seen in the pilot episode) &#8212; all mundane events were it not for the extraordinary events happening around him and the fact that for the past four years he hasn&#8217;t been able to stand upright. </p>

<p>In the show&#8217;s final scene, we&#8217;re back on the beach, as the survivors burn the fuselage. Through the flames, John spies his old wheelchair, and smiles. Wow.</p>

<p>Here&#8217;s the thing about this episode: It makes it clear that, from the very beginning, Locke is aware that the island is special. Not only does he know it because he&#8217;s been healed, but then he sees the monster. Locke is way ahead of everyone else. He&#8217;s not playing the same game as the rest of them, and it&#8217;ll be a long time before they catch up with him.</p>

<p>Now, there are plenty of other stories going on in this episode, despite all the Lockey goodness. It&#8217;ll be another season before the producers really put the island plot in stall mode. Right now, all the balls are in the air.</p>

<ul>
<li><p>The fuselage full of dead B-O-D-Y-S is dispatched, given a Viking funeral after a touching memorial service. Interesting points: Jack refuses to lead the memorial service, so it falls to Claire. Her makeshift memorial messages are a very touching reminder that a whole bunch of people died before the story of &#8220;Lost&#8221; even began. There&#8217;s Steve and Kristin, who don&#8217;t even have last names, but were in love and were going to get married. Some people are remembered based on the barest of details &#8212; video-store receipts, the corrective-lens and organ-donor indications on a driver&#8217;s license, and the lack of stamps on a passport. Perhaps the saddest of all: &#8220;Vonstead, Harold. That&#8217;s all we have, a name and a boarding pass.&#8221;</p></li>
<li><p>Rose is a major guest-star in this episode. Jack is tasked with giving her a pep talk &#8212; wow, talk about the wrong choice. But it goes pretty well, considering. And we get that nice moment where Jack suggests she say something about her husband, and Rose looks at Jack like he&#8217;s certifiable. &#8220;Doctor, my husband is not dead,&#8221; she says &#8212; another one of my all-time favorite &#8220;Lost&#8221; lines. Jack responds by telling her that everyone in the tail section is gone. Rose&#8217;s response? &#8220;They&#8217;re probably thinking the same thing about us.&#8221;</p></li>
<li><p>Another interesting thing about Rose: As we&#8217;ll find out later, her story parallels Locke&#8217;s. She, too, has benefited from the miraculous healing powers of the island. How fitting that she should be featured in this, of all episodes. But Rose, unlike Locke, is not interested in making a journey of discovery and destiny. She&#8217;s satisfied with finding her husband and living out her natural life with him on the island. Sounds good to me, Rose.</p></li>
<li><p>Sayid&#8217;s quest, in his role as Iraqi MacGyver, is to fix the radio. We see him working on it in this episode, and it&#8217;ll lead to him meeting Danielle Rousseau in a few episodes. It also leads to him giving Kate an antenna to place in a tree, which she completely botches.</p></li>
<li><p>Boone and Shannon bicker some more. They really <em>are</em> this season&#8217;s Nikki and Paolo. Also, Shannon proves herself to be a gold-plated bitch by conning Charlie into getting Hurley to catch a fish. This will set up a story arc in which we learn that Shannon is a misunderstood soul just waiting to be redeemed by the love of a former Iraqi torturer. Boy, can&#8217;t wait for that.</p></li>
<li><p>Claire finds Sayid&#8217;s photo of Nadia in the personal effects.</p></li>
<li><p>Sawyer gives some stuff to Claire, suggesting he&#8217;s growing a conscience. Which is sort of a misdirection, and sort of not.</p></li>
<li><p>Boone shows concern for Locke &#8212; &#8220;That bald guy didn&#8217;t come back!&#8221; &#8212; that you could call foreshadowing of his relationship with Locke if you really wanted to.</p></li>
<li><p>The episode&#8217;s other big &#8220;Twilight Zone&#8221; element &#8212; which sort of gets paid off in the following episode &#8212; is Jack twice seeing a man wearing a business suit and white tennis shoes, looking at him from far off down the beach. Both times he disappears mysteriously, as apparitions do. This ends up being pretty darned relevant to the series&#8217; story arc as a whole.</p></li>
</ul>

<p>Which brings me to one of the major questions about &#8220;Lost,&#8221; namely what the writers knew and when they knew it. David Fury himself claimed that the writers didn&#8217;t have a clue and were making it up as they went along. I believe that statement was mildly disputed by Cuse, Lindelof, and J.J Abrams.</p>

<p>Do I really believe that the writers knew where they were going at this point in the series? No, of course not. I think they had some general ideas, but also wanted to plant some seeds that could be used later as payoffs, even without knowing exactly how. A lot of fans would call this <em>retcon</em>, or retroactive continuity. But I don&#8217;t think that&#8217;s fair. Locke&#8217;s healing and talk of destiny, his ability to stare the monster in the face without perishing, shows that the writers knew what direction they were heading, but not necessarily in more than the vaguest terms. Likewise, the reference to the tail section &#8212; another thread intentionally left loose. This early in a series&#8217; run, the last thing you want to do is close yourself off from possibilities. So the writers created a lot of compelling-but-vague mythology and figured out how best to fit it in later.</p>

<p>My best bet is that Cuse and Lindelof really figured out where they were going after the first season, when the show&#8217;s ratings suggested they&#8217;d have a chance to run for years. But as I watch these episodes again, it&#8217;ll be interesting to note which threads they&#8217;ve picked up &#8212; and which ones they&#8217;ve ignored.</p>

<p>Another interesting topic brought up by this episode: In many ways, the revelation of Locke&#8217;s magical healing powers is the final admission from the show that it&#8217;s going to have a serious fantasy element. (Yes, the monster and polar bears were big hints, but they could have been explained away by more mundane answers.) It&#8217;s always a delicate thing, asking a mainstream TV audience to accept that you&#8217;re telling a story that&#8217;s got rules a bit beyond accepted reality.</p>

<p>Now, why this should be the case is something that causes me some consternation. Most blockbuster movies are fantasy or sci-fi. Many bestselling novels, including those by &#8220;Lost&#8221; patron saint Stephen King, also deal with fantastic premises. But sci-fi on mainstream network TV doesn&#8217;t have a great track record.</p>

<p>&#8220;Lost&#8221; gets away with it, I think, because of its modern setting and its emphasis on character. At the end of the episode, the impact we feel when we see Locke in that wheelchair is far greater because of who he is and what we&#8217;ve seen about his life on and off the island. In that moment, yeah, we&#8217;re wondering how he was magically healed. But we&#8217;re also realizing that when John Locke truly got a chance to fulfill his destiny and have his adventure in a wild, far-off land, he ended up dragging a boar back to camp and feeding all of his compatriots. That&#8217;s the brilliance of &#8220;Lost.&#8221;</p>

<p><strong>Skippable?</strong> Are you kidding? If you could watch only one first-season episode of &#8220;Lost,&#8221; this might be it.</p>

<p><strong>Superfluous:</strong> Kate shows that she&#8217;s a wicked good tree climber. This will never be important.</p>

<p><strong>Up next:</strong> &#8220;White Rabbit,&#8221; in which Jack goes down the rabbit hole and we meet Christian Shephard and a remarkable facsimile.</p>

<p>Got a comment? Feel free to join in.</p>
]]>
    </content>
</entry>

</feed>
